Uphill on The Hills

I'm not sure why I watch The Hills. Stupid people make me laugh. Bad acting makes me laugh. People who think they're cool but aren't make me laugh. The Hills has all of this and more. The problem--these people do less in a half hour than I do in a minute. I vow never to watch again but then I'm drawn to:

Lauren's attempts to be good to everyone. She so looks like Marcia Brady and I'm wondering when someone's going to throw a football in her face. Or at least emphasize her moustache. Maybe I'm seeing things but I notice a thin hairy sheen above her lip...

Spencer's obvious evil, though he's probably super-nice in real life. The slacker act is poorly done and someone with more brainpower could pull it off. I'm thinking he'll be President someday.

Heidi's expert working of the system. It heartened me to see her acne last night. I love how her life-attitude is so adult and she's only, like, 21.

Okay, that's it. I'm never watching it ever again.