Deadly Valentine Star News

Forgive me, I couldn't bear to deal with the whole Oscar Pistorius alleged murder of Reeva Steenkamp story. The rags have splashed her photo everywhere. It's so Lifetime. I bought the Post, which filled me with self-loathing until I ate three See's chocolates after which I ran seven miles. An ugly tale.

Hey, great news, former Extra hostess Dayna Devon might join the RHoBH! This is a major score because the cast just isn't blond enough. It's rumored that Taylor Armstrong will not return. This hurts me since I enjoyed her scary, drunken outbursts since I have those moments too--just without the alcohol or outburst part. My vibe tells me Adrienne will go, too, since her presence this season--aside from the understated catfight with Brandi--has been limited. Oh wait, I take that back. They'll evict Kim, give her some coloring books and candy necklaces. Dish is right there with her, testing out the updated Ghost Radar app for iPad. (It works!)

In celebrity law: Kris Humphries's lawyer is gone so he needs a new one to keep up the farce that is marriage to a Kardashian. I long for the day when Kardashian goes the way of Paris Hilton. Even more mind numbing, that LeAnn Rimes is still in the news and not for singing! She's allegedly suing her dentist for messing up her teeth. Reminds me, I need to get my front tooth evened out pronto before anyone notices. In college I opened a beer bottle and chipped one. It's like a badge of honor to my stupidity. That was, like, 23 5 years ago.