Fifty Shades of Awesome Casting!

Even though I only got through 100 pages of Fifty Shades of Grey, I desperately wanted for Robert Pattinson not to be cast--just because I don't think he's right for this part. The big headline today is not Syria (okay, it is) or the unmarked grave of countless abused boys at a Florida school. It's that Charlie Hunnam, the blond god from Sons of Anarchy was cast as Christian Grey--brilliant (just as with Ben Affleck as Batman--Dish approves!). Dakota Johnson, doubly-blessed by being the offspring of 2 celebrities (Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson) will play Anastasia. I remember when Dakota was born, which makes me feel older than dirt.

Over the weekend, Lamar Odom, in his continuing downward spiral, was busted for DUI. It's sad that this happens in the public eye--sad that I can't stop reading about it. We all hope he gets back on his feet, off the floor, out of the road, off the crack, and back on the court again.

TG and I viewed The Life of Pi, which caused me to sob convulsively. The whole movie made me uncomfortable the way Titanic did, i.e. I probably drowned in another life, but then when you make a CGI animal suffer, I'm a mess. Somehow, I got through it and now TG has points for enduring my weep-fest.

Hurray to Diana Nyad who swam from Cuba to Key West! I remember her first attempt. Now that's a substantial accomplishment.

I'm Sorry, Michael Chiklis...

...for thinking you were lame. I only saw trailers for The Shield and avoided it like the plague of shaved-headed men I dated around the time the show aired (2002-2006), the era of Vin Diesel's Ugly Sexy. Yes, there were four in a row, all toxic bachelors. How many hours did I cry over a bottle of Mr. Clean? You can't blame me for projecting all these years. Add to this, Chiklis was filmed reacting to an Emmy nod. This sent me into an abyss of irrational hatred. But now, as my husband encourages nightly Shield marathons, I see the genius in Chiklis. There is no show without him. He's just awesome and the camera eats him up. We're on Season 5. I can't bear to think what we'll do when we get to the end. I was wrong. All wrong...Chiklis FOREVER!

More word-eating. Maybe Les Miz won't be so bad...Check out this trailer and let me know your thoughts. I wonder if Anne and Hugh singing at the Oscars started this whole thing in one of those back door meetings. I could make jokes but I won't. Russell is in the room.

Last night, Dishbrother and I had an in-depth conversation about Ashton as Steve Jobs. DB has high hopes that if Ashton can access his "dark side", he will be brilliant. DB is a tough customer when it comes to acting. He's the first to make me realize that Daniel Day Lewis is an over-actor. DB and I would be masterful casting agents.

I lost interest in Fifty Shades of Grey the second after Anastasia Beaverhausen Steele's first big O. I see the appeal but, as an editor, there are too many glaring items I'd want to fix. Am going back to reading great literature (and a celebrity memoir or two--Patti Lupone, you're next!).

Dish Is Turning Fifty Shades of Red!

Ya know, the author makes some mistakes with language and lofty prose it ain't, but I'm there. As TG snored lightly beside me, I devoured the latest literary trend--and I can't wait to return to it. I get why Fifty Shades of Grey is steaming up ereaders across the world. I haven't reached any firecrotch scenes yet but already the building of virginal attraction has me hooked--and erotica usually bores me! Finally, an overnight sensation I can buy into. Twilight and Hunger Games left this dish cold.

Speaking of...boo, North Carolina.

Yay: Sofia Vergara is single. TG and I love to watch her boobs on Modern Family. They just spill out everywhere and it makes us laugh. She's so talented--even with the boobs. I'm sure she'll be off the market in seconds, though something tells me she needs an interesting bloke to keep her attention. Not just anyone will do.

Now receipts and photographic evidence have surfaced of Travolta not in the place in question on the date of alleged masseur abuse. To me, the photo looks poorly shopped -- like Kate's face in Titanic as she's riding the wave down the hallway. But maybe I just need bifocals progressive lenses. This situation is like Mt. Vesuvius.

I called someone a c-word today, but behind its back. This is what will happen if you mess with Dish!

Duran Duran Playing for the Summer Olympics!

They never go away, nor would we ever want them to vanish from our ecstatic landscapes. Dish might be away on business during this event, but I'll DVR it. Duran Duran and Daniel Craig appearing during the summer Olympics--this could exacerbate my mitral valve prolapse*.

Dish's funny of the day: Ellen reading the latest craze: Fifty Shades of Grey. I have this on my Kindle app on my iPad--how's that for dirty?

Yesterday, Ryan O'Neal was everywhere. This hasn't happened since a recent Bones marathon and I liked him on this show. He seems so fake in interviews. What a messed up family--and it didn't have to be. He claims to have been a bad father...and Dish doesn't feel sad for him, because the focus is still on him. Maybe I'm too close to this issue. Instead of writing a book, why not spend time with those kids? I know about 2% of the story, if that, and I do own The Main Event, but still, this skeeves me out. I wish him well in his recovery and that he is able to heal his relationships with his children. That is the most important thing.

I had a moment of weakness today where I looked up plastic surgery of the stars. They've all had at least a nose job. My friend L. was right--they have to. It's an investment. Did not see Julia on the list but does that mean she hasn't gotten a prick or two of the pig toxin?

The Bachelor/ette/Pad Chris Harrison is splitting with his wife of 18 years. What happened? He seemed like the most serene person on Earth. Maybe he is. The tabs say it's super-amicable. Groovy, kids!

*I noticed an irregular heartbeat after nine months of smoking unfiltered Gauloises.