More Burgeoning Bellies in Hollywood

Elizabeth Berkley is preggo! It really makes me ralph how gorgeous celebs remain during the throes of pregnancy. There's speculation that Reese Witherspoon is also with child, though it could be the dress. Is the universe trying to tell Dish something? Gah!

Dish is going through a rough patch (too much work, not enough fun or TLC), but this kind of cheered me up: http://www.mamagenas.com/am-i-crazy/?utm_source=Am%20I%20Crazy%3F&utm_campaign=Am%20I%20Crazy&utm_medium=email
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Women on the verge: I don't begrudge a girl her Republican views but Patricia Heaton has sided with Rush on the "slut" remark, which is anti-woman and so vile from a woman.

More misogyny: Has anyone seen GCB? It looks beyond bad. I've had enough of the Mean Girls/Desperate Housewives/Sex and the City/Real Housewives tired trashy thing. Plus, it seems to denigrate an institution I hold dear, the Southern belle!

Jessica Simpson's Ex's Wife Is Also Preggooo!

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Milli Vanilli Lachey confirmed that they have a bun in the oven! This is the most exciting thing they've done since Nick and Jessica had their own reality show. Snooki too--pregnated. I'm surprised we haven't seen footage of morning sickness.

Kim Kardashian has given twice the amount of her wedding gifts to charity. Allegedly, she got 100K worth of gifts, which seems low. Wonder if return of so many gifts would be logistical nightmare and perhaps double donation to charity the best thing. Dish is such a good organizer, those gifts would have been returned within a week of last Halloween when the news broke. Lost opportunities. Let's all forgive and forget.

I'm watching Gossip Girl and am now writing in Blair Waldorf for President.

Evan Rachel Wood is out-acting everyone in Mildred Pierce. Dish started out life as the spoiled and bratty Veda, but something happened on the way to the forum. Fewer headaches for everyone.

Julia, Lindsay and Rush

I saw Julia on the cover of Vanity Fair and purchased immediately. I love this rag. It's one of those magazines that one can savor all day. As I pored over the Julia interview, I remembered why she and I should be best friends (Mike Nichols is welcome to our GF club, too). We're just so similar on the planet where all my dreams come true. Can't wait to see Mirror Mirror!

People are bashing Lindsay Lohan's SNL performance but I can't fault her. The writing has been super-stinky. I gave the show a fighting chance for 35 years. Maybe it's the format itself that should be changed.

Rush Limbaugh needs hospitalization for his outbursts, though one shouldn't be surprised. He's said ludicrous things for so long. For those who are outraged by his latest rant, just remember he's sort of stayed in the same place for the last decade. No moving up any ladder. Super-insane people tend to implode like this. Rush is very, very fat.

According to Page Six, Martha Stewart and Rachael Ray were in the same restaurant, at the same time. Martha allegedly shot daggers at Rachael and the latter got her meal to go. I wonder if this is true. Dish likes Martha and Rachael. Why pit them against each other? There's room for both.

Duran Duran's in Dubai Dubai!

My Sunday Confessions

1. Billy Bob Thornton is one of my favorite actors/writers. I don't care how crazy he might be. Slingblade did nothing for me, but I adore everything else he's done. He's a brilliant talent. Last night, I skillfully manipulated TG into watching Love Actually. I'd tried once last year and failed, my powers of persuasion not yet strong enough. TG still loathed the movie and I wasn't so moved by it either after the 327th time. Billy Bob, though, was so wonderfully creepy. What the hell is he doing these days?

2. I am happy overall, with one cosmic worry. It comes about when I realize I'm in the same place--in some respects--as I was fifteen years ago, which means I might be a loser. This is *not* what my mother taught me and when I see others going through similar, often worse periods, it seems universal. I'm not plagued by my potential Loserdom. This condition is the failing of Generation X and Y. I'm sure my mother's generation didn't stop to consider this. They just kept going and doing.

Saturday and the Living is Uneasy

I just spent an entire afternoon doing a task that certainly won't advance any cause. It's like when I stood in line for 8 hours to get my Visa in France. By the end, I was slightly in love with the evil bureaucrat who whisked me by. I'm eying my computer monitor fondly. I hate Excel.

It seems Growing Pains's Kirk Cameron is dissing the gays. I find it sad when someone so cute could sound so hateful? But what do we care? Maybe he'll appear on The Surreal Life with Clay Aiken.

Oprah scored her first post-Whitney interview with Bobbi Kristina. I'm losing my innocence.

My last work: F*ck you, Prison Break. Sure, the last two seasons were predictable with all the last-minute saves and I applaud your final twist but movies/shows of the last 20 years have taught me to expect everything to be all nicey-nice at the end. I'm now damaged beyond recognition (though you did the right thing).

Happy Birthday to Jon Bon Jovi!

It's hard to believe he's 50! He looks so young. I wonder what his secret is. J.J., do you know? You went to school with him...

Another topic to rile my hair-guru: The Kardashian girls are getting flack for their burrito eating diet pill hawking. Don't you get the feeling the Kardashian sphere is fading? Who will be the next vapid media sensation?

The Bachelor PR machine is playing me like a Gingie marionette. I'm sorry for obsessing but the media called me and said: Hello, Dish? And I was like: Yeah? Then the media said Ben referred to this season's taping as "the worst experience of his life." I was like omygod, like worse than being rejected on TV by the dentist or a parent's death? And the media said, yeah. But the benefit of this Worst Time in His Life is that he will have ample tail forever and ever (so sad a 43 y.o. woman using the term "tail"). They really need to recast/revamp this tired franchise. Turn it around with 5 everyday Joes and maybe give the girls more power. There have been too many douchebags in a row.

You must read the spotlight on Julianne Moore in More magazine. She was one of the first celebs I saw in NYC when I moved here 15 years ago. She was very pregnant, wearing a thick down coat, and running around like a teenager being all chatty cathy at a Chinese restaurant. I'd forgotten she was on As the World Turns so I looked up her cameo back in 2010 when the show was canceled. Moved me to tears: http://whttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifww.youtube.com/watch?v=rCf5giWB2zg.

We're watching Johnny English Reborn with that Mr. Bean guy (TG's choice). It's terrible but TG is laughing. Boys love him. Gillian Anderson is in it. Girls love her.

Desperate Measures Call For Queer As Folk

It's been an awful week. So awful that I've only scoured my tabloids once a day. I cannot wait until tomorrow around 5pm. I'll be home, snuggled up and at peace.

For now, I need a little courage, inspiration and healing. I'm summoning the strength of God himself: Brian Kinney: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUlJwAF5XxI&feature=related.

Watching Season 5. Might skip to Cindy Lauper singing "Shine."

Antoine Sabitahge!!!

lissin-up, hores. i jes thru up n the cowch & now wll ruh-porte on the starzz!

The Bicherlor iz roomered 2 be sleepin w/ 3 othr feemailes. Cn ani-1 sai GONE-OREE-YA? Wll he winde up w/ Cortnee the Evel Modelle?

Revenge sukked--xcep th issey Victoreea aka Madlin Sto

on reel houssw-ives v oreng cuntry tamry & rossi bi six toys! Skindalis!!!

rikk sanitarium lkks lik a claimation ponny n i wanna hit him. h no likks th wimins bt semms obsessd w/ men havn' sixy time in the milit'ry!

julia n th covre ov Vanity Far--rowr!

Ooo, shee odored chikkin! musst go behg!