She's Gotta Go to Rehab, She Said Maybe, Maybe, Maybe But Only as Outpatient

Like that works for someone who keeps crawling back into the bottle/pipe! Addiction is scary so let's send Brooke Mueller healing vibes. She seems to have a serious, serious problem. Those two boys are cute, she's pretty so why can't everything be perfect? Who knew chaos would ensue all those years ago when she swooshed into Sheen's life moments after Denise left him. Those kids need non-dysfunctional nannies to raise them. As I write this frantic post, Fantasia herself is in labor.

Ah, women in transition. Creating and destroying. Dish spent the evening checking out stars in unflattering bikinis on radaronline.com. It made me feel so much better to see Cindy Crawford's normal lady gut. Another piece of banana bread for me. If they can jiggle, so can I!

Lindsay got her purse stolen in Hawaii. Didn't this happen when she went to Cannes and had to face the judge but couldn't get back because she had no ID? She is like a modern-day Job this one.

Just caught up with Dexter. The show seems to want Jennifer Carpenter and Michael C. Hall to make out and this must be *so* uncomfortable for them. Jen has looked haggard this season and I wonder, how is she coping? He seems to have moved on quickly. The finale looks fantastic. Even TG, who says Dexter is "stupid", gazed fixedly at the preview. Collin Hanks wasn't as frightening as Trinity, but he's better than last season.

Today in Non Sequiturs

Such intrigue over the Beckhams' choice of name for their little girl: Harper Seven. This is one of the few names that I get. Harper, nothing wrong with that. And Seven had a lot of significance for the family. TG and I will name our future child Preston Altoid. In more baby news: Jewel gave birth to a boy entitled Kase. Hmmmm.

Weird news: Brooke Mueller seems to have been photographed carrying a crack pipe. It was a strange, strange potentially damning photo. Particularly distressing were the sweatpants combined with high heels. I feel bad for those kids.

Random: Where will you be on Dish's birthday this Friday? Waiting in line for the new Harry Potter? I've totally avoided this phenomenon. In case you read today's Post, go to Page Six to see some weird cryptic typos. Someone needs a good editor! I saw the back of Ken Pave's head today. Preview for the new Dallas is awesome. I got chills: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1mJAwoV22Q.

I don't know if you're aware of the b*tchy piece against Zooey Deschanel by "journalist" Patt Morrison where he (she) called ZD a "snobby cow." http://opinion.latimes.com/opinionla/2011/07/downtown-la-good-enough-for-the-royals-but-not-for-zooey-deschanel.html. It's pretty awful and someone was definitely on his period. Zooey responded most excellently: http://hellogiggles.com/an-open-letter-to-los-angeles-times-writer-patt-morrisson.