Stealing Mom's Clothes: Inappropriate or Awesome?

So, in the latest Keeping Up with the Kardashians, little Kylie and Kendall steal from their mom's closet. Kris gets all parenty about it and institutes a "library" system with the teens taking her duds. I'm sorry but stealing from your mom's closet is not only a pleasure, it's a daughter's RIGHT. Dish has been doing it since she was able to walk.

Say a prayer for Robin Roberts who has her bone marrow transplant this week. Transplants are no joke. They are make or break time. RR is such a delight and we need her back on the air, STAT.

I was sleepless in Seattle again, waking up at 4:59 am. I decided to read my Vanity Fair. All I can say is Holy Hannibal, Tom Cruise and Scientology are just so bananas, I felt like I was reading a movie script or The Handmaiden's Tale. The Master is coming out soon and already the Weinsteins are being harassed by the "church." Go out and get this issue immediately. Also in there is the article by Michael Lewis about Obama.

Has anyone seen Katie Couric's new talk show? I love her, can't wait to see it. On my DVR. Am distracted by TG's entry, introducing a box of wine into our house. All I can think is Kathy Griffin. TIP IT!

By now the news has fully hit that Blake and Ryan are married. What do Scarlett and Leo think??? It's only been 2 years since Ryan and Scarjo divorced. Is this true love?

Did Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds Tie the Knot for Reals?

People just reported this and I'm a little stunned. You have to feel really bad for Blake. First, she has a boy's name. Her luscious locks and long legs help us forget her potentially hidden man parts. But her life keeps getting worse and worse. First, she gets a bland yet starring juicy role on Gossip Girl. Then she dates hunkalicious Penn Badgely (sp?) for years. After they grow out of each other, she rebounds with Leonardo DiCaprio, which is such a trade up. She could have gotten Oscar roles! But no, he just had to move on to another blond. Blake then cries into her beer with funny/hunky/decent actor Ryan Reynolds, who seems way more user friendly and less in love with Scorcese than Leo. I approve this message.

Congrats, you crazy kids! May your children be blond with 6-pack abs.

(I'm not sure I believe this actually happened)

Sleep Groovily, God of Soul Train!

Mr. Soul Train himself Don Cornelius died of an apparent suicide. Who didn't love that show growing up? DC had serious health problems and this was his way out. Sad for him, sadder for his mob of fans. His legend will live on!

In other tragic Nick and Aaron Carter's sister Leslie died at the too-young age of 25. Cause unknown (but I'm reading Rx might be responsible). Lots of cause unknowns out there. Pill popping is an epidemic. Is it worse now than in the Marilyn Monroe/Judy Garland days?

Blake Lively claims she's had 4 boyfriends in her whole life. WHORE!

That's all I have. Back to Prison Break, my new bitch.

Dish Can See Tom Brady Crying

TG is watching the game, which is a manly Sunday thing to do. Football is full of stars, like Gisele who's married to the currently losing quarterback, Tom Brady. The two are both so pretty I hate them. No really, I'm not that petty. TG and I always get this reaction when people see us. I may not look like Gisele in Victoria's Secret, but I can relate to her travails. Beauty X 2 is a curse.

Heidi Klum wins Halloween yet again. She scares me with her Auf Wiederzein, her perfect delivery and those Stepford eyes. Fear of her keeps me from Project Runway and worship of Tim Gunn. Her body costume makes her even more scary to Dish.

Herman Cain: His new campaign ad, showing his campaign manager smoking, has gone viral. Genius! When you don't have money for bloated, corny TV ads, go bananas and outrage the PC police. It's sad we live in a world where a smoker shocks people. Twenty years ago, everyone smoked in movies. Be who you are was the message of the ad and my friends who smoke would love this. Dish smoked for 20 years and even though I can't stand the smell, people DO smoke. I don't care as long as it's not around me. The damage is done and more folks could ride bikes instead of fart around in their cars. Face the Nation's Bob Schieffer got all pissy at Cain for having this smoking in the ad, as if sex and violence on TV weren't as toxic in the media. Cain amuses me. I would never vote for him. His abortion beliefs alone turn me off, but he's fun.

Lindsay finally got her teeth done. And her nose looks different too. It's the Irish nose TG threatens come home with after a two-week trip overseas this coming January.

Fresh from her Leonardo DiCaprio breakup, Blake Lively has allegedly introduced Ryan Reynolds to her family. Ry probably makes her laugh. He does have more star-power now that Leo has gone the Serious Movie route. Wouldn't it be nice if Leo did ONE romantic comedy? J. Edgar looks like a big bore called The Aviator.

Glamorous Dish

As I write this, I have a hot compress under my right eye which is fostering a freakish clogged duct just in time for Halloween. The doctor says I have to just wait and heat it and the swelling will go down. I've tried to go out in public but, as Kramer says, I'm hideous. No eyeliner or mascara. I hope within a week, I can return to thick swipes of black goo on my lashes and under my eyes. Just like Cleopatra.

It's been a slow gossip day except NewDishfriend went to Duran Duran in Chicago and Simon Le Bon kissed her hand. My mind can't even grasp this but it's clear she's been blessed for life. TG and I just watched Cedar Rapids and I want to know if the fart John C. Reilly lit at the end was real. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds were seen canoodling and Sandra Bullock was in close proximity. Three-way?

Why, John Taylor, Why?

Oh, Johns:

It has come to my attention through the press and my posse that John Taylor's autobiography will be published in 2012 by a company other than Dish-Mania, Incorporated, Limited. I want to know, which lucky bitch gets to edit the thing and why wasn't I called first??? I can be a professional and an obsessed fan of 30 years! I would have helped spice up the boring parts--the Metamucil moments--with sordid party tales and outright lies! Because All You Need Is Now.

This made me spit my coffee: Johnny Depp compares photo shoots to being raped. REALLY, Johnny? Do you know what the hell you're talking about? DO YOU??? I respect most of his movie choices but there's a wall now.

Harmony and Disarray: Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel married her boyfriend in Vegas--yay. Leonardo DiCaprio and his gossip girl, Blake Lively, split. They looked fetching together but I didn't see them fitting personality-wise. Because Dish knows them, right? I wonder which beautiful blonde he'll date next.

Hank Williams Jr. football intro pulled after he compares Obama to Hitler. Really, Hank Williams Jr.? Hitler, who killed 6 million Jews, really??? Such idiocy today.

Finally some good news: Chris Christie allegedly not running for president.