Is That Romney Gaffe as Bad as It Sounds?

Dish is a little tired of biased reporting but the news on Huffpo is that Romney dissed 47% of Americans, said if he were Hispanic he'd win, among other strange weirdness. CNN and Fox News haven't latched onto this mouth-diarrhea. I have high hopes for Jon Stewart and Colbert.

Otherwise I'm so intensely bored by the lack of star excitement (Kourtney Kardashian pulled her daughter out of her own vajajay) that I went to straight to reading Patti LuPone's autobiography. It's a little zzzzz at first but I got hooked right in at around 50 pages. Now I can't wait to finish. She is incredible in every way! All other life is on hold. I've heard she's a total bitch but you know what? She works like a dog and lights up a stage/screen. Totally in love with her, Dishbrother met her during her Evita run and was crushed by her aloofness. Now I get where it comes from. I'm inspired to work harder in my own life. Thanks, Patti! Did you know she had a long relaysh with Kevin Kline? I'm only halfway through and I have so much dirt already!!!

Much ado about Amanda Bynes who keeps driving even though she shouldn't. She's talking to inanimate objects (nothing wrong with that) toking and driving and drinking and making a menace of herself. This is what happens when you're out of the spotlight.

I tried to watch Dr. Phil's interview with Dina Lohan but TG walked in. I immediately hid the screen. So far, though, I have to side with Dina. Not a great mother, for sure. Sh*t-faced for the interview, I don't think so. It's obvious that she's been physically abused--and really badly. She tended to cower like a wounded animal. No doubt, she deals with some kind of anxiety disorder (I would, too) and festering terror. To go on Dr. Phil willingly, she must have wanted the spotlight but when it was on her, she withered under the scrutiny. I didn't see drunkenness so much as high anxiety. Maybe she took a couple Xanax before, but that didn't seem to help.

My secret hero Shaun White, the Flying Tomato, was arrested for public intoxication and doing harm to himself. He got wasted, trashed a hotel room, fell and busted his head open. I bet it was over a girl. We gingies always have an especially hard time with love. People think we're aliens.

Redheads Don't Have More Fun, But The Victory Is Greater When We Do Have a Little Fun!

I often get mistaken for the Flying Tomato himself, Shaun White, gingie supreme. We redheads fight the crippling stigma of being whorish, ill-tempered, Irish, weird and Satanic. So when I hear the news that Shaun White is dating DiCaprio's castaway Bar Rafaeli*, I must stand and do the slow clap. Way to go, Paula. Way to go.

Continuing in my Love to Hate James Franco series, look at what the mother-fella wrote for Huffpo.Could he name-drop more excellent movies and if he loves Sean Penn so much, why doesn't he marry him? Wasn't making out with him in Milk enough? Just kidding. The boy is immersed in books and films, has the name to get published on HuffPo and by Amazon's publishing arm, even if a mite choppy. I'm sure he could re-tile my bathroom, the learned Renaissance bastard!

Katie Couric has a new talk show and new boyfriend. SCORE! I don't care if she shrieks at her makeup people. I love this woman. I watched Bethenny's new show and wasn't thoroughly wowed. I mean, she's hilarious and overpowers mere mortals. And don't we have enough talk shows? Shouldn't say that since she *could* discover the story of Dish and TG and FLY US OUT AND HAVE US APPEAR. Bethenny's show is awesome. Love her! Really, I do.

*Though Bar should remember Dish's maxim: Never date an athlete. Never ever.

Dish Finally Has Ugly Feet

It's from all the running I've done of late. J.J. once saw a famous dancer's feet in the subway and he said they looked like penises sticking out of her shoes. Wear and tear. But who wants to talk about this?

Madonna is to perform at the Superbowl halftime show. They just keep bringing out the classics. At least we know she'll put on a good show. She demands nothing less than 110%. It would be very sexy if she came out in a football uniform then stripped down to a bikini in winter. This is the Madonna way.

E-hostess Giuliana Rancic announced that early treatments for her breast cancer were not so successful and she is undergoing a double mastectomy. This kind of in-the-thick-of-it revelation strikes me as brave and especially validating for those undergoing similar treatment. I'd be shivering under the covers. Best wishes that this surgery works. Giuliana needs a better year in 2012, STAT.

Dish's doppleganger Shaun White was caught bare-assed in racy photos. Do not pose nude if you're a celebrity. And especially not if you're a red-head and a celebrity. The jokes last forever.

Rosie O'Donnell is engaged but Karina Smirnoff is no longer. RHoBH Kim Richards has entered rehab. For what, Dish asks? I thought she was just a drunk, but on a recent episode she revealed she was a pill-popper. All those meds seemed valid to me. Trazodone, Lexipro and Topamax = depression, anxiety, seizure, those are the essentials. If sobriety means her no longer jerking and slurring and wearing those neck-hiding blouses with the 80s tie, I'm against it!