Snooki Is a Mom

I haven't broken the news to TG, that Snooki had a baby boy. His little girl is all grown up, a mama herself. The lambs are screaming in my head. I think she might be a good mother, after all.

Snooki named her boy Lorenzo. Reminds Dish fondly of the Oberlin, Ohio pizza joint by the same name. It added to my Freshman 15, making my ass into a large, flat caboose. Lorenzo's (and pitchers of Killian's Red) got me through college in the Ohio cornfields. Translating passages of Cicero also helped. I had to throw that in there, didn't I? Money well spent, Dishmama!

Florida is having a hurricane, postponing the Republican Convention. Randy Travis is melting down faster than you can say Wild Turkey. Duran Duran canceled another mega-gig due to illness. My hair is frizzier than ever. Mother Nature is PISSED off about something. I'm sticking 80% dark chocolate on my window sill so she leaves me the f*ck alone -- with all due respect.

Mentionitis: Duran Duran never cancels so keyboardist must be sick as a dog. Because I'm Dish, I can't help but think my panicked vibes from Friday caused this. I feel terrible about letting down the fans.

Dish Has Strep

Jealous?

I've been too busy showing off my new squeaky voice to follow the stars. But I did find a few gems. Country legend Randy Travis was busted for DWI...naked. Living out of the limelight can be crushing. Maybe he could write a country song about the experience. Superskinnygorgeousblondactress Kate Bosworth, who made most people furious with her dating Alex Skarshunk, got engaged to director Michael Polish. Sometimes you just know. Right, Kate? Now get her bony ass out of my sight.

Joan Rivers proved herself a genius workhorse once again by staging a big hissy at Costco because the superstore didn't carry her book. This hissy boosted her book sales. Dishfriend read the book and said it was just too damn mean.

Just now, TG pointed to the screen during a televised celebrity party and said, "There's Icky Marmain!" For two seconds, Dish thought this was a real person. He tortures me.

M.I.A. is Genius!!!

As we watched the halftime show, TG asked, "Who're the other singers?" I told him about Nicki Minaj and M.I.A, a little reminiscent of Madonna's VMA appearance with Britney and Christina. Everyone talked about Madonna Frenching Britney and no one cared that she'd also kissed Aguilera. This time the lesser goddess M.I.A stole Nicki's thunder and flashed her middle finger on TV. Now everyone is talking about her! Hurray for the young who have absolutely no manners--flip off everyone, text at all times and be rude to their elders and don't care! M.I.A.'s stock just went up and I couldn't be more in awe. Dish is going to moon everyone in Chelsea and shout a hair-raising "EFF YOU" in the middle of Eighth Avenue. I'll be an overnight sensation! Moms beware!

Verdict on the halftime show: I've heard lots o' Madonna dissing, saying she's lost it (you try flipping around in stilettos at 52). Sure she lip-synched and didn't seem all that comfortable, but I bet if you were in the Superbowl itself, it was awesome. I've never seen the Material Girl smile so much. Love the gay gladiators and the Cleo reference and you gotta love a choir. One of the better halftime shows and they generally are lame anyway.

Re: Giants win. A part of me is experiencing Schadenfreude over beautiful people losing but I agree with Gisele that her husband couldn't f*cking throw and catch the ball. TG and I were saying "butterfingers!" an awful lot last night at Patriot fumbles.

In other news, Randy Travis arrested for public intoxication, caught with a bottle of wine outside a church. Poetry.