Kardashian Bombshell That Seems Kinda Malish

The tabloids suddenly and inexplicably seem fixated on the possibility that Khloe Kardashian, the scary and least robotic one, is not biologically a Kardashian. If I were Khloe, I'd be enraged but also not surprised--since all bets are off when you're a K. On the bright side, she's richer than the people reporting these awful things. The rumors might be originating from Robert Kardashian's last wife who also spewed that Bruce Jenner cross-dresses. As if this will get me out of bed in the morning. Give me something *really* scandalous -- like photographic evidence that Bruce and Kris still do it.

In a related note, God Bryan Ferry got married to a sweet young lass. More than this? There's nothing. Well, except this clip, which made me cry despite off key. Think it was the sequins: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5JyHrqLJNk&list=FLgKF76xPBOTIX6LFpyz2cwA&index=61&feature=plpp_video.

Halle Berry is engaged to Olivier Martinez, but those pesky French boys, so secretive. He popped the question six months ago. Remember when Richard Gere clocked him in Unfaithful? Maybe I need to stop watching Snapped.

Which reminds me, Revenge. Just started watching, thanks to two gay male friends who say it's "The Best". I have misgivings when a series begins with a voice-over, "When I was a little girl..." Pointy-nosed-actress from Brothers & Sisters gives me a dull gut ache but I'm willing to get through a few eps.

So, Bill O'Reilly having NYPD spy on his wife to see if she's cheating? If true, love is alive on Fox!

If You Live in NYC, You're Too Nuts for "The Bachelor"

Incidentally, this is my choice for the winner of The Bachelor. Dish doesn't have a whole lot of experience watching The Bachelor (bahahaha) but even this blogger notices a trend. NYC contestants tend not to last. Their craziness stands out amidst the dulcet tones of fine southern ladies and perky nurses from the West coast. NY girls are too crazy, claustrophic/agoraphobic, manic and mal-adjusted. This may be a great city, but it f*cks you up big-time to the point where you can't stop with the rapid eye movement while in public places, you can barely hold a conversation without convulsions and hyperventilating is the norm.

Let's talk about me now.

Golden Globes this Sunday! TG is dying to watch. JK: he's watching Penis Bomb Patrol and I no longer exist. Our one-year wedding anniversary is a holiday this year. Dish is working on a meaningful gift, but will not hold a candle to the blue topaz earrings.

Congratulations to Breaking Bad's Aaron Paul who got engaged. I hope this show wins big at the Golden Globes. Having senior moment--TV is included, right? Oh God.

Star Sighting--Dana Ivey!!!

10:45am: Dishbrother reports the sighting while boarding the Downtown 1 train at 86th Street. Dana seemed annoyed "as usual" but then sat down, whipped out a magazine and appeared perfectly happy. Go, Dana! Angry Birds also helps cool my jets on a stuffy car.

AnnaLynne McCord "accidentally" tweeted her tatas to a no-doubt delighted fan. It's an epidemic! If you can't be topless in a movie, why not Tweet it! Mayhap this blossoms into a movie project for McCord.

Of all the injustice! Snoop Dogg arrested in Texas for carrying around the maryjane. Come on. It's Snoop. He's not hurting anyone and we like when he does cameos on shows. Just let him go.

And so much controversy and news over Beyonce's birth. Jay-Z released a new song about it--already being the best father ever! And allegedly, this was a vadge-birth and not a C-section and were hospital personnel ignoring non-celeb babies? We need the facts ASAP. Maybe consider holding a press conference to clear up all misconceptions.

Beyonce's Baby Is Here!

Oh, and Jay-Z might have had something to do with it. A little girl Blue Ivy Carter arrived at some point via C-section. The celebs never disappoint with the quirky names, though this one is kinda pretty. The BeyonZ marriage/pregnancy/birth was shrouded in secrecy, which Dish respects. But...doesn't it take a whole lot of effort to be so private? I gave up privacy a long time ago, though I'm not a celebrity. Yet.

The Good Wife's Alan Cumming married his sweetheart. The picture is positively joyous. Keep those same sex marriages coming. The more these buffoon Republicans (except for Huntington and Ron Paul who are intelligent but unelectable) see that gay marriage is real and unstoppable, the more they will shut the hell up and get with the times.

TG and I are having a quiet night at home, watching the latest Snapped and eating butterscotch/chocolate blondies with milk #f$#cknewyearsresolutions.

Kristy McNichol Comes Out!

Kristy was my idol growing up. I wanted to be her so badly, even through the Empty Nest years. The awesome part was that I was a tomboy and had her coloring so I might have pulled off a Kristy-transformation if I'd had a different nose, mouth, eyes and body frame. She's been out of the news for twenty years but now has come out of the closet after this epidemic of fatal bullying incidents. Go, Kristy! And please get back on TV as the bubbly sister.

Another idol is Mindy Kaling who stars and writes for The Office. Her autobiography Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns)? is a fresh and entertaining read. Plus, because she's young, so it's really short, therefore easy on the attention span. Now I love her even more.

Other news: Josh Lucas is engaged and Paula Abdul split with her beau and Chaz wants to buy a penis. An epic day.

Today marks a real anniversary for Dish. 21 years ago, I had a brush with death thanks to random violence. I'm grateful to be alive. The body remembers and I'm a little jittery of late. But having TG home again makes everything sparkly and fun. He is a joy.

Patrick Smith Natural Health: Skin Care for the Stars!

As with exercise, Dish is always looking for a new skin care regime. I recently gave up my Roc Night Wrinkle Cream (which is still awesome) for the all-natural face serum by Patrick Smith Natural Health: http://www.facebook.com/psnaturalhealth. You can visit his store at: http://patricksmithlmt.com/store. I've been using these oils for the last few months and my skin has changed. Rosacea, gone. Blotchy skin, gone. Rough dry face, gone. I highly recommend the whipped body butter as well!

Now to exercise, I just found a Deepak Chopra yoga exercise DVD. It seems so hilarious I have to try it.

Star Sighting--Carlos Santana!!!

5 pm: I was walking off a little panic attack. I get them a lot in NYC and walking helps. As my nerves reached normal, I saw a debonair Carlos Santana crossing Charlton St. with his spouse. They looked cool as cucumbers and he had not one iota of stress on his face. Confession time: I'm about as knowledgeable about CS as I am about The Grateful Dead (as in not at all) but I do love this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXp413NynFk. Seeing Santana was a nice transition into my evening Zen.

More Successful Celeb Fertilization!

It seems Sienna Miller is preggo via boyfriend-turned-fiance Tom Sturridge. Now, when is she going to get out another stylish and well acted movie? I see on her IMDB that she has scads of projects in post-production but...well...oh, actually I don't care. Now that she's no longer banging Jude Law, I don't. Unless she makes another Layer Cake or Factory Girl. Then I'm back on Team Sienna! Don't waste your talent unless involved in an enormous scandal. What I really mean to say is: Congrats to the happy couple.

I read a rumor--and I hope it's a rumor--that Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis are fighting. Celeb fighting means splitsville because they often don't know how to resolve conflict and just move on to the next. These two have been like glue for years so splitting up isn't a good idea. France is awesome. Johnny speaks French. Vanessa is my idol since I was 20. Maybe, though, it'll bring him back to America...Stop me, I'm having mild fantasies of Angelina leaving Brad for him. But that's just cruel, Dish.

The Casey Anthony video diaries. Such delusion.