Demi to Get Her Groove Back

Yesterday Demi Moore was rushed to the hospital for "exhaustion" and other medical issues. I'm tired too! The gossips are fueling the fire with reports of anorexia (um, duh--but could be situational), an epileptic seizure (didn't know that), does she miss being married to David Arquette, and was substance abuse involved, specifically whip-its? The real problem is that Dish isn't there to scoop up these over-40 female celebs and plop them into my new school:

The Academy for Female Celebs Who Can't Cope with Being Over the Hill in Hollywood AFCWCCBOTHH.

My first pupils would be Heather Locklear, Courtney Love (though she's needed this since her 20s), and Demi Moore. Here are some courses:

Reinvention 101: Do as Madonna does just with a little more substance and without the ropey arms.
Substance Use in Moderation: Sometimes you might need a glass of Pinot or a Xanax, just don't take 5.
Too Much Botox Means No Oscar: But fab for reality show? What will make you famouser? Discuss.
Sexy at Any Age: Guest lectures by Jacqueline Bissett and Helen Mirren.

Dish watched The Ides of March. It's pretty good, compact, delivers a not-so-subtle message against repubs and dems, George Clooney is charming, Evan Rachel Wood and Ryan Gosling are brilliant. Hopeful politico becomes jaded and finds a way to use the system, hence why Washington is broken. Not so Oscar-ish.

A Good Day for Preggos, Stoners and Fiancees!

First the good news: Anne Hathaway got engaged to some guy after three years of dating. Remember her awful swindling ex who might still be in jail? It takes a while to get over that. Maggie Gyllenhaal is knocked up big-time, like about six months gone. Cheers to her and Peter Skarsgaard. Oh wait. Not sure that's his last name but we all know who we're talking about.

I'll address the elephant in the room. Eva Mendes + Ryan Gosling canoodling all over Paris. What the hell? Maybe it's just nookie because I just don't feel the love here. Eva needs older businessman whereas Ryan, well, I want him back with Sandy Bullock. Hot stuff!

Spiderman's Tobey Maguire aka Squeaky McGee is paying up in the poker suit. Whatever that means! Dish doesn't understand the obsession with this game. It's a lose lose. Look what it did to Omar Shariff in Funny Girl.

Miley Cyrus admitted she's a stoner. Dude!

The Post's Andrea Peyser wrote a blood-boiling piece about Natalie Wood: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/starlight_blinded_justice_MnE19Wywfd6GrilUR4LopJ. I don't always agree with Peyser but this time, I'm right behind her. Free Natalie's spirit!