TG Is So Addicted to Six Feet Under

I am officially Mrs. Fisher. The similarities are eerie (up to her love of Snickers). TG is hooked on Six Feet Under and we giggle every time Frances Conroy delivers a Dish-ism.

Discovery has this new show Naked and Afraid--two contestants dropped off naked to live in the wild for 21 days. I sort of want to watch but can't add another show to my schedule. I'm already behind on The Killing and Maxwell & King.

QVC may be giving Paula Deen the ax.

Fallen Heroes Making Way for Others

After using racist language, Paula Deen was dropped by the Food network. I don't know much about her but sort of empathized with her having battled depression, plus she makes the kind of food that I love--i.e. fattening and comforting. How sad when the ones we admire are flawed. I am perfect, of course.

Speaking of flawed, my doctor recommended I do the dreaded yoga to lengthen my spine. I'm now UNDER 5'5, which is embarrassing. I chose a regime by Maya Fiennes, who makes yoga look sexy. Plus, hmmm. Fiennes. Sounds familiar. I vaguely remember Ralph Fiennes accused of doing naked yoga to seduce a flight attendant (everyone has his own seduction toolbox). Yoga, Ralph, Maya = Family. I went to Google and found my answers--she is married to one of the Fiennes brothers so I'm in good hands, cinematically. We won't talk about my lack of grace or that the breath of fire is much like one of my panic attacks.

I've created a monster. I introduced TG to Six Feet Under and now it's a marathon. Four episodes in a row. But TG has been extra nice to me this week.

Dish Has Remembered John Taylor's Birthday 30 Times!

January 1983: New semester at my boarding school. I was still wearing velour, but had started using my allowance to puff away on Merit Ultra Lights. My BFF brought me presents from Germany and news of a phenomenon sweeping Europe and soon the U.S. She showed me a picture of the band, and I pointed: Who's THAT fox? "That's John." Dish was hooked. Spent many years filling journals full of John Taylor (though stopping upon news of his first marriage--okay, maybe sooner than that). Even though I've moved on from my celebrity crushes except for Jane Lynch, the entire cast of Arrested Development I still remember JT's birthday and wonder if he identifies himself as a Gemini or a Cancer. He seems like a Cancer to me Geminis are insane.

Aside from this, Dish had a fruitful day, a long discussion about the Kardashians with Dishmama, who always makes me feel intelligent even while I'm talking about stupid things. That's what a good mother does. Of course, I'm following the mourning over James Gandolfini. Never got too into The Sopranos but appreciate actors who stand out.

Kim and Kanye have named their baby North West. I'm not kidding.

Rest in Peace, Tony Soprano

I confess, my first thought upon hearing the news was: Julia Roberts must be devastated. She and James Gandolfini starred in The Mexican together and had more chemistry than she had with Brad Pitt. During the promotion of the movie, Julia and James seemed very cozy, though it could have been residual pheromones from bonding with her now husband Danny Moder. Long story long, it's shocking to me that Gandolfini is now gone. 

Today has been a strange day altogether. I reviewed my Real Housewives of Orange County and can see that Gretchen and Tamra are becoming distant again. This explains why Gretchen wasn't a bridesmaid at Tamra's recent wedding. Can't we all get along? So for real female friendship, I turn again to Army Wives where in Season 7, they bring in a flock of new wives, all of whom I like more than the old ones (except Kim Delaney, my treasure, even if she guzzles several liters of V, is belligerent and slurs--I love her). I'm just waiting for Brooke Shields to appear. The clouds will part and excellence will reign over mediocrity.

Now in the evening, my mood has taken a different turn. I've gone through several pictures of stars with cellulite, not for the schadenfreude but to feel as if I'm not alone. (though it's easy to give a star cottage cheese legs if she's running)


Now here's Cher singing live on The Voice last night.

Poor Bachelorette, Poor Unemployed Selma, Poor Nigella!

Really, the batch of suitors for Dez is seriously sad. I mean, not a drop of testosterone except for the army guy. They're all so emotional with "I've got a kid" or "I have diabetes" or "I've been abandoned and it hurts." Yeah? Me too, I've got mild IBS problems! They don't ask much about what she's thinking or feeling. It's incredibly blah and I don't want her with any of these guys. Maybe one will show his true colors.

That Charlie Sheen is a career killer! Romantic comedy vixen Selma Blair allegedly complained about Sheen's work ethic and CS had her fired. Wowzers. I think this is how fascism starts. Selma will go to a better place because Anger Management sucks. Sheen was fun to watch twenty-five years ago...Selma is fun NOW.

More misogyny--luscious Nigella Lawson was the unfortunate victim of her husband's alleged playful choking her and making her cry. Now I know what I want for my birthday! (leave him, N'ella)

Where Did the Time Go?

I am under the influence of a lovely evening with family and now Ambien, so please forgive my ramblings. Did not watch Bachelorette or The Killing, but did catch Army Wives, Season Seven, Episode 1, 2, 3, which blow without Kim Delaney. You can almost feel the secret laughing over mourning Kim's character's death, like Catherine Bell would really like to say, "I'm so glad that drunk b*tch is gone so I can be queen!" That was unkind, Dish.

And now to do The NYT Crossword puzzle under the influence.

The Stars Are Quiet

Now that the Kardashian baby is born, we can all go home and resume our lives. After a busy day yesterday, Dish drank 1/2 a beer and then had a hangover all day today. Isn't that sad? Seriously, I was downing aspirin, squinting at all light above dim, and telling TG to stop screaming. What does Sam Adams put in its magical brew? Oh, alcohol.

Happy Father's Day--not my favorite day but a special hats off to my rockin' uncles and amazing dad cousins. My father this year is George Jetson.

Now for dirt, RHoOC spitfire Tamra married Eddie (I thought he was gay). Vicki and Heather were bridesmaids, but what about Gretchen? I thought they were besties. The truth will reveal itself this season. Gretch and Tamra didn't click so much in Mexico.

Kim Khad a Kbaby Kgirl!

Kim allegedly delivered 5 weeks early, but Dish is wise to the stars' pregnancy tactics. I think she had her baby only a week early because the stars always say a month later so as to avoid the paps storming the hospital on the real due date. Kudos to the Kappy Kouple! Wouldn't it be cool if they named her Lucy? Using Dish's formula, Duchess Kate will deliver any second now.

Now, I have an overdue sighting from May 29th from Dishbrothersidekick. He writes:

"Dean Winters, who played Ryan O'Reily in OZ. I saw him today, walking his bike through the crowd at the Union Sq Farmer's Market, around 5:30pm. He looks a bit more rugged since his days in OZ and has a few lines around the eyes, but still looks very handsome and flashed a beautiful sexy smile." He's the guy we now know from the Geico commercials (which TG enjoys over and over).

Who's seen the new Superman? I'm hearing that it blows.

Rumor that Amanda Bynes is faking her craziness. I knew it!!! So now, let's stop giving her attention.