Broadway Bound!

Dish accomplished some good things in the last 24 hours. Got to catch up with Dishmama and Dishstepfather--and eat a secret Snickers on the train home. So much happened while I was gone. TG went to Chelsea Piers to exercise. Barky newsman Sam Donaldson was arrested for DUI. Can't a guy have a few drinks and operate dangerous machinery in peace? 

Gossip Girl has finally been revealed. I gave up on GG last season but even I wanted to know. It was pretty logical, this person's being the one. I will miss Blair and Chuck. In times of stress, I will say, "I'm Chuck Bass."

Did you see that Carmen Electra and Simon Cowell are dating? Yeah, not in a million years do I believe this but hey, nice work if you can get it. One relationship that seems to be in trouble: Bethenny and Jason. All the rags have them divorcing immediately. Sadly, Dish saw this coming. When you begin your relationship on a reality show, it can't survive past that contract.

A propos of nothing, whenever I hear a tap-tap-tap anywhere, I think it's Dishcat about the hurl. #PTSD

Jersey Boys for me tonight!

Can't You Feel the Love in this Picture?

My fairy godmother had a special Julia movie delivered to me for the weekend. In 1994, I was chasing cyclists, using email for the first time, signing up for a master's program and hearing all about how Julia and Nick Nolte hated working with each other on I Love Trouble. In this flick, he looks semi-normal, but you kinda don't want to see them kiss. Poor Julia. I can't wait to watch this mess!!!

The condition of Dish: Still aching over missing the mini-DD concert. Do you think Simon has stopped crying and forgiven me for staying in the a/c and watching The Shield with TG?

Speaking of Simons, today I pondered Simon Cowell and the rumor he's had plastic surgery. The man must have engaged in Botox, but perhaps having heaps of $$ necessitates severe procedures. I see my sags and don't blame him one bit. But is it lonely at the top, Simon? Two failed engagements to women. So much pressure to reinvigorate his brand. I keep wanting him and Seacrest to give in to the sexual tension simmering between them. The hottub is just right.

Recently divorced James Marsden, whom I always thought was gay talented, knocked up a brazilian model, i.e. the kryptonite for most actors, musicians and sports figures. Children, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

The Curry firing furor still keeps everyone guessing. She's pretty classy to keep on going. Will remember her cool as I'm in the enemy's sights.

Gerard Butler Is Enjoying Himself. Stop Him!

First he's singing in bars, now he's whooping it up at Coachella. Gotta keep close watch on him because stars cannot have fun, especially once they leave rehab. Especially if they are adults. For stars, adulthood usually begins around 32 but ends suddenly at 40. In the fifth decade, stars become sad (but potentially interesting at long last). The salary plummets and desperate antics make for excellent headlines. Oh Gerard. Do a great movie, fast...Get rid of the skanky hair. Dish has seen you in the hood during better days. You can do better!

Bones: The Culture guy from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy starred and stunk up the place. J.J. would have been much better as the evil hairguru. Kidding, getting hair done this weekend. I'm thinking highlights.

So...Simon Cowell is not marrying is fiancee? I need a tranquilizer.

Most important question: How will I resist watching Smash? So bad, so good, so bad.