The Bachelor Finale--Spoiler

First of all, Dish read a spoiler to The Bachelor, which ruined everything. Never again! Oh wait, I said that last season. This time around, I felt there was only one bad apple in the whole caboose (that makes no sense, Dish)--the evil and clueless Tiera. All the other girls seemed nice. A few weren't exactly intelligent, but who cares? I'm fine with Sean's choice of Catherine, though I have the feeling she might bail later on when she realizes he's kind of nice and predictable. But that's just me, being negative. My real excitement over the finale comes with the announcement of the new Bachelorette: Katie Holmes Desiree Hartsock! She was the one I'd wanted Sean to pick toward the end.

And now, I can go back to life as usual.

Oh, and in stupid fun news: Gerard Butler finally admitted that he slept with Brandi Glanville. He just didn't remember her name. That just makes him so much more attractive, doesn't it?

Such as.

It's Official: Brooke Is My New Imaginary BFF

Not since Rosie O' and Star Jones has their been full-on drama from The View. Here it is: Joy Behar is leaving and Elisabeth Hasselbeck might also be gone. I kinda found EH annoying but liked that she represented the Red states. She hung in there for a long time even when the tide turned against her. It's a colossal bore when everyone believes in the same things. Oh hell, ideological balance begone--Brooke Shields might be joining and she's one of those stars I'd take a bullet for (maybe even twice). I'll DVR the show again! Love, love, love her.

Other than this, topsy turvy for Dish. My mother was honored in a 2-day conference--which was awesome. I've always been proud of Dishmama but seeing so many people in love with her made me very misty. In a fit of jealousy, Dishcat has chosen this moment to be on his last legs, which is heartbreaking. I've had this kitty for 18.5 years. He's seen so much.

I'm ending the weekend with a marathon of ironing TG's shirts.

Dish News

Non-fiction: Memoir

Harlequin editor Patience Bloom's ROMANCE IS MY DAY JOB, the real-life story about how she, a professional expert when it came to love, had given up on it in her own life until a surprising and romantic turn of events gave her the real-life love story she thought could only happen on the page, to Jill Schwartzman at Dutton, in a pre-empt, by Jeff Kleinman at Folio Literary Management (world).    From Publisher's Marketplace.

Too Much Happening to Stay Silent

This week was a real pisser. First The Bachelor. ABC is teasing us with The Women Tell All episode. This season did little for me. I wanted Sean to be with Dez, but he threw her back in the ocean. Was he really so douchy with AshLee that he lied about his feelings? Did he say he loved her more than the other girls? Tiera, I appreciate her role on the show.

Karen Kim Kardashian had a miscarriage scare. I was worried with all her jet-setting while carrying a baby. You can't keep up the same frenetic pace. It's hard to walk out of limos to go to planes. Dish would totally stay in one place if I were carrying a wee one. Well, that's sort of what I do now. I'm not preggo.

Joy Behar is leaving The View after 16 years. I love her stick-to-it work ethic! There is so much stop and go again in this world.

Perhaps the worst news this week is that Valerie Harper has terminal cancer, perhaps three months to live. Oh, Rhoda. It's just unfathomable. Out of respect for her, I'm going to turn off Vanderpump Rules right now and observe a moment of silence over Valerie's awesomeness.

Scheduling Announcement...

It's sunk in that I have a book to write--the story of me and TG. It has to get done within three months. I know I can do it. Don't you want to read the whole story? I definitely do.

The sad thing is that I must be disciplined. I can't spend so much time watching TV or movies or chasing celebrity factoids (though I am seeing Jersey Boys tomorrow night!). Forgive my less frequent posting (like 4 times a week instead of 7). I'm sorry, Dishmama, though you know Susan Lucci or Susan Sarandon could totally play you in the movie. Chew on that for three months!

Barbara Stanwyck is a Goddess

I saw Double Indemnity and didn't get what the fuss was about. Stanwyck, Shwanwyck. You don't necessarily love everyone, right? Then I watched The Thorn Birds this weekend and now I get how she's amazing. Just watch this. Isn't she awesome/creepy? Maybe I just hated her hair in Double Indemnity. It's really hideous. Must go back through her repertoire. This will take months...

I'm catching up with my stories:

Smash: Is Debra Messing pregnant? I'm mystified by her maternity tops, though her wardrobe on the show has been rather fug. I might officially give up. The "talented" young artist Karen discovers is lame. His music is like what I just heard my cat hack up behind the couch. I will do anything for J-Hud and A-Hust, but the direction is just not one I like (I've been saying this since Day #1). Not only that but Jersey Boys's Matt Bogart was only on for three seconds, which is a waste of talent. If my DVR accidentally still records the show, okay, I'll watch obsessively every Tuesday.

Real Housewives of BH: Adrienne and Camille not on the reunion show. Hmmm. Okay. Just bring on Brandi. Wondering if there will be any catfighting at all. Put Faye on the couch.

Vanderpump Rules: ____ like _____ like ______like

Justin Needs Better Handlers

I'm going to feel sorry for Bieber in a few years. His star will have faded, he'll have a rough time with this. If he's smart, he'll do something else, test his brain, not have tumult follow him wherever he goes.

Oh, why do I bother. I don't care. I've gone through this so many times with Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, David Cassidy, C. Thomas Howell--big stars who had to reinvent themselves after being huge child stars. It depresses me.

I'm rooting for the ones who find fame in their 50s.

Rest in Peace, Red!

Kim may have maternity wear issues, Hathaway has a flood of haters, Jen may still not be pregnant, but the world lost a valuable TV mom, One Day at a Time's Bonnie Franklin. Really really freaking sad.

So I leave you with this, one of my favorite TV theme songs ever.