A Day of Mourning

Something upsetting has happened. Yes, Tony Curtis--an OMP legend--died, Rahm Emmanuel is leaving Obama and Jimmy Carter felt pukey on a plane to Cleveland (I feel that way too when I near Ohio) but this will cause of a tremor of pain through the land. Asslips has her own reality show. I walked home and almost smacked into a billboard. Then another one. "She's wild. He's wild about her." Lisa Rinna strikes a bosomy asslips pose while Harry Hamlin does the "I'm with stupid" point at his wife. Be prepared not to set your DVRs. Okay, I might watch out of morbid curiosity. Wonder if it will have a perky, upbeat tone with Harry hanging around in pajama bottoms and her feeling frisky.

Celebrities Are Making It Very Hard For...

...normal people to take pharmaceuticals. Comedian Greg Giraldo accidentally overdosed this past weekend and passed away. What's more, he did it fairly close to DishHome. One never knows what's happening in the next room. So sad--young person, so much potential, tragedy. Blessings on his coming and going.

Dish spent most of the day looking at a screen. Maybe I took a slight detour to watch Anaconda, where Jon Voight makes us bleed from the ears with some kind of accent (Paraguay? It comes and goes, as do most non-Native accents in movies) and lots of scenery chewing. He's so bad, TG and I couldn't look away. Luckily, our J.Lo survives but not before being pursued by every kind of snake (hmmmmm). All the remotely ethnic characters avoid the fatal snake hug: J.Lo (Puerto Rican), Ice Cube (African American) and Eric Stoltz (the rare male gingy moviestar). All is neatly tied up, though TG and I were heartbroken that Owen Wilson got sucked into the neverending esophagus of Anaconda!

26 minutes into Hellcats. Go Ashley Tisdale!

The Britney Episode?

Watching Glee, I'm heartened by how nostalgia can brush away mediocrity. Britney affects us beyond the music. It has to be beyond the music. TG likes the song "Womanizer," only he sings "Moisturizer." He loves how a hit is made by repeating the same word. I for one like "Oops, I Did It Again" because that's when I first got into Britney and her skin-tight red suit. Plus, in the video, she's a b*tch, a nice foil to Dish. Britney is here to stay. Um, is there going to be a Duran Duran episode?

Olio: Dish got her annual mammogram and looked so good in the dark pink robe it almost left in her purse. Elijah Wood just split from his long-time girlfriend after five years (we know what that means). George Lopez and his wife are divorcing after 17 years--even after she gave him a kidney. Lastly, another Gordon Ramsey chef committed suicide and condolences to his family. For some people, it's the worst of times.

The Nora Walker Show (Brothers & Sisters) definitely jumped the shark. The offspring are doing nothing great, Sally isn't banging anyone and the vibe isn't there. At least Gilles Marini did what he does best: modeled in his underwear. I love how the transition to this job--from artist to underwear model--was non-existent. Yeah, Sunday's show made no sense.

Open Letter to Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Dear Demi and Ashton,

Open letters to the stars are the thing these days, so here goes: I was born in Ohio during a time that could only be described as volatile. LBJ might have been in office, but I'd have to Wikipedia that. The riots in Paris turned students into warriors. On the blessed day of my birth, my mother cried because I was so ugly, though I would turn into a beauty weeks later when my head regained a normal shape. Ever since, I've given my family such joy--Oh wait, this is not about me. Demi and Ashton, I don't care about the cheating rumors or the media's promise of more scandals. Please stop making sh*tty movies! I lost ninety minutes from The Joneses and, Ashton, following you on Twitter has made my life hell. Katharine Hepburn vomited from her grave over Guess Who, as did Sidney Poitier even though he's still alive. I enjoy you both and have seen potential come to life. Demi, your movies have been iconic--from your overalls in Ghost to your sexually harassing Michael Douglas in Disclosure. Your voice and inky black hair are the stuff of legend. And Ashton, Punk'd is beyond brilliant (waiting for you to land a great role in a movie). I hope you work out your problems since you're a nice couple. Do better projects so that I can praise you.

Unblemished,
Dish

Desperate Housewives

I love it when Lynette is featured on DH because Felicity Huffman can act. This season has plenty of potential--with eunic Kyle McLaughlin gone, Gaby's chubby daughter not her child, and the gorgeous Vanessa Williams coming to stay. I hope she can do more than be bitchy as on Ugly Betty (I have a hard time buying it, she looks so nice!). Teri Hatcher's boobs look enormous this season and please God, let Mike the plumber go on that oil rig in Alaska so that someone more exciting can sneak into her bed. I love this show mostly because TG is riveted and can forget his troubles for a while. Brothers & Sisters on next. Nora Walker is a healing balm for our souls.

Dish tried to do home-made wedding invitations this weekend. They looked very home-made, as in bad.

The Back-Up Plan

What would life be like without another open letter to Lindsay Lohan? It's how the stars communicate. Candy Spelling to her daughter. Michael Lohan to Lindsay. Now Perez to Lindsay. Why not send a letter through the US Post Office?

You know America is a great place when you see a movie in which Robert Klein plays J.Lo's gynecologist and Linda Lavin plays her grandmother. The Back-Up Plan is a little sucky but at least you reap the above mentioned nuggets. And you get to see J.Lo pee on a stick, which the dog eats and then vomits. Nestled in the chunks of canine spew is the stick which indicates J.Lo's pregnancy.

Dish bought Anaconda for $5.99 at Duane Reade. J.Lo's finest work aside from Out of Sight.

Dish Ready to Sleep But

...whole lotta crap happened today. Eddie Fisher died. Hard to know what he did beyond ruining his marriage to Debbie Reynolds and being father to Carrie Fisher. Lindsay went to jail and let's hope she stays there (and gets help). And more gay rumors about John Travolta. I get the sneaking suspicion a movie is due out or maybe it's his babies via Kelly Preston. Why upset a pregnant woman?

A Week of Television

Thanks, JJ, for the tip to watch Mike & Molly, a refreshing and romantic sitcom starring plus-sized actors (Billy Gardell and Melissa McCarthy)with hot chemistry. We're not talking Roseanne and John Goodman. These two have actual sexual chemistry and imagining them in bed together is not so terrifying the way it is with two skeletons squeaking and breaking bones in a king sized bed, which you see every day on TV. I found myself aching for Mike & Molly to get together even more than I would Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston Angelina Jolie. Let's reject the skeletors on television! Who can't identify with overeating? Dish grew up a ball of lard until magic weight loss at 22 [no dining hall].

Today's interview with new AI judges J.Lo and Steven Tyler: I expected more sparkle. No one seems willing to be an a-hole. Simon is rolling in his money grave. Highlight: Steven said he fell in love with J.LO while watching The Back-Up Plan. That's like saying you enjoyed John Travolta in "The Bubble Boy." [aside: remember circa 1977-8 when there were rumors Travolta was hooking up with Lily Tomlin?] J.Lo looked like she was wearing a big ol wig.

Do you believe the rumors about Ashton cheating on Demi? People are acting as if this is a shocking story. What I find more upsetting is Jennifer Hudson's weight loss from Weight Watchers. She was already gorgeous!

Rumor has it Mel Gibson is in talks to appear on Mad Men. I hate him, think he's bananas, but this is brilliant casting.

Dish Is a Real Working Housewife

Late to post. Waited all day for Gale Harold's appearance on Hellcats. Very nice academic Brian Kinney. I missed the first ten minutes due to a glamorous event for which I had JJ blow out the hair. Will catch when Hellcats is reaired on Friday (it's sad). Must also watch the premiere of Modern Family, which I also sort of missed. A busy day. I understand why Real Housewives are so busy. In addition to work, I had to get hair done, go to the gym, buy some nice shoes and pick out my clothes. It's 10:08 and I'm exhausted.

JK!

Remember how Stephanie Seymour and her OMP were battling it out in court? Never mind! They decided she still wanted his bazillions and he still cherished her gazongas--I mean, they're still gaga in love! 20$ says more drama is in store. I'm bleeding from the eyes.

I've loathed The Situation for almost a year now but after last night's Dancing With the Stars, I can see his charm (miles beyond the Hasselhoff Freak Machine who was beyond creepy!). TS dances like a scarecrow but he looked as if he were having a blast. Jennifer Grey's dance flowed nicely and I might have shed a tear over the Swayze nostalgia. It's a little predictable, though, and I won't watch another episode.

Glee: love the new female football coach (played by Dot Jones)! Epic Sue. The new blond boy evokes Randy Harris in Queer As Folk. The common viewer would say Bieber, but I say Justin!

We Need You*

I won't hire violins to play "Rio" at my wedding. Taking up an instrument and recording it myself would ruin everything. My ponytail-musician cousin is on the road with Bob Schneider so he's no help. Can't do another Google search of "Duran Duran" and "elevator music." I just want a recording. Duran Duran or silence.

Divorce gets ugly as Stephanie Seymour fights her OMP ex in court. Stephanie was always my favorite Victoria's Secret model--in the days when she was on Axl's arm. In the catalog, she always posed as if she wanted it up the ass. I bought many a sheer nightie and fishnet stocking thanks to her.

Welcome back to Cindy Adams who returns to the Post after four months in a hospital. I missed her bitching!

Booze-addled wrestler Chyna was rushed to the hospital this morning for alcohol poisoning and Lindsay is under arrest. Alex from the Dr. Phil family gave birth to a meth baby. Thanks to Ted's experience on QAF, Dish could never do meth. Math is another story.

*a good alternative if "Rio" doesn't work, though I'm this close to giving up.

I Have a Good Life

During my run I listened to "Escape" (aka The Pina Colada Song), thought of Lindsay and Paris during the lyric: I'm not much into health food, I am into cocaine. Maybe I rewrote that a little.

Five days of insomnia--cat landing on chest at 3am and every hour after--is better than what Spartacus star Andy Whitfield's battles, Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma (I think diseases are capitalized but not trees) and has to leave the show. All the best to him and others dealing with this awfulness. It puts little things into perspective.

Speaking of little things, there's some kind of spat between Tim Gunn and Anna Wintour. I'm not sure what it is, something about her being carried down stairs (sign me up for that), but I take the side of Gunn and am ready to die. At least I change my hairstyle every few years.

Congratulations to Top Gun and The Accused star Kelly McGillis who married her longtime girlfriend.

Finally, here's a nice bedtime story from Bill Maher with some juicy Christine O'Donnell blather. I adore the Tea Party! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nECxQUi_pr0&feature=player_embedded

Hello, Kathy!

I've finally got around to reading fellow Gingy Kathy Griffin's Official Book Club Selection and it's FANTASTIC! It's not as dishy as you might think but just enough. You learn Steve Martin is a dick, so is Leif Garrett and Andre Agassi. Al Sharpton is amazing and so are Jeanine Garofalo, Margaret Cho and Brooke Shields (though you kinda already knew this). At the same time, the story is heartfelt. You see her as a vulnerable, interesting person and not just a joke machine with the voice.

In movie viewing, Dish had the misfortune of watching Who Is Clark Rockefeller? starring Eric McCormick and The Chickipoo from ER with the monotone voice. Talk about a suck-fest! I enjoy Eric on Will & Grace and I even believed he was a tormented bachelor in that Lifetime movie with Roma Downey. But he was truly unbelievable in this, very much an acty caricature. Not even worth a rent. But you know, every actor does stinky projects. Even Michael Caine.

For tomorrow, I have The Ghostwriter. Must forgive Pierce Brosnan for his crappy singing in Mamma Mia, especially since he was great in The Thomas Crown Affair.

Star Sighting--Twilight's Peter Facinelli

23rd/7th Ave, 5:02pm: Dish was in full business-suit regalia, salivating over the possibility of a latte when lo Peter Facinelli whizzed by. He looks about 25 years old, very cute in a college-boy sort of way. No eye contact made even with Dish boring a hole through him. Hard to believe he's father to three kids, though no problem visualizing him with her royal 90210 highness gorgeous Jenny Garth.

The Lord giveth and He taketh away: Lindsay failed a drug test, but then she's scheduled not to make us laugh on SNL this December. Can't they just have Jane Lynch host for the entire fall?

Shock through the heart: Because we don't care enough to buy her projects, Nadya Suleman is going on welfare. Better yet would be to let these children grow up in a loving home where they're not part of a factory. TG and I could easily take one, though it better not touch any of our beer.

Happy Anniversary to Me and TG!

A year ago today, a feisty Dish saw TG's Facebook update ("It's all depressing...") and "Liked" it. Every other TGFriend asked, "Aw, what's wrong?" or "Are you okay?" Dish enjoyed TG's public misery, thus proving worthy of his love. It's been an exciting year with a lot of laughter (and a fabulous ring!).

By contrast, the rumor mill says the end is imminent in the Annette Bening/Warren Beatty marriage. Their daughter wants to become a man. Annette is trying to be supportive and Warren can't deal. Poor daughter, who must feel like an imposter and if they split, she'll think it's all her fault. Unloving fathers can leave a nasty scar but maybe the daughter will be happy in the end. As for Annette, she should ditch the crotchetty coot and go for someone hotter and younger. All of Hollywood is doing it. (I realize I know nothing about these people)

Omarosa and Michael Clarke Duncan are allegedly dating. I find her irritating but wish her the best. Cute couple and it gets them back in the news. Don't think either was doing much lately.

The Ides of September

Oh hell. Just as I'm writing this, I realize I'm missing Hellcats. TG and I decided to be cultivated and watch Changing Times (2004) starring a less portly Gerard Depardieu and wide-jawed Catherine Deneuve. After an hour, we realized it was a piece of crap with some good craftsmanship. Vomiting, diarrhea, effed up love affair and, surely, by the end someone will die in the middle of a wasteland. Vive la France! We nixed it.

So, lots of buzz about Ashton Kutcher's potential cheating, which might be the only thing he doesn't do on Twitter. Dish stopped following him and life got much easier. J.Lo will be on American Idol, thank God because we were worried no one would be supporting Max and Emme since the Cryptkeeper Marc Anthony ain't doing much except being creepy arm candy. Then I read Diane Lane and Bon Jovi used to be an item, which makes sense since they were both equally gorgeous twenty-some years ago (well, still it's a draw). JJ went to high school with Bon and said he was a huge geek. Well, both of them turned out cute so who cares?

Les Politiques!

Beaucoup de news! Les Tea Partee Candidates winnent les offices in quelques states, which means que les Democrats vont winner when it counts parce que le Tea Partay sont tres crazee. Plus important, Oprah send son audience de screaming femmes a Australia et John Travolta va flyer le plane! Theme song pour le trip: Staying Alive.

Rumors has it que Mr. Moustache Himself Tom Selleck film dans le Woolworth Building area de New York tomorrow. Dish est tres tres jalouse de ne pas etre there but j'ai have to work autrepart. Dans autres sundry claims, Josh Brolin maintain qu'il ne beat pas le sh*t out of Diane Lane. Je hate to say it but je pense que c'est un effed up marriage. Un autre effed up marriage, les rumours existent que Ken Pave et Jessica Simpson ne sont plus BFF. What about le magique en India? C'est tragique quand le pop star separate avec son hairstylist.

Maintenant, TG play avec les paws de TGCat. Peace et Joie dans le home de Dish.

US Open--Finally, The Men's Final

My stomach is in knots over the men's final of the US Open. Nadal has to win over Djokovich. He is more skilled, works harder in his weak areas, doesn't bitch&moan, is more professional and he's Spanish. The Spaniards have won all year. Nadal has never won the US Open. It's his time.

I turned off the VMAs after Justin Bieber's performance, which was slick but horrifically lip-synched. Don't singers sing anymore? Glad that Gaga won an award. It amazes me how strong the tide is against Chelsea Handler--or any award show host, for that matter. If you host, you're destined to be slaughtered in the press.

Rumors abound again that Penelope Cruz has a sopapilla in the oven. From pictures, she does look as big as a house but maybe she's just fat. My gay boyfriends are all in heat over Bardem and maintain that any pregnancy between them did not happen the old-fashioned way.

A Duran Duran Plea

Dish is determined to walk down the aisle to Duran Duran's "Rio." But of course, it should be instrumental and slower. If anyone knows of such a version of "Rio," please comment and point me in the right direction!

After 26 years of full-on obsession, I deserve to have that music playing when I'm about to get married, n'est-ce pas? Picture it: a swanky NYC venue, lots of unsuspecting family and friends waiting for appropriate music until strains of a familiar, much more fun song as I walk down the aisle. TG and family might be mortified but I am only doing this once. This is the only issue that will make me a bridezilla.

I will reward the winning helper with a copy of my 50-page typed high school term paper on the band.

Sunday Potpourri

Filmmaker Claude Chabrol has passed away. I loved Claude because he brought some great divas together in movies, such as La Cérémonie with Jacqueline Bisset and Isabelle Huppert. Une Affaire de Femmes is also quite powerful. Dish was in Paris when that one came out and my teacher at the time said I looked like Huppert. I wish!!! Blessings on Chabrol's coming and going.

So, we all yawned collectively over Joachin Phoenix's I'm Still Here appearing in theaters. A brilliant actor, he decided to become weird and try to develop buzz but the viewing public was onto him ages ago.

With too many episodes of Snapped and Criminal Minds giving us nightmares, TG and I turned to Hellcats on the CW. Okay, the real reason is that Gale Harold is supposed to make an appearance as a professor (tee hee). TG asked who "Gale Howard" was again: my former imaginary boyfriend before I had to break up with him for Jon Hamm. Sadly, Jon and I didn't have any imaginary chemistry so I went back to Gale. Gale didn't appear on Episode 1 but, lo and behold, Gail O'Grady did! She is my Lifetime goddess, except it's obvious she had major amounts of face work done, which broke my heart. Hellcats is a delight and I recommend it as fun fluff. Ashley Tisdale also stars.

Now onto the VMAs where the average IQ drops to about 50.

9/11

I probably shouldn't say this, but in addition to mourning the catastrophic events of 9/11, I also remembered that John Ritter died on 9/11/03 and what a sad loss. Loved him especially in Sling Blade. I will trip over the couch and fall on my face in his honor.

Today, Federer's loss sent me headlong into an emergency dose of seltzer and peanut butter crackers. A US Open Federer-Nadal match is out of the question and I never warmed up to Djokovich. Nadal all the way tomorrow!

A tragic occurrence: Kevin Jonas snores so loudly his new wife is sleeping in the guest room. As someone who has lived with others with sleep apnea, just wear the goddamn Darth Vader breathing mask, Kevin. It's not sexy but it's better than choking on your own flesh. More sadness in that Bristol Palin is supposedly missing some of her rehearsals for Dancing with the Stars. Ready for some embarrassing wooden dancing?

Tomorrow is tennis and the VMAs. Dreading references to Kanye's bad behavior. He needs no more attention. Happy September 12th to everyone.

Farenheit in Florida

Here's something to burn: the clothes worn on the Jersey Shore. So glad it's after Labor Day since skanky beachwear and fake boobs can be boxed and covered. I'll get this out of my system: At lunch, my dining partner and I discussed how uninteresting Lindsay Lohan is. Didn't have much of a career before she became a public screwup. Child actors should be replaced by robots. You get about the same amount of talent.

Happier news: Peter Krause and Lauren Graham seem to be a couple. It's a trade-up from Matthew Perry who has lost his chin and his career (though I have hope). Lastly, the world mourns as Amanda Bynes, star of the iconic What a Girl Wants, has deleted her Twitter account.

Dish Is Back Online!

A light at the end of the tunnel: Verizon appeared at a decent time, power restored. Back to keeping up with my celebs, TG and I can stop watching Criminal Minds and, holy bananas, who's this weirdo wanting to burn the Koran? If it were a smart weirdo proving an actual point (aside from spreading more hate), I might think he had freedom of expression. But this guy sounded like an inarticulate jackass!

In any case, more important things: Madonna took the F train. Love her for any reason but she should be praised for suffering one of the most unreliable lines in the city. A true New York girl.

The National Enquirer just outed Jim Parsons. I always say there's a fine line between Gay and Geek.

On a sadder note Rich Cronin of LFO died of Leukemia...and Hugh Grant just got a year older, poor puss.

More Mercury

It's criminal that Dish should resort to leeching off Dishmama's Wi-fi while Verizon collects $$$ and doesn't fix the phone after four days. But do I ever complain? Probably not enough beyond passive-aggressive blogging.

Serendipiditelliously, in proper head-covering attire (and fabulous dark eyeshadow) Angelina Jolie visited flood victims in Pakistan. Keep helping others, AJ! It makes the Lindsays, Snookis and Mels look even more pathetic. Continuing upheaval on the housewives of New Jersey--who is coming/not coming back for another tacky season. The table-flipper might not return and we already know mentally challenged (as in IQ of below 80) Danielle is out of there. There are flutterings that Halle Berry may be canoodling with Unfaithful's Olivier Martinez. ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Via DVD, Dish did Jillian Michaels's butch yoga workout. She kept touching the other yoga girls to "fix their form" and repeated "that's my girl!" to the hot blonde. Who knew yoga could be so lesbionic and aerobic? As with her buns workout, Jillian kicked my butt.

Scary Saintly Angelina

I keep thinking: What big thing is about to blow in celebrity-land? It's been the same story: Lindsay, Mel, drugs, cheating, housewife, drugs, cheating, divorce, baby bump, charity drive. My No-DSL vacation might be for the best. I've been immersed in Andrew Morton's biography on Angelina Jolie, which makes me see how screwed up her whole family is. I mean, REALLY screwed up, beyond what I could imagine for her. With each page, I grow more tired, sad over her life and wondering what will happen next. As expected, she's super-complex and it's hard to envision all the phases she's survived. For me, she's too big to watch on screen anymore and I can't see her as a character. Nor do the people in her life seem much more than props. She's left behind lots of buried bodies. To wrap my mind around the whole history, I have to see her as a humanitarian in the end, for all the traveling and charity work she does, which is impressive.

Angelina is definitely both a destructive and creative force. And when you talk destructive, I mean, super-destructive, as in someone must have been watching over her. And creative for being able to change so powerfully. I enjoy her earlier work the most: Gia and The Bone Collector. Hope she continues to pursue charity with a passion, but I'm glad I never crossed paths with her in high school as she would have stepped on me...and I'm so much older than she is.

Mercury In Retrograde

Dish apologizes for the two-day absence. Thanks to Verizon, I have no DSL in my apartment, thus am relying on a nomadic schedule to post. All I can say is %&$*%&$! Verizon claims no one can fix it for several days. If I didn't have a cell phone and I accidentally broke my leg and chopped my hand off, I'd have to limp to the hospital myself or ask my neighbor--who hates me--to collect and deliver me. All I can say is: I'm changing to Sprint, you Verizon a-holes!!!

Housewives

I just saw the ad for The Real Beverly Hills Housewives. All the women have long tresses spilling over their breasts. Doesn't anyone have chin-length hair anymore or is the long hair a desperate desire to appear young? They're all clad in evening dresses, too, the kind Vanna White wears to turn the letters. Why does "housewife" seem synonymous with "trashy" on TV? Can one of them wear a suit or get a pixie?

My happy thought for the day is that finally Kate Winslet is dating someone attractive. After years of being the pretty one in the relationship, she is seen around town with model Louis Dowler, who is the vinegar to Kate's baking soda. TNT hotness!

Dish Said Yes to the Dress!

My search for the perfect wedding dress is over. It only took three stores and two hours of fitting and measuring. We never had the moment where Dishmama looked at me and cried. I didn't get misty because shopping is not an activity that ever makes me cry unless I have low blood sugar. But it was fun to try on huge marshmallow gowns and pose in front of so many mirrors. I put on one unlikely yet gorgeous gown and it *felt* right, like MY dress. Perhaps, Dish subconsciously chose her dress because of two great dresses in film. I would list them down but little Mr. Nosy-Groom might snoop.

Back to celeb news: Jesse James + Kat Von D = a lot of ink. JJ's affair with Bombshell McGee points toward his having a type. Why did he marry Sandra Bullock in the first place? Obviously, he had a rash of good taste and good luck (rash is a fine word). Didn't he intend to wait for SB? Is his new love aware of what she's getting? People have needs, I guess--especially if they have tattoos. SB is probably thinking: Ugh, thank Gawwwwwd. But kinda sick that he moved to her hometown. In interviews they will claim that they want the best for each other and they've worked on healing from all the pain.

By the way, does anyone know if there's an instrumental version of Duran Duran's "Rio"--say one that would be good for Dish walking down the aisle?

Hillary Clinton's Sexy New Hair!

She makes Middle East peace negotiations muy caliente. Loving the longer, shaped hair and some zestier fashions (i.e. wild green rehearsal dinner dress). Is Hillary going through a new phase? Whatever it is, we like it!

Happy Birthday, Keanu Reeves!

What a blessed day when Keanu rushed into the world crying, "Dude." He's shined a bright light into our lives with legendary celluloid: Little Buddha, My Own Private Idaho, Parenthood, Chain Reaction, Babes in Toyland, Point Break, Speed, The Matrix, and The Lake House. Bravo! (Keep your hands off him, Charlize Theron!!! Just because you're beautiful, blond and talented, doesn't mean you can have EVERYTHING!!!)

Rumor has it Harvey Keitel might take over for Steve Carrell in The Office. An inspired choice. Maybe add Christopher Walken? Troubling is that Michael Douglas's cancer is more serious than we'd thought. Sending all healing vibes to Gordon Gekko!

The Hours in Chelsea

It's the dark ages for Dish but not so bad that I'd put rocks in my pockets and go for a swim. That's such a lame way to die anyway, and it would take boulders to sink Dish. I'm getting pummeled from all sides but worse nastiness has entered my life. I have a lot to be thankful for (namely TG, DM, Dishbrother and friends). I should probably summon Ari from Entourage as my muse. No weepy Nicole Kidman with bad prosthetic nose.

FYI--Seriously investigating how to incorporate Duran Duran during the wedding.