And Justice for Most

Trying not to read too much about the whole Cleveland kidnapping thing but it always makes me happy when victims emerge safe and sound. And the verdict came down for Jodi Arias, guilty of first degree murder. Stabbing her ex-lover 29 times? Isn't 15 enough? I'm waiting for this episode of Snapped.

In sad news, a legend has passed on: Jeanne Cooper of The Young and the Restless.

TG and I have started our campaign to promote my book. TG is way more skilled at this. I mean, look at him. Isn't that the face of someone you'd like to cold-call you?

Mark Sanford Back in Congress

I shouldn't be surprised, though I am this time--and every time. When politicians act like dogs, they get re-elected. This means Anthony Weiner (I would have voted for him before that Twitter thing) is sure to come back into the...um...fold. Everything sounds so dirty! Chris Christie just had lap band surgery, which I've heard involves a stripper sitting on him and stretching her breasts around his stomach. I'm sure he's going to run for Prez in 2016. Getting thin is a precursor to a big run. I'm all for health, as long as it doesn't involve tweeting your nethers!

Upon full examination of the Met Gala fashions, I'm shocked that I loved Kim Kardashian's wallpaper dress. So refreshing to see her in something other than solids. She looked glamorous and stylish. Also, enjoyed Anne Hathaway's blond hair. But what the hell was Ginnifer Goodwin thinking? That scared me.

Smash update and spoiler: I can't quit this show. With each episode, I hate it more and more, even if they bring in Liza and Bernadette Peters. I would give myself a severe bob just for the chance to have Anjelica throw a drink in my face. Karen finally does something interesting and almost sleeps with that Simon Cowell director. But does she allow actual penetration? NO! She's in love with that drugged-out idiot who's got a bad case of me-me-mes. I keep wishing he'd jump off something high, but he continues to act like he has serious lady cramps. Sadly, his BFF--who is one of the few characters I'd love to hang out with in real life (other than Debra Messing because she's fabulous no matter how ugly her clothes are on the show)--gets tossed in front of a car. I want to cancel everything, scream at the television, and I know it's only a matter of time before someone says, "The show must go on." Oh God, please erase this from my brain! (can't wait until next ep)

The Real Housewives of Orange County: Introduction of Lydia's mom who sprinkles fairy dust on strangers and smokes a whole lot of pot. Best thing that ever happened to the show.

It seems Criminal Minds is going through some hardships since two pivotal female characters might be leaving (allegedly) due to crappy contracts. Very screwed up. I don't know what I'd do without my weekly Garcia fashions. My last two pairs of glasses, I purchased with her as inspiration.

Using Muscles I've Never Used Before

As you can tell from the fact that I disseminate this blog through my deceased cat, I'm not much of a self-promoter. Now with a book coming out, I have to wrack my brain and make a list of people who could help me. Luckily, TG is a master at this so I threw a big tantrum and now he feels compelled to take over as my unofficial publicist.

In the meantime, I've renewed my subscription to Helen Mirren as The Woman I Want to Be, ASAP just from pictures of her backside as she's gallivanting around a gay festival. No one looks better with pink hair or purple pants--except maybe Pink herself.

Some sad news: I'm done with The West Wing. Have now watched it through twice. Talk about an Aaron Sorkin liberal fantasy--I bawled through the entire seventh season. Electing a Hispanic president who wants to reform education and get out of a useless war. Where are my Kleenex?

Happy news: Charlie Sheen's children are no longer with their biological parents. I've always been a fan of Denise Richards and now she deserves our support as she raises four kids. May she make another Lifetime movie soon. I Do, (But I Don't) II -- an inspiration that only gets better the more you watch it.

Farrah Abraham is the new Kim Kardashian. There, I said it.

(And if you can suggest anyone who might be able to create buzz on my book, please advise me)

Not Much On Sunday

Dish can't move her neck so this will be short. Keira Knightley got hitched. I've decided that Paul Rudd should play TG in the movie version of my book. I'm catching up on my Smash. More thorough star scrutiny tomorrow.

Star Sighting--Helen Hunt!!!

Behold this fabulous star sighting from Dishbrotherhusband!

"I thought you'd like to know. I saw Helen Hunt on the 1 train this afternoon. It was about 5:40/5:45pm. Not sure when she got in the train cause I was reading (prob after 42nd st, I'm thinking 59th st). I only noticed her when a small family (young mom, baby in stroller and grandma)  got in and as it was crowded they stayed by the door, not holding on to anything. The grandma tripped over Helen Hunt when the train moved. The grandma apologized and Helen, who was wearing sunglasses, half smiled and pointed to the grandma to use one of the handrails. I was about 5 feet away. Helen later got off at 72nd street. She was with a little redhead girl (daughter?). Helen looked good, very thin, wearing black. I tried not to gawk and went back to reading after the tripping accident. I did notice how narrow/slim her nose was."

Excellent peepers, DBH! But I wonder, why the sunglasses in the subway? They just draw attention, Dish feels. I do think some nose work was done, but hey, you never know.

We just watched This Is 40 and it's our whole life, basically (minus the children and mooching father). I'm thinking now Paul Rudd needs to play TG in the movie version.

Late Night Posting...

Because I forgot that I was posting daily again. Dish handed in The Book today to The Editor, on time, then promptly turned into a zombie. TG and I met to see a dog fashion show at FIT. The things people do these days to put their pets in human clothes. I was waiting for one of the pooches to take a giant sh$t but my prayers went unanswered.

TG and I watched Fox News because Erin Burnett's smugness (not to worry, I sort of feel the same about about Clooney, Sting and Bono) bugs us and we saw the poop about that drunk little so-and-so Reese and how she had the gall to flaunt her name and how her hubs threw her under the bus. To be a fly in the Witherspoon house... Who lets their husband drive so plowed in the first place? Blah.

And then TG and I watched The Hangover Part II. I still think Bradley Cooper tortures small animals. I have no evidence.

Star Sighting--Adam Driver from Girls!!!

12:15pm, 19th and 7th: I crawled out of bed to get a salad. I was bummed in general because I was tired, I have to hand in a lot of work and my cat died. From across the street I saw the equally slovenly sweaty BF from Girls. Looking more cleaned-up, he walked by, didn't make eye contact, though I barely did either.

Then I got myself a candy bar.

Rest in Peace, DishCat

In September 1994, Antoine was born in a barn in New Mexico. He had giant paws that were far too big for his furball body. Because I was recovering from a broken heart, I brought him home with me. He nearly killed us both on the way when he scrambled out of my hands and down toward the brake pedal. I hadn't planned on getting a cat. Throughout his life, he was temperamental like me, hid behind couches (like me), wailed in the middle of the night, insisted on sleeping either on my chest, across my ankles or between my knees. For eighteen years, we lived together, ate my takeout, and, more recently, fell in love with TG. Last year, Antoine started to weaken and the last two months, he's been miserable. This morning, I decided to send him to that couch in heaven where I'm sure he's playing with his brother (also born in that barn) and his adoptive brother Jack. What a good kitty he was. Now I'm heartbroken again.