Sneaking in Smash While Husband Asleep!

When I put on Fashion Police, TG went out for a walk. Then, as I geared up for Smash, he went into the bedroom with his sleeping device (thick book on France). I try to keep my guilty pleasures secret, but after my foot massage, my manicure, the pampering is seeping out.

Smash brought in Bernadette Peters, who stole the damn thing in 90 seconds. My eyes also filled during "Everything's Coming Up Roses." Then, we know how much Dish loves Geezer Sex. If we play our cards right, Anjelica Huston's going to knock knees with the bartender hunk from All My Children. Please let this happen. If it doesn't work out between them, bring in Geezer Emeritus Christopher Plummer to sex Anjelica silly.

In other news, Kim Zolciak and Adriana Lima are preggo again! Those VS models are the embodiment of Astarte, the goddess of fertility. Dr. Conrad Murray is allegedly having explosive diarrhea in jail due to prison food. Maybe they're feeding him Grape Nuts and Kale, Drano for the intestines. Kirk Cameron alleges that he loves all people. He doesn't hate anyone. What about Hitler?

Now Dish is going to get serious.

We Duranies Will Still Be Here When Duran Duran Is Ready To Tour!

I'm a little blue with TG out of town and me not supposed to gorge on those chocolate covered graham crackers from Starbucks. At the supermarket, I wandered past the cupcakes and thought, I'll grab a quick one. Not this time, Dish. More somber thoughts ensued...until the supermarket radio announcer said, "Duran Duran has canceled their summer tour because of lead singer Simon Le Bon's ongoing vocal problems..." Dammit, it was the Universe telling me other people--Simon--are suffering way more. Their album just came out. International dates were set. How frustrating for them and FOR THE WORLD that they can't tour. Dish can refuse the brownie with ice cream, hot fudge and almond slivers. I'll eat heinous celery in solidarity. Or maybe fried chicken.

Something else important happened today. Atlantis went up in space. I don't understand why it's The Final Journey. Is there new space technology that doesn't require a rocket?

I treadmilled a little longer to witness the landing of Will and Kate in California. The plane approached, stopped, blocks put under wheels, steps came down...and then that Damn John King interrupted with a real news show.

Last item: Rebecca Gayheart--PREGS! Last I saw her, she was on Vanished with Gale Harold (whose birthday is Sunday). Today, eat some heinous celery to honor Anjelica Huston's day of birth!