Brick Bronson Brings You The World
7/11/06

Brick Bronson here. West Coast correspondent for CSFTS. Happy to be among the few, the proud, the under-medicated. As a veteran journalist, I have covered the world's most significant events such as Tom and Katie's courtship; Tom and Katie's break-up; and Tom and Katie's reconciliation. (And was proud to squelch those rumors once and for all about the identity of that baby; now the world can rest in the comforting knowledge that Scientology and scientists have successfully collaborated in the first human cloning. Hello, Dolly...)

Other big stories you may remember from the annals of my work include the detailed analysis of how celebrities actually get those fabulous gowns for the red carpet in, "Hand Jobs Versus Dirty Knees;" the drama and human suffering surrounding Lindsay Lohan's successful third rehab and Pam Anderson's latest bustatory enhancements; and, finally, in just what may be the pinnacle of my investigative prowess, the truth about Nicole Kidman's panty line.

I'm honored to have finally slept my way up to the middle, and to be talking trash with the talented like of Warren Piece and Clandes Tine. I'll be here, frequently, to keep you up to date on the latest and greatest. Count on me, Brick Bronson [insert dramatic head sweep here] to bring you news that matters, news that makes a difference, news that...well, you get the point.