Poor Leo. Why Do We Care about His Love Life?

Because he dates beautiful models, preferably from the Victoria Secret catalog, which Dish reads religiously. He just discarded another one. I love that I'm never surprised when I see him out with another luscious blond--or that you can always count on the 3 for 1 deals on striped thongs, the free coupon for underpants during your birthday month. Leonardo's taste in women is as regular as his choice in movies -- mostly Scorcese. Can you believe that McConaughey was the top contender for Jack in Titanic? That would have been awesome. I never liked Leo in that role because he looked about twelve. Now, he's maybe 30. Okay, I'll admit, I had a little pervy Leo crush for about a month around Titanic time (who didn't? Oh, Dishmama, that's who) but then felt very cradle-robby and gross. The best acting Leo did since Gilbert Grape was in The Departed and Revolutionary Road. Just my opinion.

So, Dish is contemplating seeing a past life expert. Isn't that so Shirley MacLaine? There has to be a reason why I love the music of The Four Seasons. And Ancient Rome, I love that empire circa 44BC-14AD. I took 9 years of Latin, which dovetailed nicely with my obsession with Egypt. For why? I want to find out because I was totally Cleopatra, beyotches.

166 Hours Until the Duran Duran Mash-up on Glee!

Young triple threats Darren Criss and Matt Bomer will sing Duran Duran on Glee next Tuesday. Can you think of anything better? My hope is that their song doesn't leak. Dish is having too much fun imagining what they'll sing. Is anyone Hungry to go to Rio?

So, Sarah Palin is on TV, Levi Johnson knocked up his girlfriend, Obama is campaigning. It must be 2008. It isn't? Oh, thank GOD!!!! What a difference four years can make, n'est-ce pas?

Where were you when you heard that Ashton Kutcher would play Steve Jobs? I read the news and promptly forgot it...until now. My reaction is mixed: I want Ashton to grow into a fine actor and hope this role does it. He looks the part, but can he pull it off? He'll need to go on a diet...which could win him an Oscar.

Titanic 3-D. I'm ashamed that when I saw the trailer, I had tears running down my cheeks. TG never noticed. It's such a crappy movie, yet moved the world. Do I dare break my revolt against 3-D and see it?

Last night's Smash: Who got goosebumps over the trailer for next week's Uma Thurman appearance? Cannot wait! I wish I weren't so hooked on the show. It's a mistake.

I am officially ending the reign of the Housewives. They've all gotten to be so very boring. Erasing DVR after the millionth staged ladies lunch and mud run...