Tuesday's Slime

I'm officially boycotting TMZ I give it two days because they massively grossed me out by asking Billy Bob Thornton if he is okay with having sex during that special girl time (he said he is). Okay, boy interviewer, you try experiencing the joys of being a woman for two months and you'll go screaming back to mommy. There is so much vileness we girls put up with and never even mention, well, except maybe in a dark place in a bar and only females populate the earth and we just talk about our periods and nothing else. Pretty below-the-belt TMI, TMZ.

RHoBH: Adrienne Maloof slimes her self-tanner on the white furniture at Lisa's and at Kyle's White Party. Now that's something I want to try--make my butt impression on my mother's white furniture in her apartment. Luckily, she has a lot of guests who can't see. Taylor couldn't go to the White Party because she got wasted, slept with someone, got a  plane and forgot her kid. Starting to see Kim as the sane one. Her new nose does look fabulous.

The Bachelor: (spoiler) Just because Dez's brother wants to do her, why did Sean send her home? And do we believe he's a virgin? This headline sooo did not make me buy the latest US magazine and hide it under my People.

Best quote from Vanderpump Rules: "You need to take that victim tampon out of your ass."

Full circle.