Celebrity Backfat

by Laurel DelFesse
7/12/06

As your East Coast star liaison, I will always bring you the truth about the stars. My Master's in French literature and tenure dating cyclists (Lance sucks!) prepared me for this role.

So without further ado, here's what I know. Spread the word:

1. Julia Roberts has hips and the mole under her eye is real.
2. Last week I saw Liev Shreiber walking near Penn Station. We made eye contact and I could tell he wanted to pursue it but I looked away. Someday, I hope Naomi Watts will let me brush her long blond hair.
3. Chess superhero Garry Kasparov eats French onions (or they could have been American scallions?) as violently as Bugs Bunny eats carrots. I still have nightmares and once woke up with teeth marks on my arm.
4. I saw Paul Rudd in a g-string. He was on stage and it sort of worked for him.
5. Matthew Modine crossed my waking life twice: Once when he was sauntering down the street in combat boots, leather underwear and dangling chains; the second time he was instructing tourists where to get good fried chicken.

6. Joe Torre once touched my hand (I shoved it in his face) and I was so excited, I almost threw up.
7. I walked in on Bart Freundlich in the bathroom as he was helping his kid pee.




While Tom and Katie are hiding their pet ersatz-gote, you can salivate over the minutia of The Seen. Stay tuned for more. Now, I have to hide behind more trees.