Last of the Shorts

This is the third night in a row of partying for Dish--so nothing to report except Dishbrother and dishbrothersidekick threw a great wedding reception. Worlds collided, we ate, we gabbed, we drank, we danced to the oldies and might have looked good doing it.

Tomorrow I'm back in business.

For the moment, I'll leave you with this: I look great in dots. J.J. can do magic with my hair. The Killing won't go another season. Too much darkness, not enough twists.

Susan Sarandon's Still Got It

TG and I are catching up on our The Big Cs and Susan Sarandon continues to be a revelation no matter what she does. The added brilliance of this episode was that it replicated every self-improvement seminar I've ever been to--and Dish has been to a gazillion.

Started reading Jean-Paul Sartre's Existentialism and Human Emotions and am sufficiently blown away. The stars don't seem up to snuff today. Maybe JP will wear off in a few hours.

Rest in Peace, MCA

Overheard today in Manhattan: "Oh, Taylor was totally his beard because Jake is totally gay."

My ears twitched over this. Jake Gyllenhaal? So those bro-dates with Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong might have been leisurely sojourns in a steamy Queer As Folk lust-fest? Did anyone catch this on film? This is what happens when you're really good in Brokeback Mountain. I wish I cared more about Jake's sexuality. I just assume the stars will do anything for anyone. I'd rather see the Gyllengod in a good movie!

Oh, speaking of, Rob Lowe supposedly will be in another embarrassing Lifetime movie--related to Casey Anthony. Lifetime is where stars go to die but I love, love, love this network and 90% of their movies (I didn't care for the one with Cameron Mathison and the other babe from All My Children--The Wife He Met Online). A news clusterfudge: Still loving The Conversation, though it's sounding like therapy for Amanda. She listens to the ladies then relates it to her life. Oh wait, that's what a conversation is. That Lady Gaga talks like a girl in her 40s. No way is she 25. The Quaids (of Dennis) are getting back together. Ain't love grand? Did they Dr. Phil-it or is this because of a sh*tty settlement?

Can't you see I'm skirting around today's tragedy? The 80s generation (and beyond) lost one of its own--Adam Yauch, MCA of the Beastie Boys, passed away after a battle with cancer. I loved the Beastie Boys at really loud college parties where you just let your sh*t go. Dish did this every now and then (a keg was usually involved)--they were awesome. During the day, their noise seemed like noise, though I always appreciated what they brought to music. This is a terrible loss. RIP, MCA! This is for you!

Duran Duran Playing for the Summer Olympics!

They never go away, nor would we ever want them to vanish from our ecstatic landscapes. Dish might be away on business during this event, but I'll DVR it. Duran Duran and Daniel Craig appearing during the summer Olympics--this could exacerbate my mitral valve prolapse*.

Dish's funny of the day: Ellen reading the latest craze: Fifty Shades of Grey. I have this on my Kindle app on my iPad--how's that for dirty?

Yesterday, Ryan O'Neal was everywhere. This hasn't happened since a recent Bones marathon and I liked him on this show. He seems so fake in interviews. What a messed up family--and it didn't have to be. He claims to have been a bad father...and Dish doesn't feel sad for him, because the focus is still on him. Maybe I'm too close to this issue. Instead of writing a book, why not spend time with those kids? I know about 2% of the story, if that, and I do own The Main Event, but still, this skeeves me out. I wish him well in his recovery and that he is able to heal his relationships with his children. That is the most important thing.

I had a moment of weakness today where I looked up plastic surgery of the stars. They've all had at least a nose job. My friend L. was right--they have to. It's an investment. Did not see Julia on the list but does that mean she hasn't gotten a prick or two of the pig toxin?

The Bachelor/ette/Pad Chris Harrison is splitting with his wife of 18 years. What happened? He seemed like the most serene person on Earth. Maybe he is. The tabs say it's super-amicable. Groovy, kids!

*I noticed an irregular heartbeat after nine months of smoking unfiltered Gauloises.

A Moment of Reverence for Duran Duran Exes (and Two Currents)

After watching the "Hungry Like the Wolf" video for the 76th time on MTV, my 14 y.o. self agonized over the inevitable pain I would feel if Simon, John, and Nick* ever found true love. I had to work fast. Then came the evil Duran Duran vacation in Montserrat with no shortage of press coverage. Duran girlfriends were everywhere, laughing with hands on precious Duran limbs. My heart hemorrhaged. The blade went deeper when Nick married Julie Anne with flamingos and matching lipgloss. My junior year, Simon married a goddess. The final nail was John's relationship with Renee Simonsen, that gorgeous model who was on every cover. The wound reopened with his marriage to Amanda. I had to accept the facts, though inside I seethed over the audacity of these no-doubt manipulative vixens.

Many decades later, my degree of separation from the boys has lessened to about 1 and 1/2 and my adolescent bitterness has miraculously vanished. (I think Dishmama is vomiting with disgust right now. I'll get back to deeper thinking soon, Mommycakes!). It took Yasmin Le Bon dancing by me during a recent concert to make me forget I was having a panic attack. She just looked so happy grooving to music. I then did the same and ignored the shakes. Amanda's The Conversation dazzled me last week, and now, I've just discovered the blog/website of Julie Anne Rhodes. I'm completely inspired by her. Her site made me want to cook and we all know Dish barely boils water**. My hat's off to this talented woman. I won't even start with Gela Nash-Taylor and the Juicy Couture empire.

Reinvention is possible and necessary over the course of a woman's life. Jealousy is mostly pointless. We have to root for each other instead. Right, girls?

*Andy was already married and, as we all know, Roger and I are the same person so it never would have worked. TG is a Simon, 4 sure.
**I can cook secretly but choose not to--I starch and iron TG's clothes instead.

Jessica Finally Gave Birth!

Wasn't it strange how fixated everyone including Dish became with Jessica Simpson's large belly? Since those bad jeans (which weren't so bad), she's the big butt of so many fat jokes. A baby doesn't help*. I wonder how much of it was real or just a ploy to push a weight-loss plan. Maybe I read about it somewhere and am now passing off the info as my own insight.

Why do I pay attention to this? I should start The House of Green Gables, pronto! Or was it The House with No Cable? I kind of hate people who don't have TV because it's against their beliefs. I shouldn't have eaten those baked beans.

On a related topic, Newt Gingrich ended his campaign. At least Ron is staying in to keep it interesting.

RIP, Junior Seau, former NFL player, who felt it was his time to go. So sad.

*The girl's name is Maxwell, which makes me think of this--a true senior moment since the artist name is different.

Barry Obsessing: Part 2

This was the song where I lost it. What made it so moving was that BM sang it to the father who left him at 2. He sang it with a smile, so hopeful and no bitterness. Sniff...

Did I mention that his backup singers were amazing?

Barry Manilow Revs Up Radio City

Sorry for the crappy photo but I was so mesmerized by the Barryster, my usually terrible photog skills suffered exponentially.

Before Concert: Dish was 5 on the Fanilow scale. Liked him a lot, sometimes inspired, but was more into glam 80s pop boy bands. After Concert: 9 and it wouldn't take much to create a sh*tstorm of Fanilow-mania in Dish. Is there enough room for another obsession?

Of course!

I went to the concert with LovesMattDamon who knew every lyric in every Barry song--and sang it! We had jolly good fun. At first, Barry seemed rickety, and the hip surgery must have taken a toll on this tall drink of water. Also, Girlfriend needs a hamburger fast. But tweezed hair and spindly legs aside, he sparkled and grooved and didn't miss a single note. He just got stronger and stronger, hitting all the favorites and charming the bejesus out of us. I found myself tearing up over the tribute to Dick Clark and then his grandfather. No words needed for when Barry sang WITH HIMSELF a la Nat/Natalie Cole. He didn't even need to sing since the audience was singing right along with him.

There is no one like Barry. He is special. He's written amazing songs that stay in our hearts (whether we want them there or not). During "It's a Miracle," I thought: Maybe Barry Manilow could resolve the conflict in the Middle East. All you do is put all the warring factions in a room and have Barry smooth it out with a concert. Those songs, how could you not feel peace and harmony from them?

My favorite lines:

When we wouldn't stop applauding: "Let's lock the doors and order a pizza."

Over his surgery--a little paraphrased: "I discovered something great that will stay with me for the rest of my life...Vicodin."

What a heavenly evening. And now I'm sick.