Because I can't vote for Hillary...

Along with these celebrity women, I will shamelessly endorse Obama especially since Gloria Steinem and Jane Lynch are for him and I'll do anything for those bitches. Are you ready for the debates? I'm so excited I couldn't sleep these last three days. Just call me CNN's whore. I might wander over to FOX so that I can be balanced.

Leave it to the media to pit two women against each other, though it seems to be real fighting. Nicki and Mariah are practically bar-brawling on American Idol. Do I hear the sound of shrinking testicles? As much as Mariah is a diva, Nicki is just being trashy and immature. She's new to the business. If I were her, I'd let Mariah be in the spotlight, otherwise, Nicki's going to make enemies and everyone will hate her. If you don't have love, you're left with talent and she doesn't seem to have much of that. Mariah, at least, has a great voice--though her vibrato is irritating. Oh well, Dish is only interested in catching glimpses of Nicole Kidman in the audience Keith Urban's serene countenance.

TG made a delicious Coq au Vin yesterday. What did I do to deserve this angel?

Tommy Lee is 50. He's an adorable metal dork. Remember his going-back-to-school reality show? Loved it!

How Long Do You Give Mariah Before She Has a Hissy?

American Idol has a new star-studded judging roster. Will it save the show? After listening to J.Lo butcher the English language in her recent interview on Katie, I'm ready for a literate panel. And yet, with Christina's expanding body mass, Adam's whorishness, Simon's awesomeness, Britney's unpredictable brain chemistry and our song-contest fatigue, The Voice and X Factor will rule ratings. Come January, we might be more into Mad Men and less the damn competitions. Despite this, Dish enjoys Keith Urban because he was nice enough to marry Nicole. Mariah might spoil that pleasure with her butterfly bullshit ways. TG and I only watch the beginning auditions where everyone is bad. Hoping, praying there will be passive aggressive zingers between Mariah and Nicki.

Last night, Jay Pharoah premiered his Obama on SNL. Not bad, Jay! In fact, SNL sucked less than usual, thanks to Seth MacFarlane and this new cast. The show lost its heavy hitters, but I'm not so sure they weren't just dead wood. Let's hope the real stars shine (though it still needs stronger writing and less political correctness). Dish has a total professional crush on Seth. I'm not sure how he does it. He's completely brilliant. Possibly a psychopath.

Someone Needs to Stop Public Speaking

Um...awkward!!! These people should be vetted before allowed to endorse publicly. Tommy Lee Jones did a nice job raving about Al Gore, managing to make this candidate seem exciting. Clint was just plain embarrassing -- and I sort of enjoy him. Get another Republican actor--there are plenty! The most cognizant speaker of the night was Marco Rubio. Dish doesn't share many of his beliefs but at least he sounded sane. Mitt's speech was okay. I hope at least the DNC is funner.

American Idol is going to hell. All the original judges are gone and most of us are watching The Voice instead. Nicki Minaj and Mariah don't do it for me. There's a rumor Keith Urban might sign on, which might get me to watch. Mr. Nicole Kidman gets my vote!

Russell Brand and Ginger Spice dating? Why? She was always my favorite. I even forgive her naming her daughter Bluebell Madonna. It's kinda pretty... My next child will be Nicotine Cher!

Dish and TG are suffering from bad chicken salad with potentially tainted mayo. Just the thought makes me ill. I ate it Wednesday and still feel gross. TG ate it yesterday and today. We aren't very happy. This too shall pass.