Broadway Bound!

Dish accomplished some good things in the last 24 hours. Got to catch up with Dishmama and Dishstepfather--and eat a secret Snickers on the train home. So much happened while I was gone. TG went to Chelsea Piers to exercise. Barky newsman Sam Donaldson was arrested for DUI. Can't a guy have a few drinks and operate dangerous machinery in peace? 

Gossip Girl has finally been revealed. I gave up on GG last season but even I wanted to know. It was pretty logical, this person's being the one. I will miss Blair and Chuck. In times of stress, I will say, "I'm Chuck Bass."

Did you see that Carmen Electra and Simon Cowell are dating? Yeah, not in a million years do I believe this but hey, nice work if you can get it. One relationship that seems to be in trouble: Bethenny and Jason. All the rags have them divorcing immediately. Sadly, Dish saw this coming. When you begin your relationship on a reality show, it can't survive past that contract.

A propos of nothing, whenever I hear a tap-tap-tap anywhere, I think it's Dishcat about the hurl. #PTSD

Jersey Boys for me tonight!

Wasn't Matt Bomer amazing on Glee?

Best line: "I'm going to pour you a tall glass of 'this is how it is.'" I've never seen White Collar, but Bomer is freaking funny. His chemistry with Criss worked well, too. If the show could be just Jane, Darren and Matt, I'd be happy. Dish lost consciousness seeing Jane Lynch sing along to "Rio." Jane and Duran Duran combined: like farting/sneezing at the same time, i.e. too much happiness released in one moment. I couldn't take it.

As brilliant as he is, Alec Baldwin can't seem to escape his woman problems (I can't quit Altoids). The drama over his alleged stalker continues. Alec sarcasti-Tweeted about The Post's mean girl (whom I find wildly entertaining) Andrea Peyser's journalistic integrity. She answered with an even more vicious column. Dish's advice for Alec: Ditch Yoga and knock AP's boots already! JK. It's hard when Mommy and Daddy fight.

During my lunch break, had to see on Radaronline 10 female celebrities with cellulite, not to judge but to relate...heavily. We mortals can sometimes share a bond more meaningful than a 25M movie deal. It's called cottage cheese legs.

Gossip Girl: Dishcousin and I agreed that Rufus put his balls in a Dixie cup and handed them to Lily when they got married. Must look to Dan and Chuck for seething masculinity in contemporary elitist Manhattan. Blair and Lily continue to be my imaginary BFFs.

Smash (spoiler alert): Shining moment occurs as Anjelica Huston sucks face with the handsome bartender from All My Children. I was a little turned on and repulsed, as I would be watching DishGramma kissing George Clooney. I like the idea but the image would embed itself in my consciousness, felling me during random moments.

I Wish...

...Right now, I wish I were really, really rich. I wouldn't need to do any cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, or obsessing about paying bills. I could go on vacation and do other super-expensive things. To escape my penury, I've embarked on a Gossip Girl marathon and now see its cleverness (love Lily). Feel Chase Crawford would have been much prettier as a girl.

TG and I watched I Loved You So Long, a depressing French movie. Since I put him through Love Actually, I sat through this one where Kristin Scott Thomas stares wanly into the distance (love her, though) and speaks lovely French and looks beautiful and tortured. Dish has seen so many French movies. So many.

To cheer myself after a movie about child murder, I am cozying up with Scotty Bowers's Full Service about sexcapades in Hollywood.

Jessica Simpson's Ex's Wife Is Also Preggooo!

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Milli Vanilli Lachey confirmed that they have a bun in the oven! This is the most exciting thing they've done since Nick and Jessica had their own reality show. Snooki too--pregnated. I'm surprised we haven't seen footage of morning sickness.

Kim Kardashian has given twice the amount of her wedding gifts to charity. Allegedly, she got 100K worth of gifts, which seems low. Wonder if return of so many gifts would be logistical nightmare and perhaps double donation to charity the best thing. Dish is such a good organizer, those gifts would have been returned within a week of last Halloween when the news broke. Lost opportunities. Let's all forgive and forget.

I'm watching Gossip Girl and am now writing in Blair Waldorf for President.

Evan Rachel Wood is out-acting everyone in Mildred Pierce. Dish started out life as the spoiled and bratty Veda, but something happened on the way to the forum. Fewer headaches for everyone.