Superblow 2013!

Ha! Dishbrother came up with that title. Tough times for Dish figuring out which team to support. A 49er made a gay slur, so it's all Ravens. Then again, I adore San Fran the city more than Balti, so 49ers. But then I saw the 49ers' ugly tan leggings and my choice became clear. Beyonce's on right now. I can't imagine she's singing live, but she's bringing it. How does she move in those heels? I'm going to wear her outfit to work and see how fast I'm told to leave immediately. Holy bananas, Destiny's Child. Okay gotta go.

Here's a touching Ellen/Portia moment. The best part is the last two minutes. So Dish has 10 minutes left of Downton Abbey season 3 and the really bad thing hasn't happened yet. My world hasn't been rocked yet. It's apparently so awful and I won't believe it.

What in Blazes is Tom Wearing?

I'm really glad Tom is in NYC, but these jeans offend my eyes. Call me a fan of the wide-legged pant but don't they make his gams look tiny? These are important issues. At least he can pick up Suri. What a nice daddy. Wonder if Tom and Katie will see each other face to face.

Miss Advised: I can't help but feel strongly for these three dating experts. For many many many years, I went through the EXACT same things: horrible and confusing dates, the "don't be your total self" stuff, obsessing and invites to be the third party in threesomes. Bleck. It's hard to be a "good girl" in this world. I'm thankful I don't have to waste energy on this anymore, that I can be myself with someone who's better than I'd expected any spouse could be. I just want to wrap Emily, Amy and Julia in a great big Dish hug. It wouldn't be pervy at all. (Amy, I totally went out with a Lewis--exactly to a tee--and you were SO great to just walk out of the restaurant and in high heels! I wasted 6 months on what should have been two dates! Maybe I did that several times...)

The Real Housewives of Orange County, Reunion 2: Even TG started to get into it with the yelling, accusations and the bitchery. This one was tame and the wives all acknowledges their flaws. What the hell? Have feeling Vicki is on the verge of dumping Brooks. But if she's happy, why not date him? It's like my relationship with ice cream.

Last night's offenses: I started reading Portia Di Rossi's Unbearable Lightness and at the point where she describes upchucking Cheetos, my craving for the snack became almost unbearable. The more she obsessed about weight, the more I had to step on a scale. Every food she describes bingeing on, I must have. Like nachos. YUM! Loving this book, feeling admiration for Portia, but my brain is obviously twisted.

Seeing Stars?

Dish stumbled to feed the cat at 3:41am and hit the noggin' hard against the wall, which felt like the kitchen. The bruise on my forehead plagued me all day. Fear not, a little mugwort fixed that right up*.

So, after ditching Hugh Hefner at the altar last year, Crystal Harris moved back into the Playboy Mansion, resuming scrotal excavations. I can only think of their love in filthy terms, but then what is dirtier than love of money? Is this true love or I-couldn't-make-it-on-my-own-itis?

To erase all complex musings, I continued my Ally McBeal journey Take 2 and am now at the point (season 3) where Calista and Portia are scary, scary skinny. This didn't phase me in 2000 since I had the same upper body. THINGS CHANGE ONCE YOU TURN 40...and that's okay no it's not.

I won't mention anything about Scout Willis being arrested in NYC for underage drinking. This is one of the problems of being a starchild. Suri Cruise is SOOOO going to jail at some point. Though I hope not.

I'm a little nervous as we near the end of The Shield (two seasons left) but tonight we might get our television-crack, The Glee Project. I'm not into it, but TG is. He hates Glee, though. Go fig!

*bonus points if you know which movie this comes from.