Get Into the Pleasure Groove (Mixed Madonna/John Taylor Metaphor!)

This book came out in October. Since I spent a few years (10) obsessed with John Taylor, you'd think I'd have used my connections I don't have any to get an advanced copy. I even signed up for his reading in New York--but didn't go. The book sat on my reading table for months. I dreaded reading it. What if it was ... bad? I already had a depressing DD concert experience at Foxwoods, realizing I'm just not cool enough to be in the DD inner circle. Why do more?

I took a leap of faith. I read the first page, then the next. Then the chapters couldn't go by fast enough. Sure, JT had help sculpting the prose, but the voice was so clever I'm so British with memories lovingly rendered. DishNarcissism took over in some places and I made connections to what I was going through at the same time! Oh sure, Antigua. I remember that. Didn't you guys get sick on that boat? Why did you and Renee break up? Oh right, I remember now. Really, you actually walked by Bryan Ferry? How awesome is that. It was a nice blast from the past.

The best part about this autobiography for me was how he got sober. It all seemed very civilized and under the radar. No ODing in a hotel room or accidentally shooting himself in the hand. He was just f*cked up for too long. He went to rehab, done, and developed ways of coping that don't involve being on TV 24/7. Anyway, it was inspiring to me. A must read for anyone who loves Duran Duran--which is most people.

Golden Globes - 1 Day

Apologies for last night. I was with Dishfriendsincediapers, introducing her to the glory that is Jersey Boys (my 7th time, ushers still aren't impressed). John Lloyd Young (aka Dishmama's imaginary boyfriend) returned as Frankie. The show was such fun as usual and Dishfriendsincediapers now understands my mania. It is now hers. Alas, I'm going to be more conservative and go only if absolutely necessary for mood boost possibly next month.

Then today I went to see Chicago because Dishbrotherfriend Ray Bokhour is playing Amos, Roxy's husband. What a great show and Dishbrotherfriend brought the house down with "Mr. Cellophane." The two female leads were also jaw-droppingly amazing. All those foxy Fosse dancers made me want to hit the gym even harder after I eat this pain au chocolat. Can't wait to see it again!

Some big star news: Britney and Jason are no more. This worries me. Who's going to prop Britney up? Dish is volunteering, though Brit would have to move to NYC (Linds is coming too--I could start a day care). I've already started developing lesson plans. Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde are engaged--congrats, can see this. And, everyone is saying that Lance will come clean to Oprah about doping on Monday. I am setting my DVR to "pigs flying out of hell." Oops, sorry, no room, Oprah--The Bachelor and Real Housewives and Bones take precedence. 

Well, tonight I'm just going to keep reading In the Pleasure Groove by Duran Duran's John Taylor. It's addictive! Maybe with all the chapters on his coking out, I'm getting contact coke high? Cannot wait for the section on when John Taylor and Amanda de Cadenet become Mr. and Mrs. Too Gorgeous for Words!

Golden Globes tomorrow. Will miss politically incorrect Ricky Gervais.

I may not have made it to John Taylor's signing today...

...but this nugget arrived just in time to prevent my nervous breakdown. Maybe I'll meet Duran Duran in the next life. My love is eternal.

All I need is now.

Not Going to JT's Book Signing?

Say it ain't so, Dish! I fear the idea of long lines and no autograph, the hours of waiting have influenced my decision to absent myself from John Taylor's In the Pleasure Groove book signing on Tuesday 10/16 at B&N. It's excruciatingly appropriate my name is Patience. Plus, I'm metaphorically getting screwed up the ass with twenty dry dildos* in a different life sector. I must stay alert, like Jason Bourne. If I had a VIP pass, I'd be at JT's signing in a nanosecond, but no, 30 years of adoration later, I'm still waiting in lines.

It's time for me to be a diva.

*Sorry, Mom and Aunties.

Will I Get John Taylor's Autograph...

...if I stubbornly arrive half an hour before his reading on 10/16 at Barnes & Nobles? I *love* Duran Duran. I love John Taylor. I want to read his book and for me it's a write-off. But I refuse to wait 10 hours for a sh*tty place in line because I'm 44!!! Dish needs her beauty sleep and has been uncomfortable enough in her life. Judging from all the chatter on DD fan boards, I'm pretty well screwed for even getting a place in line for his reading. If only I could have flaunted my work in publishing but I haven't got time for the pain. Help!
 
My health this week hasn't been optimum, possibly because I'm so nervous about tonight's debate. Or I've had two mac and cheese nights in a row and bagels and mashed potatoes. Did I mention the chocolate gorging? Maybe too much self-reward for running 6 miles on Monday...

MacKenzie Phillips was one scary bitch on last night's Criminal Minds. She was my favorite on One Day at a Time--though I love my Valerie Bertinelli (thin or fat), too. Ever since she aired all her dirty laundry, I wondered when Mac-Phil would get back to acting, like in those fun cameo roles. Now here she is! I hope she keeps at it. She's an awesome villain.

Big Bird is so pissed at Mitt Romney! Watch here.



Today's King of Style and Substance: Jack White

Star Sighting--John Larroquette!!!

4:32pm on the Uptown 1 train, wearing a white t-shirt and sunglasses, spotted by Dishbrother. "He looked like a schlump yet somehow put together." We categorized Larroquette as one of those guys, like Bill Maher: kinda gross yet perversely sexy, as in we can't tear our eyes from them. Night Court rules!

Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong is in rehab after losing his marbles at a concert. Dish wonders...which substance did him in? Was he acting like an American Idiot?

Look both ways before crossing: Amanda Bynes is now in NYC--as is Lindsay Lohan. I don't feel safe. Will carry my treasured copies of  What a Girl Wants and The Parent Trap to indicate my fandom. Would never ever film either girl running over my foot.

Because I'm me: Yes, I'm taking a vacation to go to John Taylor's NYC book signing for: In the Pleasure Groove: Life, Death and Duran Duran. Here's a question: What time do I arrive at the event? Ideally, an hour before it starts, but have feeling it will be mobbed. Even so, I can't be bothered with camping out. I've read that some are going to do this. I love John Taylor. I love myself more. What would you do, dear reader?

In the Pleasure Groove: Love, Death and Duran Duran

You're a thief, John Taylor. This was the title of MY autobiography and now that's f*cked. How could you extract my creative property and use it as your own? Le Bon did this repeatedly with lyrics such as "shake up the picture, the lizard mixture" and "my head is full of chopstick, I don't like it." Okay, maybe I'll let someone AGAIN have priority over my brilliant words, I guess. Officially and seriously, yes, the above is the title of Duran Duran bassist object of Dish fantasies 1983-1984, 1986-1989 John Taylor's autobiography coming out in September/October. A pleasure indeed for Dish and all Duran-aholics! Is it possible to pre-order six months in advance? I'll buy a hardcover and won't even declare it as a tax write-off.

Oh god. I didn't even think that there might be author signings. Room spinning.

*ka-thud*