Dish Has Strep

Jealous?

I've been too busy showing off my new squeaky voice to follow the stars. But I did find a few gems. Country legend Randy Travis was busted for DWI...naked. Living out of the limelight can be crushing. Maybe he could write a country song about the experience. Superskinnygorgeousblondactress Kate Bosworth, who made most people furious with her dating Alex Skarshunk, got engaged to director Michael Polish. Sometimes you just know. Right, Kate? Now get her bony ass out of my sight.

Joan Rivers proved herself a genius workhorse once again by staging a big hissy at Costco because the superstore didn't carry her book. This hissy boosted her book sales. Dishfriend read the book and said it was just too damn mean.

Just now, TG pointed to the screen during a televised celebrity party and said, "There's Icky Marmain!" For two seconds, Dish thought this was a real person. He tortures me.

Oui, Celine Dion and I Are Prequetically za Sem Personne

Not only can she and I speak le French but she also had to cancel some Vegas shows due to a pesky throat virus. It's a sad day for Vegas and Dish--especially since it's been confirmed TG loves Sandra Bullock and not so much Julia Roberts. We watched Miss Congeniality (yes, Hershey, I noticed BB's rocket-fueled pig nipples in the pool) and TG laughed and laughed at Sandy's antics. Well, I just ordered the possibly sh*tty seemingly straight-to-DVD Fireflies in the Garden so he'll be swallowing those words pronto. Where else can we watch the agony Julia must have felt to play Ryan Reynolds's MOTHERRRRRR???

Once you have/appear on a reality show, you show the world your desperation to be rediscovered. And so, Jack Wagner, Sherri Shepard, and Melissa Gilbert have joined Dancing with the Stars. I love these three but would rather see them do a Lifetime movie and, you know, act.

I leave you with Joan Rivers dishing to Baba on vagina surgery. I'd watch either of these two jezebels on DWTS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoQV7NLVojM.

And the Nominees Are...

...not surprising, especially that Leonardo DiCaprio was shut out yet again! Why oh why, though, are there so many Best Picture nominees? Is it to please the whole child? Is this the new No Film Left Behind program? BARF!

Speaking of which...we're feeling better. Fever gone down but for a good day I was like Kate Winslet in Sense and Sensibility--sweating and pale after Willoughby spurns her advances.

As I convalesced, I watched the following:

Untouchable: The Drew Peterson Story--Worst thing Rob Lowe has ever done. He should never have quit The West Wing.

Sexting in Suburbia--Teen girl texts her naked self to ahole BF and it spreads. Bullying ensues, she hangs herself, Mom is pissed. Unwatchable!

I Don't Know How She Does It: SJP is a delight and lights up a screen. The message, however, is that stay-at-home moms suck and worker-moms are the real heroes of parenting. I was pissed and I don't have kids. Great minor roles played by Olivia Munn, Pierce Brosnan and Christina Hendricks.

Anderson: Anderson Cooper's talk show on "Purity balls". Worth it just to hear him keep saying "Purity balls" and "balls."

Learned also that Tim Gunn has been celibate for 29 years. No wonder he gets so much done!!!

Last bit from the Perez Hilton. Dish is also on Team Joan, forever: