Dish's Official Ballot

Here's what I think will win:

Leading Actor: Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart (should have won for An American Heart 100 years ago)
Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds (groan, he’s going to make another very annoying speech)
Leading Actress: Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side (though really want Gabourey to win; Meryl might upset, which might make her record winner for Oscars)
Supporting Actress: Mo’Nique in Precious
Animated Feature: Up
Art Direction: Avatar
Cinematography: Avatar
Costume Design: The Young Victoria (period piece)
Directing: The Hurt Locker
Documentary Feature: The Cove (b/c Nick Rhodes says so)
Document Short: China’s Unnatural Direaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province
Film Editing: The Hurt Locker
Foreign Language Film: Un Prophète (lots of violence in this year's choices but it is foreign language film)
Makeup: Star Trek (prosthetic wins)
Original Score: Avatar (I see you)
Original Song: “The Weary Kind” from Crazy Heart
Short Animated Film: Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty
Short Live Action: Instead of Abracadabra (all the rest are freaking depressing and about children so I feel they will cancel each other out and this lighter one will win)
Sound Editing: The Hurt Locker (gunfire)
Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker
Visual Effects: Avatar (Smurfs raping birds)
Adapted Screenplay: Precious (keep thinking of the dog in Silence of the Lambs)
Original Screenplay: The Hurt Locker
Best Picture: Avatar (Hurt Locker could upset but James Cameron would be pissed. It would be refreshing if he didn’t win)

Cry Baby

I'm not into Johnny Depp. This goes against a commandment (thou shalt love Obama, Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Clint Eastwood, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Cate Blanchett, Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Denzel Washington, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts, George Clooney, and Morgan Freeman) since he "chooses interesting roles," doesn't shower, is the Sexiest Man Alive, lives in France and doesn't care about the establishment. I love the crazy hotel-room-destroying Johnny of the 90s, but now he's all acty and Tim Burton has turned his best efforts into a pretentious freak show. That said, he usually makes me smile when he's on screen.

Michael Mann doesn't do Johnny any favors with Public Enemies. Johnny's performance is forgettable and, frankly, I enjoyed the Mark Harmon/Sherilyn Fenn version much better. A TV movie, it didn't pretend to be great. I've decided Mann shouldn't go back in time before the 1990s. You miss the intense music, the slick and bittersweet characterization, the intense melancholy at the end when your favorite hero dies. This one is a bore with great hats. The only fun part was listening to Billy Crudup do a 1930s movie accent.

Hijinks and Hilarity!

I like to think real female friendship is somewhere in between Sex and the City and The Real Housewives of New York City. The XXYs on SATC are so supportive and nurturing, traveling in a four-pack and meeting almost every day for brunch. By contrast, the real NYC housewives meet at random and forced events whereby they claw each other to bits. I'm addicted to both shows, and while, I wouldn't want to befriend these characters (except Kim Catrall, of course!), they are tough broads. I'd drop any of them in a pool with Shamu, fully expecting them to survive (except Carrie).

Now onto cattier topics: Who's going to be a big mess at the Oscars? Will Johnny Depp drop out of The Tourist because his Perpetual-GF doesn't want Angelina using her powerful feminine wiles on him? Angelina cannot be resisted! When will Lil Wayne serve his jail time? Is Charlie Sheen going to jail himself? Why did Elin move back in with Tiger? Is the Bachelor cheating on his lady love or does his ex have a mouth full of sour grapes? Has Gail O'Grady had botox or does she just look fantastic because of good genes? It's so all-consuming.

Quick Hit

Today was a day so I'll make it quick. Am pissed they cut the kiss between Mariska and Kathy Griffin but kept in the kiss between Chris Meloni and Kathy. So, lesbian kiss = offensive but hetero just fine. Last night's Law & Order: SVU wasn't the great triumph I thought it would be. Kathy is a good actress, drama or comedy, but this wasn't an innovative story or script. Moral of the story: If you a lesbian activist, you will eventually learn you only need a good man in the end.

Dish came home to a box of homemade chocolate from TG, a great reward for my bad day. It makes up for losing my Nano at the gym. No one will turn in my lost technology. At least, the thief get Duran Duran's complete repertoire (along with serious payback)...

:(

Duran Duran Deserves an Oscar

If you love DD, listen to the Oscar picks podcast between Nick Rhodes and Katy (Duran Duran goddess). I'll cover highlights: Bangers, mash and Graham Norton on a stick! I [Nick] refuse to sully myself by seeing The Blind Side and Julie & Julia. Great classics of the nineteenth century, I shall fashion myself a Lady Gaga wig and recline to view these treats: Precious, Inglourios Basterds, and The Hurt Locker. Sandra Bullock will never join me for High Tea or a favorable jam session with Timbaland. Dish gets this (i.e. She should have died on the train tracks in While You Were Sleeping) though, as with family members, I love her despite her flaws. Plus, she and I have the same body type. For this reason, I wouldn't mind Sandy winning an Oscar. Reminds me a little of when Julia won for Erin Brockovich, not so hot in my view. And so then Nick was like: Holy Queen Elizabeth's Crown Jewels and Carnaby Street on a Sunday, Jeff Bridges so should've won an Oscar for Tucker. HA! Is he trippin? What about American Heart!? Plus, he was excellent in The Mirror Has Two Faces. The podcast was a little drony, making me realize Nick and I probably wouldn't get along. But I love him to death anyway.

So, Naomi Campbell assaulted the help yet again. Some judge needs to grow a pair and throw that psychotic b*tch in jail. Also, in the name of justice, watch Kathy Griffin on Law & Order: SVU tonight. Her liplock with Mariska will be the kiss felt round the world.

Duran Duran Deserves an Oscar!

Dish listened to the Oscar picks podcast between Nick Rhodes and Katy (Duran Duran goddess). Must note: Nick hates the idea of seeing The Blind Side and Julie & Julia. He's a bit of a snooty-mcsnoot but I agree about The Blind Side, which seems nauseating. Nick seems to hate Sandra Bullock. Dish loves her in interviews but less so in movies. I wouldn't mind her winning an Oscar since it's really about who's prettiest. Reminds me a little of my feelings about Julia winning for Erin Brockovich, which I didn't think was so hot. I would never keep an Oscar from Julia but it does seem as if movie-of-the-week performances can win Oscars. I can't believe I said that out loud.

Nick thinks Jeff Bridges should have won an Oscar for Tucker. HA! What about American Heart!? He was also excellent in The Mirror Has Two Faces.

The Bachelor--So Familiar and Painful!

Dish couldn't stomach an entire episode of The Bachelor but had to sneak a peek at the finale. Which desperate fame-whore did he choose to share in his soon-to-be untelevised and unremarkable future? This year's bachelor = the guy in college you were in love with, who had important problems and you'd listen to them until four in the morning just for the iota of a chance that he might make out with you. Who did he love instead? The bad girl who didn't care. The only difference is that The Bachelor cries over wilted lettuce. I wish them luck since they are seconds from sad sucking of jello shots to numb the pain of seeing each other's dirty underwear. The woman he chose looks a little like Judith Light. Love Judith.

Where Was My Invitation?

So much going on these days. Let's start with my feelings of betrayal. Falling for Grace premiered in NYC last week and where was Dish? NOT HYSTERICALLY POPPING ALTOIDS AT THE SIGHT OF GALE HAROLD who walked the red carpet. It could have been the nervous breakdown of my dreams but I sat at my desk, whipping TG into shape and checking off my list of tasks.

The one thing that's cheered me up: Our President and former President Bill Clinton supposedly took the time out of their busy schedules to call Tiger Woods and lend their support while he's in sex and Ambien rehab. This touched my heart as nothing else could. I wonder if Roger Clemens got the same phone call when his career went down the toilet over his steroid use and lying in court. Is sex more phone-worthy than drugs? Tiger upped the ante by combining sex and drugs--which is salacious and fun! I think we can do better and combine: sex, drugs, and a good pounding of the face.

So, Dish has given up on Jersey (Herpes) Sore after 50 minutes. Too much vomiting for me. Speaking of which, Leno is back on The Tonight Show this evening.

Positive note: I applaud Desperate Housewives for going the lesbian route last night, which is unexpected in a female-focused show. Dana Delaney didn't fall for the handywoman with a crew cut. She fell for the ex-stripper who spilled champagne on her bra. I'm not complaining since it's the most fun I had since Gale Harold's short tenure on DH. Full circle.