Preggo Means No More Tiger Stigma!

Rachel Uchitel ups her game by Tweeting her preggo bod. The world is right again for her now that she's shed her Tiger-mistress skin. It's amazing the many layers of existence.

Speaking of, Anthony Weiner allegedly wanted to have a threesome with another man, according to the woman who came forward about his wang-Tweeting. So this means he's a little gay too? Maybe just gay-adjacent and not ashamed to be naked in a sexual way with another man. I dig that. I wonder what it's gonna take for the wife to leave. Not recycling?

Still-kinda-cool rock star Steven Tyler proposed to his somewhat age-appropriate and pretty GF but family is supposedly not happy. They've been together five years so Dish is fine with it. Not everyone has to love each other. It only matters that Steven is happy and keeps creating weirdisms on American Idol. He rocks!

Not-funny Russell Brand and awesome songstress Katy Perry spent Christmas apart and the splitsville rumors abound! Guys, you cannot divorce after having a lavish wedding. Oh wait...yes you can (KK)!

Why, John Taylor, Why?

Oh, Johns:

It has come to my attention through the press and my posse that John Taylor's autobiography will be published in 2012 by a company other than Dish-Mania, Incorporated, Limited. I want to know, which lucky bitch gets to edit the thing and why wasn't I called first??? I can be a professional and an obsessed fan of 30 years! I would have helped spice up the boring parts--the Metamucil moments--with sordid party tales and outright lies! Because All You Need Is Now.

This made me spit my coffee: Johnny Depp compares photo shoots to being raped. REALLY, Johnny? Do you know what the hell you're talking about? DO YOU??? I respect most of his movie choices but there's a wall now.

Harmony and Disarray: Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel married her boyfriend in Vegas--yay. Leonardo DiCaprio and his gossip girl, Blake Lively, split. They looked fetching together but I didn't see them fitting personality-wise. Because Dish knows them, right? I wonder which beautiful blonde he'll date next.

Hank Williams Jr. football intro pulled after he compares Obama to Hitler. Really, Hank Williams Jr.? Hitler, who killed 6 million Jews, really??? Such idiocy today.

Finally some good news: Chris Christie allegedly not running for president.