Is EVERYONE pregnant?

Thank goodness for the Countess who's getting those fertility treatments (at 47). It makes some of us feel better about being fertilately challenged. But then again, I sort of feel that if the Countess really wanted a baby, she'd fast-track it and do surrogate since she has the $$$ and everyone's doin' it. Why would she carry the baby herself when some sweet 20-something can. Others who are drinking the same baby water include Claire Danes and Mrs. McConaughey for the third time. Sookie is having twin vampires.

I have to divulge a fantasy. Lately, with the whole bombshell Cruise/Holmes divorce, I dream that one night a black limo will pull up at Katie's door. A hooded figure will emerge with strands of red peeking out (not Dish, but I like how you think). The figure is rushed into the building and knocks on the door of a massive apartment. Katie opens to find Nicole Kidman ready for the Mother of Sleepovers.

The tabs are saying Tom is revving up his army. Is that a mixed metaphor?

2 Tired Women, 2 Angry Men

These women are so tired. I'm so tired. This week, Sarah Linden and Emily Thorne are my role models. On The Killing, Sarah walks around sleep deprived yet determined to solve a case. How she drives around endlessly, chasing leads, I don't know. On Revenge, Emily hides a whopper of a secret and must carry through a genius plan of revenge against the Graysons. Does she sleep? No, because she has to stay one step ahead and she still looks awesome and can beat the crap out of anyone. Dish is horribly sleep deprived now for almost a week. Insomnia makes me dizzy, angry, weepy, spacey, anxious and depressed. I tend to become this on the couch until Sweet Morpheus finds me again. The only good thing about sleeplessness is that I stop eating, ergo can go back to my runway days. TG has fled until sweet Dish returns.

I learned so much today by listening to the latest Mel Gibson rant, released by Joe Eszterhas. You cackle but Gibson should teach classes on unleashing one's demon. Can you imagine, rows of gym bunnies, music pumping all screaming: you f***cking *($)#( c**ks**ckkking [insert ethnic slur] sl**ttttbagwhoooooorrreeeee. Oh, sugar t*ts, you really went off the rails when you did What Women Want. I keep wondering why any woman would want Mel these days. Maybe it's the promise of a sweeter side, the genius that peeks out now and then. Now if only Mel and Alec Baldwin would mud wrestle and scream at each other, it would make my year. At least someone needs to put their rants to club music.

Sadness: Greg Ham from Men At Work was found dead in Melbourne. I'm bathing in tears over insomnia the genius of this song.

Gladness: Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer pregnated!!! Awwwww, Sookay.