Flirting with Dish...

...who burnt the end of her middle finger while ironing shirts. Now on CSI and Law & Order, they won't be able to find my criminal record in a database. After my weekend in Albany visiting Superman's natural habitat and meeting Jor-el (who bounces his knee spastically the same way Superman does), Dish is finally settled in for a peaceful week. Funny tidbit--in Bridget Jones fashion, I watched Superman sleep on the train (he always seems to fall asleep in moving vehicles). I took it a step further and snapped pictures of the superhero snoring and drooling all through the Hudson Valley. I was tempted to draw on a mustache just as Ross did to Rachel on Friends when they were flying to Vegas.

The real news: I saw Flirting with Forty and had a terrible time reconciling Heather's real age with that of her heroine. I love Heather but it might have been more interesting to have her be 50. The surfer-dude leading man was hunky and nice, but just not great enough for Heather. What's the message? That older women can snag younger men, too? Or that older women can settle, too? Or that we can have fun even while on the brink of death? I wasn't quite sure. And I resented that poor Heather had to do all the traveling to tryst with Mr. Abs-of-Steel. I don't recommend it (but will secretly watch again).

Tonight and the rest of the week--am catching up with Mad Men and falling more deeply in love with Jon Hamm.

4 Minutes to Save the World

Dish has seconds to post. I'm at Superman's and he's busy doing something OCD (cleaning with bathroom tile Q-Tip). My news: Do we really believe A-Rod and Madonna are just friends? Everyone is just friends. Isn't it nice to have a friend? I'd like to befriend all sorts of people.

Major monkey wrench is Dish's plans to see Heather Locklear in Flirting with Forty. I wonder if they'll play it endlessly on Lifetime?

Star Sighting

Spotted at Viceroy this afternoon: Mr. Twinkles here getting fluffed and powdered for a photoshoot. Love it when commentators go glam and fake introspective. Gotta look stunning and young when you're smart (Hello, intemellectual Samantha chick who posed for Vogue and called Hillary a monster). Course, I don't fill my empty head with Mike Barnicle's commentaries. I am above all just a silly girl with no ambition.
Who needs MSNBC when you've got the blinding sun of Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly in a movie together? I thought I would die of beauty-overload when Jennifer and Russell Crowe shared the spotlight in A Beautiful Mind. No, this is far worse. I have my shades ready for The Day the Earth Stood Still. Could be a Matrix-stealing sh*t sandwich, but I'm so there with my sunglasses. Question is: Which one would I marry first--Jennifer or Keanu?

Oops

Just ignore when Dish gets maudlin (see below). It's really that I'm fearful of new places. Tonight's discovery: The Bronx is FABULOUS! What helped: Channeling Jenny from the Block. Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got... But if you've got rocks, def go to Roberto's on Crescent Avenue. Excellent Italian food (and hot waiters that belong on the cover of romance novels). All bad thoughts forgotten (red wine helps).

Flirting with 100

If Dish makes it out of the Bronx alive tonight, Heather Locklear's new Lifetime movie Flirting with Forty will be a source of delight on Saturday. Not only to see her cheek implants and/or Botox, but because Dish loves Heather and supports her through this rough period. Suffice it to say, especially now, I understand the feeling that nothing ever works out--everyone else moves on and drifts away. Wouldn't it be nice if we sad remainders could take a vacation and have a good-looking zygote flirt with us? It's a white How Stella Got Her Groove Back and I can't wait (again, if I get home in one piece). The one good thing about dying in the Bronx would be missing my informal "closure" event this coming Monday (scotch would be involved) where I would say goodbye to a chapter in Dish history. Heather would understand--everyone else would be ashamed.

Mad Men, Dexter, and Corn Chips

The above is Dish's evening. I'm on disk 2 of Mad Men, which is making me want to smoke again--sneak a little rolled up ciggie filled with Bali Shag. Or one of those thin Cafe Creme cigars, the kind you can inhale and it scalds your throat deliciously. I just want one. Which might lead to five and then we're back to puffing Parliaments outside my work building along with the other leather faces. I heart you, tobacco, even though you're bad for me.

Speaking of smokers, let's all Save a Prayer for Duran Duran keyboardist Nick Rhodes, who is suffering a massive ear infection, which has hindered his ability to play in San Antonio (there's a joke in there, but I don't want to receive Hate Mail!).

Hall of Justice

Just watched Obama's announcement of his cabinet. It sort of reminded me of an episode of ancient cartoon, The Superfriends. Remember? Can't you see them all meeting over a problem, flying to their respective quarters, and having a good laugh once the villain is defeated?

Burning of Slick Candle at Both Ends

Dish can boast the same work ethic as Harvey Levin. Harv is the god of TMZ as well as the crowd pleaser outside of The People's Court (starring the fair and feisty Marilyn Milian--Dish is a huge fan). However you may feel about super-invasive gossip-mongers, you gotta admire someone who works like a dog (I would note Ryan Seacrest but he's not really on Dish's radar). I notice Harv's always sipping a drink on TMZ as he listens to his peons sputter dirt. If I were Harvey, that big cup would be filled with scotch. It doesn't take that much to perch over a divider and listen (might as well be hammered). Sometimes, he goes to the whiteboard to write down star-facts (Brenda Johnson also does this on The Closer), making the gossip that much more important. Not to be too PC since Dish loves dirt, but one wonders what Harvey could do for those in need rather than the super-privileged.