Mark Sanford Back in Congress

I shouldn't be surprised, though I am this time--and every time. When politicians act like dogs, they get re-elected. This means Anthony Weiner (I would have voted for him before that Twitter thing) is sure to come back into the...um...fold. Everything sounds so dirty! Chris Christie just had lap band surgery, which I've heard involves a stripper sitting on him and stretching her breasts around his stomach. I'm sure he's going to run for Prez in 2016. Getting thin is a precursor to a big run. I'm all for health, as long as it doesn't involve tweeting your nethers!

Upon full examination of the Met Gala fashions, I'm shocked that I loved Kim Kardashian's wallpaper dress. So refreshing to see her in something other than solids. She looked glamorous and stylish. Also, enjoyed Anne Hathaway's blond hair. But what the hell was Ginnifer Goodwin thinking? That scared me.

Smash update and spoiler: I can't quit this show. With each episode, I hate it more and more, even if they bring in Liza and Bernadette Peters. I would give myself a severe bob just for the chance to have Anjelica throw a drink in my face. Karen finally does something interesting and almost sleeps with that Simon Cowell director. But does she allow actual penetration? NO! She's in love with that drugged-out idiot who's got a bad case of me-me-mes. I keep wishing he'd jump off something high, but he continues to act like he has serious lady cramps. Sadly, his BFF--who is one of the few characters I'd love to hang out with in real life (other than Debra Messing because she's fabulous no matter how ugly her clothes are on the show)--gets tossed in front of a car. I want to cancel everything, scream at the television, and I know it's only a matter of time before someone says, "The show must go on." Oh God, please erase this from my brain! (can't wait until next ep)

The Real Housewives of Orange County: Introduction of Lydia's mom who sprinkles fairy dust on strangers and smokes a whole lot of pot. Best thing that ever happened to the show.

It seems Criminal Minds is going through some hardships since two pivotal female characters might be leaving (allegedly) due to crappy contracts. Very screwed up. I don't know what I'd do without my weekly Garcia fashions. My last two pairs of glasses, I purchased with her as inspiration.

Smash: Getting Under My Skin

I resisted the hype of Smash, even pooh-poohed the first few episodes and said, I've seen it before. Well, I have. And I haven't. Now I'm obsessed with the show, fully relishing the behind-the-scene antics of a musical. Maybe because Dish was in the chorus for Fiddler on the Roof way back in middle school? Or that Debra Messing is the only one over-40 who hasn't adopted the excess-filler-trout mouth. She looks so normal and beautiful, which is why I will continue to watch Smashed. Plus, the McPhee is hypnotic.

This helped me cope with the vile photos of Donald Trump's son triumphantly holding a tusk while standing next to a dead elephant. Now I *really* hate that family. Then again, as I kill a cockroach, I like watching the guts fly out. The shiny coat makes pretty earrings.

Heartwarming celebrity moment: The sight of Brandi Glanville and LeAnn Rimes on a blanket watching a soccer game together. It brought me to tears.

Delicious is the New Fabulous!

Since when are people "delicious?" I've been hearing this word used while gushing at others and it vexes me. Am now burying rage in the Superbowl, rooting for the Giants, scooping Cool Whip onto leftover Dulce De Leche ice cream.

Smash has been getting rave reviews so I had to watch. I'm a little song-tired but I tend to like Debra Messing and want her to succeed. Smash is Broadway focused, with dishy theater glitz and the usual pushy ahole divas running the show. Katherine McPhee is lovely and talented. I keep expecting an Ethel Merman to re-emerge. I miss the real gusto and character in a singing voice--like a Lady Gaga who really puts herself in a song, without needing to close her eyes to convey emotion. I wasn't blown away by Smash but it's okay. Then again...this is what I said about Prison Break, Glee, Queer As Folk and 24. Then I got hooked.

Who's glued to Downton Abbey tonight? And who thinks Bates is the new Darcy? DISH!

Divorcing with the Stars!

There had to be a part II in the Debra Messing divorce bombshell. She's supposedly dating her Smash co-star Will Chase! TG and I watched the preview for this flickipoo and it looks a little like Burlesque/A Chorus Line/You Light Up My Life/Fame-ish. Might have to see it anyway since I love Debra. She looks so happy in this pic, like the glow that comes from new romance. Or in my case, I get that glow when I see a bacon cheeseburger with fries.

Hollywood's favorite psychopath Mike Lohan collapsed in his AA meeting and the docs found a new blood clot in his lungs. I don't wish him ill but Karma is a bitch. As my doctor says, the bad stuff has to come out somehow (I won't elaborate on how this relates to me except baked goods every day for a month + no vegetables = you do the math).

According to TMZ, an ex-Kardashian nanny is shopping a book in which she trashes the kids. Speaking from someone in that publishing industry (as you can tell), I don't see a huge market for this. By the time it comes out the K empire won't be so hot. This book would send more bad energy out into the universe. And we already can guess how spoiled the girls might have been. Now if the nanny were a caretaker by day, dominatrix to the stars by night...

Cattiness ensues between Deion Sanders's soon-to-be ex and her stepdaughter, who began a Twitter war claiming Pilar (Deion's wife) was an unfaithful gold-digger. Everyone looks ugly in this. Best to be quiet.

Happy Anniversary, TG, + 3 Days!

Dish hasn't been in much of a party mood and, truth be told, I'm so ready for this year to end, as wonderful as it was. What made it wonderful? Well, obviously, I married a gem. He puts up with a lot of BS from me, and with good humor. For the two-year anniversary of when he flew here from Switzerland to live with me immediately after not seeing me for 26 years (look at post from 12/17/09), he got me gems! Gorgeous blue topaz earrings with little diamonds. I've never been that into jewelry but this is changing FAST. Having such a great guy fall so unexpectedly into my life makes me endlessly lucky.

Because I'm twisted and it's the only news of the day, two couples who didn't end up so lucky but had a good run: Sam Shepherd and Jessica Lange -- together since 1982 -- split. This doesn't surprise me. Debra Messing and her husband split as well after, if I do the math, what could be 18 years together. A college try.

Just finished Jane Lynch's auto-bio and am sad that it ended. I see that she sponsors B&N's Nook. Must change over immediately!