Because I can't vote for Hillary...

Along with these celebrity women, I will shamelessly endorse Obama especially since Gloria Steinem and Jane Lynch are for him and I'll do anything for those bitches. Are you ready for the debates? I'm so excited I couldn't sleep these last three days. Just call me CNN's whore. I might wander over to FOX so that I can be balanced.

Leave it to the media to pit two women against each other, though it seems to be real fighting. Nicki and Mariah are practically bar-brawling on American Idol. Do I hear the sound of shrinking testicles? As much as Mariah is a diva, Nicki is just being trashy and immature. She's new to the business. If I were her, I'd let Mariah be in the spotlight, otherwise, Nicki's going to make enemies and everyone will hate her. If you don't have love, you're left with talent and she doesn't seem to have much of that. Mariah, at least, has a great voice--though her vibrato is irritating. Oh well, Dish is only interested in catching glimpses of Nicole Kidman in the audience Keith Urban's serene countenance.

TG made a delicious Coq au Vin yesterday. What did I do to deserve this angel?

Tommy Lee is 50. He's an adorable metal dork. Remember his going-back-to-school reality show? Loved it!

I Think Uranus Delivered Its Load This Week

So yeah, the Mitt Romney thing has stuck. Everyone is talking about it. Now we just stand back and see if he's truly sunk or if Obama will do something worse. Is Mitt like Teflon? Will his nasty words change the minds of voters? Dish tends to think people know their candidate and the vote doesn't change. Though...I wasn't going to vote in 2008. I'm not sure what changed my mind, maybe that I overcame my irritation over the starry-eyed Obama devotees who left Hillary in the dust. I still am bitter about that, but the election isn't about me. I definitely voted in an election that mattered, even though my vote didn't really matter. It didn't make me feel amazing. I was just being a citizen. This year, it's much clearer to me.

I'm not sure I like seeing Jennifer Aniston pregnant. It's a disturbance in the force! But I enjoy her humor. Am I being un-PC to prefer her un-pregnant?

Alexis, by far the most fun one to hate, is leaving The Real Housewives of Orange County. Rumor has it that she got kicked off, but I don't see how the network could do that. She's too fun to watch. Was it the weird husband? I'll never buy that she wants to live life away from cameras.

I love Kate Middleton's reaction to the titty photos: smile and dance. Really, who gives a flying scone slathered in clotted cream? There's not much you can do except stay covered forever. That means you, Prince Philips. Please avoid all future wang shots.

The rags can't help playing up the American Idol feuding between Mariah and Nicki. So pathetic. Why does it have to be the divas? Why can't they talk about tension between Randy and Keith. I don't believe a word. We see through your paltry ways, AI machine.

Tori Spelling had emergency surgery after complications with her recent C section. My uterus is yowling in pain. Get well soon, Tori!

Special healing prayers for Robin Roberts as she goes for her bone marrow transplant on Thursday. You can keep up with her on this blog. Go Robin!!!

Someone Needs to Stop Public Speaking

Um...awkward!!! These people should be vetted before allowed to endorse publicly. Tommy Lee Jones did a nice job raving about Al Gore, managing to make this candidate seem exciting. Clint was just plain embarrassing -- and I sort of enjoy him. Get another Republican actor--there are plenty! The most cognizant speaker of the night was Marco Rubio. Dish doesn't share many of his beliefs but at least he sounded sane. Mitt's speech was okay. I hope at least the DNC is funner.

American Idol is going to hell. All the original judges are gone and most of us are watching The Voice instead. Nicki Minaj and Mariah don't do it for me. There's a rumor Keith Urban might sign on, which might get me to watch. Mr. Nicole Kidman gets my vote!

Russell Brand and Ginger Spice dating? Why? She was always my favorite. I even forgive her naming her daughter Bluebell Madonna. It's kinda pretty... My next child will be Nicotine Cher!

Dish and TG are suffering from bad chicken salad with potentially tainted mayo. Just the thought makes me ill. I ate it Wednesday and still feel gross. TG ate it yesterday and today. We aren't very happy. This too shall pass.

Oscar Hissies

The big news is that Brett Ratner resigned/was fired from producing the Oscars after many offensive comments. Was it the fag remark rather than his usual--often violent--misogyny that did him in? He always struck me as a Gigantic Tool, but the world is so politically correct. No one can say anything. Worst of all, Eddie is gone, too! He would have been an interesting host. Make no mistake, I find Ratner to be a vile creature but I still hate that this happened.

Herman Cain: More sexual harassment charges. He says he'd take a lie detector test. Oh really? Speaking of pizza, Mariah has lost her baby weight. Wonder when it'll come back on because she yoyos--which I'm all for because that's reality. I'm told Glee was positively gorgeous last night. Was sex and Darren Criss involved?

Dish is going to read Sartre's Les Mots, about some chick who becomes crazy when she hangs out with someone crazy. I will read in the original French because It's French Existentialist Wednesday!