How Do The Stars Cope With Stress?

If only I knew how Julia or Sandra or Nicole dealt with stress, maybe it would help me. Dish tends to stop eating and sleeping at the merest twitch in the universe. I haven't eaten a full meal in four days. No pills help during agita (though my agita tends to be small potatoes). The whole Rx-booze way of coping seems so mundane and TMZ--though I am guilty of the easy way out sometimes. So what do celebrities do when they really lose their sh*t and need some courage?

I hear Jennifer Aniston hates to fly, and yet she does. How does she get herself on the plane? Adele has terrible anxiety before her performances--so how does she do it? I don't have challenges nearly as big and yet such little things make me crumble. The big things, well, I tend to breeze through them (i.e. public speaking, dentistry, death). All stress-relieving anecdotes and suggestions welcome--as long as not the usual "lots of exercise and fresh veggies." I already do this. And the fish oil, magnesium, manicures, meditation. Maybe a lot of $$$ and vacation would help.

My go-to cure for stress is to watch the stars in action. When I befriended Frank Miller many years ago, he seemed a reclusive type but lots of fun out on the town. I asked him, "How do you go out and appear in public at events?" He responded that he had to invent a new personality for himself.

Ergo, to alleviate stress, one needs to act, i.e. be a celebrity. Problem solved.

Oh...and Duran Duran relieves my stress almost instantly. Their songs will be covered on Glee April 10th, which is also Steven Seagal's birthday, in case you were wondering.

Oui, Celine Dion and I Are Prequetically za Sem Personne

Not only can she and I speak le French but she also had to cancel some Vegas shows due to a pesky throat virus. It's a sad day for Vegas and Dish--especially since it's been confirmed TG loves Sandra Bullock and not so much Julia Roberts. We watched Miss Congeniality (yes, Hershey, I noticed BB's rocket-fueled pig nipples in the pool) and TG laughed and laughed at Sandy's antics. Well, I just ordered the possibly sh*tty seemingly straight-to-DVD Fireflies in the Garden so he'll be swallowing those words pronto. Where else can we watch the agony Julia must have felt to play Ryan Reynolds's MOTHERRRRRR???

Once you have/appear on a reality show, you show the world your desperation to be rediscovered. And so, Jack Wagner, Sherri Shepard, and Melissa Gilbert have joined Dancing with the Stars. I love these three but would rather see them do a Lifetime movie and, you know, act.

I leave you with Joan Rivers dishing to Baba on vagina surgery. I'd watch either of these two jezebels on DWTS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoQV7NLVojM.

End of the Year Divorces!

Just in time for New Years: Kobe Bryant's wife filed for divorce, allegedly fed up with his cheating. No prenup. I hope she gets gazillions and keeps the consensual-sex-with-someone-else-apology ring. Deion Sanders is also getting divorced. What's the basic rule of life again? Never marry an athlete. At least Derek Jeter doesn't wed his babes but gives them an autographed baseball, according to The Post.

Sandra Bullock is back in a movie I have no desire to see, a first since The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Extremely Close and Insufferably Far or something like that seems to be about a kid with his deceased father's key who goes looking for a lock and meets colorful people along the way. Sandra cries. In this interview, she looks very beautiful...but the face is frozen: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/16/sandra-bullock-on-extremely-loud-incredibly-close_n_1153872.html?ref=entertainment. Is this sleep deprivation from getting Louis down for his nap or Botox? Tried to sneak in a viewing of Two Weeks Notice tonight but TG wasn't having it. He loathes Hugh Grant.

Tonight I learned from an informed source that Robert Urich was a super-nice guy. He and Michael Landon WERE the 80s. Back to watching The Help, which is really slow with some touching moments. Mostly slow. Bryce Dallas Howard and Viola Davis are brilliant.

A Good Day for Preggos, Stoners and Fiancees!

First the good news: Anne Hathaway got engaged to some guy after three years of dating. Remember her awful swindling ex who might still be in jail? It takes a while to get over that. Maggie Gyllenhaal is knocked up big-time, like about six months gone. Cheers to her and Peter Skarsgaard. Oh wait. Not sure that's his last name but we all know who we're talking about.

I'll address the elephant in the room. Eva Mendes + Ryan Gosling canoodling all over Paris. What the hell? Maybe it's just nookie because I just don't feel the love here. Eva needs older businessman whereas Ryan, well, I want him back with Sandy Bullock. Hot stuff!

Spiderman's Tobey Maguire aka Squeaky McGee is paying up in the poker suit. Whatever that means! Dish doesn't understand the obsession with this game. It's a lose lose. Look what it did to Omar Shariff in Funny Girl.

Miley Cyrus admitted she's a stoner. Dude!

The Post's Andrea Peyser wrote a blood-boiling piece about Natalie Wood: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/starlight_blinded_justice_MnE19Wywfd6GrilUR4LopJ. I don't always agree with Peyser but this time, I'm right behind her. Free Natalie's spirit!

Glamorous Dish

As I write this, I have a hot compress under my right eye which is fostering a freakish clogged duct just in time for Halloween. The doctor says I have to just wait and heat it and the swelling will go down. I've tried to go out in public but, as Kramer says, I'm hideous. No eyeliner or mascara. I hope within a week, I can return to thick swipes of black goo on my lashes and under my eyes. Just like Cleopatra.

It's been a slow gossip day except NewDishfriend went to Duran Duran in Chicago and Simon Le Bon kissed her hand. My mind can't even grasp this but it's clear she's been blessed for life. TG and I just watched Cedar Rapids and I want to know if the fart John C. Reilly lit at the end was real. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds were seen canoodling and Sandra Bullock was in close proximity. Three-way?