What Did You Think of Last Night's Desperate Housewives?

I won't give away what happened, but let's just say Dish has waited for this character to get killed off for years. He or she was nice enough but who wants real life on their televisions? Now, if only a few more would die. Bring back Gale Harold and Nicollette!

It seems Halle Berry is really engaged to her Frenchie Olivier Martinez who used to date Kylie Minogue. We all remember him as the one who brought desperate housewife Diane Lane back to sexual arousal and then he got clocked with a snow globe by Richard Gere. Congrats, you crazy enfants!

So, Jon Hamm called Kim Kardashian an effing idiot and she called him "careless" for dissing her. I swear, Twitter and FB has made it impossible to talk bitchily behind someone's back.

Okay, I'm watching The Bachelor. Must watch Ben make the biggest mistake of his life.

Dish's New 2012 Diet!

TG and I might have reached a new low (or is it high)as I ate macaroni & cheese while watching him do his ab workout while he watched Jail, a self-explanatory reality show. Guess who's lost two pounds? Me!

Don't Buy Gifts Just Yet: Halle Berry is not engaged! She and Olivier are just going steady. Hurry up, Halle. You don't want to keep us from speculating further on your relationship, do you? And what's the latest on Johnny/Vanessa? It's been days since we saw the shocking photos of Vanessa without makeup, allegedly wan from the misery of a Depp-less day.

Kardashian/Beyonce drama continues with no good outcome. The Khloe Kardashian paternity issue is vile. I wouldn't wish that rumor on those I hate most but it's juicy controversy that comes at a fascinating time. No doubt Khloe will show us her resilience on an ep of Khloe & Lamar. As for the Blue Ivy birthing, I'm sure there was a big production. Beyon-Z are laughing all the way to the bank with the new baby-inspired song. I would gladly hire them to manage my 401K.

Dish signed up for Mama Gena's NYC class in February. Just a lark for this uptight New England WASP. Am envisioning coconut bras, celebrating my inner goddess and stuffing dollar-bills down my own pants. Can't wait!

My good deed for the day: 1 Chapter of Wheelock's Latin. Bad deed: Pretending cat hurl behind the couch doesn't exist.

Kardashian Bombshell That Seems Kinda Malish

The tabloids suddenly and inexplicably seem fixated on the possibility that Khloe Kardashian, the scary and least robotic one, is not biologically a Kardashian. If I were Khloe, I'd be enraged but also not surprised--since all bets are off when you're a K. On the bright side, she's richer than the people reporting these awful things. The rumors might be originating from Robert Kardashian's last wife who also spewed that Bruce Jenner cross-dresses. As if this will get me out of bed in the morning. Give me something *really* scandalous -- like photographic evidence that Bruce and Kris still do it.

In a related note, God Bryan Ferry got married to a sweet young lass. More than this? There's nothing. Well, except this clip, which made me cry despite off key. Think it was the sequins: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5JyHrqLJNk&list=FLgKF76xPBOTIX6LFpyz2cwA&index=61&feature=plpp_video.

Halle Berry is engaged to Olivier Martinez, but those pesky French boys, so secretive. He popped the question six months ago. Remember when Richard Gere clocked him in Unfaithful? Maybe I need to stop watching Snapped.

Which reminds me, Revenge. Just started watching, thanks to two gay male friends who say it's "The Best". I have misgivings when a series begins with a voice-over, "When I was a little girl..." Pointy-nosed-actress from Brothers & Sisters gives me a dull gut ache but I'm willing to get through a few eps.

So, Bill O'Reilly having NYPD spy on his wife to see if she's cheating? If true, love is alive on Fox!