If You See Kevin Bacon on the Subway, Say Hello!

This tidbit comes courtesy of TG, who is obviously revealing his closet-love of the stars. I like to live in a world where Kevin is friendly, waving to us, and breaking into his Footloose dance. But I also remember a time when a now famous personality brought a group of friends through Central Park and they all waved at Kev & Kyra. K&K sneered and covered their faces. Well, I would have run in the opposite direction because of, well, a certain parade where women were assaulted in the park. You just never know and celebs need extra protection.

You know I'm a fool for love because I'd give up Downton Abbey I've already watched all of season 3--and my reaction, Dishbrother says, means I've a heart of stone to watch Rachael vs. Guy Celebrity Cookoff. It's down to Dean and Carnie Wilson. TG and I love Carnie, because she's a mess. Don't give her too many crayons at once otherwise she'll have a hissy. I adore Dean since Tori Spelling and I have been imaginary friends these last 20 years. Dean's the better chef, I think.

Oh God...I forgot...Smash Trash is BACK! And I forgot to watch this sh*tty sh*tty show that I'm totally obsessed with. Give me more weird Anjelica face/bob, bad Messing clothes because she's so artsy and NYC, soapy story-lines, McPhee dead-behind-the-eyes, wimpy hubby, pretentious Brit director who married Debra's cheating sister Amy Adams in The Wedding Date knows everything, unamazing music and well, I can't get enough.

Facebook Status Updates

Since I'm on a FB diet this week--and it's killing me, i.e. I can't FB stalk my usual suspects or keep infinitesimal tabs on TG--I will put my status updates here:

In my world, there's room for TWO donkey booty exercise DVDs. You go for it, Kenya and Phaedra.

Today is all about doing the same thing twice. THANKS, certain people.

Awesome hair day, even after exercise.

Betrayal, thy name is Beyonce. She lipsynced at the inauguration? Don't people WORK anymore???? Is Jersey Boys pre-recorded?

Shameless is my deepest fear. Why did I buy the entire season? Hating it.

Trying not to imagine Adrienne Maloof and Sean Stewart together. Ooops,too late.

Why am I wearing dots again?

If I had a dime for every show/thriller that features an effed up ex-agent called in for a special case, I'd be sh$tting caviar and Ferraris.

Loving The Following even though it's cliché, hello Se7en, Silence of the Lambs and The Killing.

Adrienne and Sean are still doing it in my head. Frances, I'll take that labotomy now.

Kevin Bacon's nostrils--still enormous!!!

Crazy on the 3rd floor called her new dog Greta one week, Mitsy the next.

Lovers' Quarrel?

The second I saw this picture years ago, I went on an imaginary gay safari filled with conversations and wild orgies I could hear/see from my zipcar window. No way is this not gay, I thought, until I remembered what it was like to be a cycle widow. This sight is a familiar one. The boys take a few bong hits and go out for a nine-hour ride, roaming in colorful packs and stopping in bagel and burger places along the way. They talk about their asses, the latest gossip and whose ass is the fattest. It's not gay, but a little gay adjacent. So I have to pin all my hopes on a liaison between Gyllenhaal and McConaughey. With his doobies, drums, trance-like beach yoga, Matty must get the sexes confused now and then. And Jake, I'm sure he paid to make out with Heath Ledger because that would be a logical thing to do. I mean, have you seen that movie? I know the truth must be very boring, but a girl can dream, right? I'm just trying to jazz up their stories. Don't ride too close to MM because he doesn't wear deodorant.

But what was the original point? Oh right. So Matthew was upset about Lance's doping, but he understood why his friend would keep it a secret--because Lance didn't want to burden Matthew with the knowledge of his doping. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

I'm a huge fan of the Post's Linda Stasi. Her insight always hits me the right way. She got me to bump off Real Housewives from my DVR and watch Kevin Bacon in The Following instead. I can't resist serial killer stories.

Saw the inauguration (sp?). Beyonce CAN sing. But not liking Michelle's bangs. I don't think they look good even on Anna Wintour. Oh god, maybe I've gone too far.

Since I can only stick to a "diet" for one week, I'm doing a year of diets. Last week, I started meditating. Didn't make a bit of difference. This week, no Facebook, unless summoned.