Tatum O'Neal is the smartest person ever!Celebrity craziness = revival of career!
Girlfriend is on the cover of The Post two days in a row and I see that smirk on her face. It worked! I'm sorry but if I were really buying crack, I would send my personal assistant to get it for me. As Whitney says, crack is for poor people and my PA would be sucking down Ramen noodles to get by. And buying my crack!
In the next life when I'm famous, I'll do the following to build the buzz:
Suffer endless waxing and flash my chocho everywhere
Make a sex tape with Collin Farrell and leak it right before my movie/book is out. Or maybe I'll *be* Collin Farrell next time around. Even better!
Enter rehab (that's a no-brainer, though it's kind of cliche now)
Generally hang out with young people
Drive drunk, especially with kids in the car
Do something cute yet disgusting (poop my pants like Charlotte, barf Cheetos and red wine at black tie event) so that stars can lovingly refer to it in Oscar Night show banter
Sleep with a high-profile politician--well, that might be too oily even for Dish.
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