The Mexican

FYI: This flick is almost unwatchable. I'm not even sure I understand the story. It's about a gun, there's a curse, she's kidnapped a few times, and Brad and Julia spend very little time on screen together. We see no bow-chicka-bow-bow.

I only have three observations besides the obvious one that Julia seems so happy during filming since this is where she met cameraman Danny Moder:

1. Julia hurls in the flick. She doesn't vomit much in movies--and you mostly just see her running to the bathroom or is leaning out of a car. The only other time she yakks is in America's Sweethearts when she eats too many carbs.

2. Great chemistry between Julia and Tony Soprano. I kept wanting THEM to kiss even though he's supposed to play gay (I don't buy it). They probably made him gay to offset their mutual sparks.

3. Brad excels at playing a dumbass.

I'm So Confused--Are Ashton and Demi Back Together?

There's talk of secret meetings. New vows of love. I was just getting used to Demi Moore forging ahead, finding her womanity after the demise of her third marriage. I fantasized about her going on The Conversation and Wendy Williams a few times, being all strong yet vulnerable with her glasses, eyes filling because some love never dies. She would go on to make millions producing films and do the occasional Margin Call. She and Courtney Cox would morph into one person.

As for Ashton, he's starting to look like a man. Before the split he resembled the college student I always yearned to date in my teens but didn't until my mid thirties. He has all these great projects in his future. Does he want to go back?

More importantly, I was just getting over this breakup, so the alleged reunion takes me by surprise. I would rather they get back together but there isn't enough Ativan in the world to ease the stress I'll feel day by day (are they okay, having fun, is he hanging with skanky blondes in bars? did they go to their Kaballah meeting). After 7 years, they do seem to have a special kind of love. Fret not. I will buckle down, get out the scotch, and pray that they rediscover the joy in their marriage.

One must always look to Danny Moder and Julia Roberts for marriage spice. They leave "angel cards" for each other around the house. Must get on the stick and do likewise. What is an angel card and how do I find one? Does it fly?

Rumors are a-swirl about Britney reviving crazy behavior on The X Factor. Doing this show might have been a mistake, though the whispers of old Brit might be Simon-hype to bring in viewers. Britney seems to excel in 10-minute increments and judging takes hours and hours. Poor girl.

Congratulations to Cynthia Nixon and Christine Marinoni on their marriage. I love these two gingies.