Baba Is Retiring

It's hard to believe that Barbara Walters is retiring. Maybe she and Oprah can sit by the pool and get sloshed on mojitos and do a new show together, Boprah. I want to hear drunken lady talk about who they've slept with, certainly not interesting people they've interviewed or charitable causes they've supported.

Speaking of ladies, one of my girl crushes, Jane Lynch, is on Broadway as Miss Hannigan in Annie. I had no intention of seeing this one, but now, I must. I just hope the tickets don't cut into my Jersey Boys budget.

A fond farewell to Dr. Joyce Brothers, who I always mixed up with Dinah Shore. They've got that same blond wave.


Smash (spoiler): I'm sort of waiting for the unthinkable to happen, like maybe Debra Messing makes out with the last person she should be with, the Simon Cowell guy. Don't think the chemistry's working with Jessie Martin (though I adore him). He and Ivy are so over even though she's preggers.

TG and I are going to France...

Oui, Celine Dion and I Are Prequetically za Sem Personne

Not only can she and I speak le French but she also had to cancel some Vegas shows due to a pesky throat virus. It's a sad day for Vegas and Dish--especially since it's been confirmed TG loves Sandra Bullock and not so much Julia Roberts. We watched Miss Congeniality (yes, Hershey, I noticed BB's rocket-fueled pig nipples in the pool) and TG laughed and laughed at Sandy's antics. Well, I just ordered the possibly sh*tty seemingly straight-to-DVD Fireflies in the Garden so he'll be swallowing those words pronto. Where else can we watch the agony Julia must have felt to play Ryan Reynolds's MOTHERRRRRR???

Once you have/appear on a reality show, you show the world your desperation to be rediscovered. And so, Jack Wagner, Sherri Shepard, and Melissa Gilbert have joined Dancing with the Stars. I love these three but would rather see them do a Lifetime movie and, you know, act.

I leave you with Joan Rivers dishing to Baba on vagina surgery. I'd watch either of these two jezebels on DWTS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoQV7NLVojM.