Reality Suicide

Holy freaking crapwagons: Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Taylor Armstrong's husband Russell committed suicide, found dead last night. It seems severe financial problems and recent divorce filing pushed him over the edge. Yish. I'm sure having your entire life scrutinized on reality TV didn't help! Poor bastard. It's just awful that his three kids will have to live with this. There's a ton of blame going around, but Dish feels that suicide is one person's fault. Some people have a breaking point when it comes to dealing with hellish circumstances.

In lighter news: Jessica Simpson is not preggo most likely because she was seen staggering drunk recently. So, the bottom line is that she's just F*A*T, as in a normal weight by most of our standards. Enjoy it, girl!

I'm just happy that Sean Hayes is back on TV soon with a new series where he plays a gay dad raising a child with his partner. On NBC! Can life get better? Yes! Jennifer Aniston will appear on Days of Our Lives as her real-life father's wedding planner. I'm set.

Catty Comments from the Tonys: First Two Hours

No one kept time with the orchestra. Everyone was so in love with their voices they drew out each note.

Loved, loved the Sean Hayes/Chenoweth Frenching.

Interesting how Scarlett hugged Liev before her husband. I give it another year.

I wish I understood my violent aversion to Green Day. They are just loud and sing three notes. And the red pants.

Antonio Banderas has still got it.

Adored that Kate Finneran won a Tony! She was brilliant in Promises, Promises--and, indeed, stole the show.

Most of the speeches were too long and theatrical.

I'm very sorry the ratings were bad, but who's surprised? How many get to NY to see these plays?

Tony, Tony, Tony!

I'm only watching them for Sean Hayes. Oh, who am I kidding? Yes, I watch them every year. I've only seen Promises, Promises, which for some odd reason got all these nominations. I'd give one to Kate Finneran and Sean Hayes, but that's about it. Will avert my eyes whenever Green Day is mentioned. Hate their music.

Kate Hudson dating a really ugly musician. I hope she and Cameron Diaz make up and realize that dating the same person (at different times) brings you closer together, could even blossom into a movie script. There's no sense fighting over an athlete. They park in many garages at once.

With TG gone, Dish regressed today. Ate tons of junk food and worked on a puzzle of Paris.

This Might Be Too Long But I Have a Cold

I came home singing, so happy that Gordon White resigned as prime minister and now Damon Cameron--who is much better looking--will take over England. It's a happy day when an attractive person takes office. Then TG spoiled everything by saying DC was super conservative. Sigh.

Everyone's in an uproar about the Newsweek article on gays playing straight. Based on the tidbits I read, the piece sounded far too subjective (derrrr) for serious consideration. So let's forget about it. I thought--subjectively--Sean Hayes did straight pretty well in Promises, Promises. The ghost of Jack MacFarland faded from my brain and I let in hetero-Sean's-character take over. He played the Jack Lemmon type of guy who is courteous, unassuming and opens doors for women (okay, that's a little gay). Sure, I'll boycott Newsweek. You wouldn't get this kind of crap in People where real life happens.

On another note, after watching Sonia from The Real Housewives of New York City talk to that psychic, Dish dreams of reading Tarot cards to Upper East Side ladies. I'm not missing any teeth, I'll flatter till the cows come home, and I'd wear a suit. And I'm really good at reading cards.

Promises, Promises

Only the majesty of Sean Hayes could drive Dish to a musical. He was amazing on stage, convincing me that he was no longer Jack McFarland. I even believed he was straight and in love with Kristin Chenoweth. Sadly, the music in this "musical" is deadly dull. I expected more from Burt Bacharach. The dancing and performances were solid but no one could overcome the material. Chenoweth had far too many depressing ballads, to the point where an overdose of sleeping pills seemed a logical solution to her quandary. Katie Finneran as "Marge" stole the show and had great chemistry with Hayes. I would have rather the show be all about them. It's a shame: The Apartment is adorable.

This won't deter me from my quest to support Sean Hayes unconditionally (not financially) in all endeavors.

Oh, and PS....

... Sean Hayes is gay.

Finally. But who cares--Dish respected all along his not wanting to discuss until now. Not everyone needs to flap on and on about their sexuality, unless it's really juicy!

Star Sighting

7/12/08, 7:10 p.m., 46th and 9th: I was about to get anesthetized at my pre-fortieth birthday party when I spotted Ray Bokhour, one of the charmingest, talentiest celebs of my generation (meaning he's in the vicinity of ancient the same way Dish is). He's been on Law & Order and is the guy whose head pops up over the computer in Changing Lanes (am waiting for dirt on Ben Affleck and Samuel L, but so far, Ray is mum and I've stopped caring anyway). He's been in commercials galore, comedy shows, and then on one afternoon when I was crying over some bozo, he made me laugh in I'm With Lucy (Monica Potter is so underrated). If dementia serves, he's now on Broadway in Chicago, no doubt dazzling audiences with his distinctive flair and unforgettable voice. RB is like one of those good omens, as is his equally enigmatic wife Christine, who is responsible for my newfound serenity thanks to acupuncture. Now that I'm forty, I am allowed to have run-on sentences.

Ps. Why do I love Sean Hayes? Because despite the fact that I proposed marriage to him on behalf of someone special (not me), he autographed a pic for me.

Pps. The big surprise from my brother: A photo shoot of me! The only thing better than being around a celebrity is to feel like one. I can't wait!

Dish Officially Endorses Sean Hayes...

...as the Nicest Celebrity of the Year to Dishuponastar. He was generous when he didn't have to be. Will say why tomorrow and wish him well in Damn Yankees on Broadway.

In happy birthday news, it seems Angelina Jolie will be having a scheduled C-section--the sanest thing to come out of celebritydom--on the same day I turn 40! Finally, I'll have something in common with the Jolie-Pitts, other than piercing blue eyes.

The Bucket List

You'll have to excuse me. I just got back from Iraq (sucks to be there!) and had to fire another opinionated employee who is polling to see who could be my VP of ass-wiping. To bury the monotony of this endless election, The Bucket List found its way into my DVD player. Not a bad concept, but the script smelled; Jack and Morgan focused on all the wrong things. Beware, this is a spoiler alert. So here were some items:

Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world. Jack pecks his twinkly granddaughter on the cheek, provoking an aww moment. I say, he should have found a hot transvestite, made out with her, then felt something harden on his leg.

Go skydiving. Please. The whole skydiving, daredevil thing was cliche after Point Break and Bush Sr. did it.

Laugh until you cry. Before his surgery, Morgan informs Jack that he's been drinking cat shit coffee. Harharhar. I say, watch a porn flick in fast-motion or light each other's farts. So much funnier.

Drive in some fancy car. And Jack and Morgan go drag-racing. Morgan gets a little impish when he slams into Jack's car. Who cares? More exciting: Drive a car really fast and jump out of it as it goes off a cliff. That's way more impressive and Steven Seagal does it in Fire Down Below.

Travel around the world. Nice product placement of beautiful places but we've seen it before. If you're going to die, why not take an LSD trip around the world? Or visit international whorehouses? Bring Mickey Rourke with you, though Jack probably knows where to go. That Morgan Freeman needs to loosen up.

Climb Mt. Everest. Oh, that's realistic when you can barely breathe.

I forget the others on the list. Here's one I'd add:

Try it just once. If I were going through such an intense experience with someone, I'd probably totally go Brokeback. Why not? It's not like anyone will see it, no blackmail pictures, and you know you've always wondered about it. Woulda been nice if just once, Jack and Morgan shared a steamy kiss.

All that said, I bawled like a baby at the end. Did appreciate Sean Hayes's performance and love it when he's not Jack (though I love Jack too).