I Hate to Break It To You...

...but there is nothing going on today*. We are so bored. TG is listening to a Rabbi and Muslim debate Jesus on Youtube. We're one step away from watching Small Town Security, except Dish erased them before TG could find them in our queue.

I was so bored, celebrity-wise, I searched for updates on Nick Rhodes's health. The word "exhaustion" always raises a red flag for me, but I can't believe Master Rhodes would ever, ever abuse his body with anything other than cigarettes, vino and vegetarianism. I found no news and can only pray he recovers swiftly with B-12 shots and a few days' rest. On the treadmill, I wondered what I'd do if one of the Durans got really ill. I don't know how I'd cope. You hear about illness all the time but when it hits someone close to you...

I need to eat dinner.

Congratulations to Rosie O'Donnell on her marriage. I managed to see a snippet of Kelsey Grammer and his new wife interviewed by Oprah. Just bizarre, but she seems nice. Jennie Garth has lost a lot of weight (boo), looks haggard amidst all the praise for her skinniness.

TG is cooking. Who needs to be deathly thin when someone is willing to cook for you?

*Except for Isaac's "surges" and the Republican Convention.

Prince Harry's Hairy Unveiling

It was only a matter of time, right? Some racy nude photos have surfaced of His Royal Firecrotch's time in Vegas and I must say he works out FOR SHAME, Dish's Favorite Rascally Royal! Dish used to do similar unveilings at age 2. Once, I ran out into the snow stark naked. The British monarchy had it good for a few years and now it's f*cked again.

I feel like the world is going to hell and December 21, 2012, that much closer to our demise. Rosie O'Donnell had a heart attack, and in last night's Bachelor Pad, that evil Erica sent home a beloved character. This is probably why Amanda Bynes got into another car accident.

Oh...and Hilary Swank is single again. She's such a serial monogamist. I don't have fun following her love life. Dish needs more tumult, the essential ingredient in any celebrity relationship.

And now, to bed before the vampires take my blood in the morning...

The Plastic Surgery Is Out of Control!

TG and I settled in for a nice cozy viewing of Entertainment Tonight. Someone resembling Nancy O'Dell sat in the anchor seat. It sounded like her. Sort of seemed like her but no way was it my favorite blond perkfest of yore. She must have had major work done in the facial area--and she was cute as bug's ear as is. I guess it's part of the job but I'm so glad I can look like crap and remain employed.

Speaking of old fogeys, when will sports teams ever learn? So Peyton Manning, whom I adore, might be going to the Denver Broncos, which means Tebow may be traded. Does this make sense? Bring in injured, aging players to replace younger stars of tomorrow? The Yankees are doing the same thing bringing Andy Pettite back to pitch. Can't they do as Hollywood does and look for younger talent on the rise? Let's Moneyball this.

Donald Trump is dissing Rosie again. She got him good on The View oh so long ago, but his words of her not keeping a job echo in ad finitum et nauseam. When she got fired from Oprah, the first thing I thought was that Trump's prophecy seemed to be coming true. I call a major bonfire to exorcise Trump's bad juju and make Rosie a glorious being filled with light.

In happy news, Josh Lucas got hitched. My wish for him is 1. that he is blissful in his marriage. 2. that he's cast as Matthew McConaughey's brother since they are identical (though Josh looks as if he bathes).

No Appetite for The Hunger Games

I'm getting under the covers until The Hunger Games goes away. Too many colleagues are buzzing, it's on the cover of People, the costumes/makeup look weird and I cannot wait for normal movies to return. Couple this with another dark Johnny Depp movie, all the freaking Snow White flicks and I want to dive into a pool of non-3-D reality. I read the first few pages of The Hunger Games and like a fussy baby, I couldn't latch on. Is this the season's Twilight only apocalyptic? Also, the movie poster of Jennifer Lawrence about to launch an arrow, well, it brought back the trauma of Kevin Costner's Robin Hood movie. Archery should be confined to Geena Davis and action movies where the villain is particularly twisted.

Stars with Potentially Bad Personalities:

More Tiger Woods dirty laundry is being aired by his former coach Hank Haney. If you didn't think Tiger was a tool before, Hank states that Tiger devoured porn and demanded that staff follow him, even before they finished their meals. Dish sees Woods's failing as simply a lack of character.

Staffers are starting to trash Rosie over her OWN show. Who knows where the truth lies, though she really hasn't maintained anything steady since her own show in the late 90s--which everyone loved. Now she's kind of this polarizing celeb. I like her when she's *on*. Wish she were still on The View instead of Hasselbeck. I just do.

Kris Jenner Tweeted her naked pregnant self to celebrate her son's birthday, covering up her melons, of course. Oedipus lives. I'd be so mortified, but as a celebriholic, I'm thrilled.

This Really Scares Me

I'm all for Julia playing a bad guy, but this...this is bordering on Elizabeth and we can't have that. Oh, Julia. She might have a heart of gold underneath the wickedness. After all, she's just a girl, standing in front of a princess, asking her to love her wicked stepmother.

I've reached an age where I can't stand yelling. I love my Rosie O'Donnell but am reluctant to invest in her next show (was devastated twice when she left) just because of the yelling. Bethenny Frankel was enjoyable on RHoNY, the single underdog who worked hard. Then she shot to fame and is now yelling all the time, complaining about how busy she is. And now...I guess she claims she was lost at sea. This article cracked me up. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/07/bethenny-frankel-lost-at-sea-story-scam-lies_n_1000571.html?ref=mostpopular

Al Sharpton is for Occupy Wall Street, which means that TG is now on board.