I have a secret fear of Heidi Klum. It's no secret anymore, I guess. When I look into those black eyes, I see the ending of
The Stepford Wives, when what's-her-bunny looks into the camera. So, I can't watch
Project Runway. I know she's not real and Seal is boinking a programmed Stepford wife. You know they exist. Then there's the fact that Heidi's ex-dog lives next door to me and pisses on my doorstep. The little bitch let me pet her once, then peed.
Tonight, the tide turns. I'll brave Heidi for one reason: RuPaul. I love him-her. RuPaul will blow everyone away for me.
RuPaul will wash away the pain and shock of seeing childhood nemesis Nannette Fabray on
The Love Boat this evening. I gasped, then realized my irrational on-sight hatred still exists. Now I know why: the creepy nose. See below.
There's a lot to be scared of in this world.
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