Books, Rumors and Vomit!

I can't get enough of my celebrity books. Once I'm done with Happens Every Day by Stabler's wife in L&O: SVU, I'm moving on to Lucky Me by Sachi Parker about being the daughter of Shirley MacLaine. It doesn't sound like a Mommie Dearest thing, but fer sher, frank talk about strange parenting. I've read a gazillion Shirley books and her mothering never seemed all that amazing. Her astral projecting--awesome.

My next tome is Beyond Belief Jenna Miscavige Hill. I'm obsessed with the celebrity Scientology thing, which is why I had to read their bizarre textbook from cover to cover. It's so eerie, I sort of get it. My introduction to Scientology came in the early nineties from someone high up in the organization who was linked to Tom's initiation. Back then, my star-senses were crude, aimless. If I knew then what I know now, I would have plunged into it, met famous people and somehow wheeled and dealed my way onto a sit-com. Lost dreams.

Today's rumor: that Nicole and Keith are splitting. I've heard this one before.

Marilyn Manson joins the ranks of Bieber and Gaga by yakking on stage, saying later he had the flu. I admire the show must go on attitude, but take a lesson from Barry Manilow who doesn't want to gross out his fans and wind up on TMZ: Stay the hell home and catch up on your Housewives! Though I feel Manson's down time involves picking scabs and howling in a dark room filled with blood and snake skins.

The Grammys aka Dumbfest are on tomorrow. Showing body parts forbidden. What is the talent going to do?

Inspiration

Tomorrow I have to be tough and helpful and not selfish. I am wearing this t-shirt (thanks, Dishbrotherhusband!) to keep me Dolly-esque. Stop laughing, TG. I know. She's awesome and I love her.

Star Sighting--Annie Golden!!!

3:00pm: 15th and 7th. Dish was exiting Westside Market, with bags of TG's favorite foods, and almost ran right into my FAVORITE person from the movie version of Hair, the delightful Annie Golden. Even more awesome, she was talking to herself--as was I! If I hadn't been doing heavy lugging, I would have followed her the hiding-behind-the-bushes-when-TG-ran-after-Will-Arnett begs to differ.

I've caught up on The Bachelor and feel Sean is a serial killer. He fits the profile and keeps making the women do these physical tests--jumping in ice water, climb or descend a tall structure, get in a boat, drink goat milk (as IF) and walk around the mansion. He wants to see them suffer. I don't get why Tiera keeps getting a rose. Her injuries alone make her a bad investment. It's all rigged. Sean can't kick off Tiera because she's ratings gold and the other women are boringly normal (I'm pulling for either trailer park Katie Holmes or the adopted woman).

Smash: Jennifer Hudson is my only reason for watching stop lying, Dish. It's the truth: J-Hud is magic. Everything else seems so cliche. Loved Ivy's opening dress, how it meshed with her brassy blond. Which online stores must I raid to find this exact one??? Glad Messing got rid of milktoast husband--hope she gets with someone who will help her dress sexy again, I mean, for the first time. Sorry, that was unkind.

If You See Kevin Bacon on the Subway, Say Hello!

This tidbit comes courtesy of TG, who is obviously revealing his closet-love of the stars. I like to live in a world where Kevin is friendly, waving to us, and breaking into his Footloose dance. But I also remember a time when a now famous personality brought a group of friends through Central Park and they all waved at Kev & Kyra. K&K sneered and covered their faces. Well, I would have run in the opposite direction because of, well, a certain parade where women were assaulted in the park. You just never know and celebs need extra protection.

You know I'm a fool for love because I'd give up Downton Abbey I've already watched all of season 3--and my reaction, Dishbrother says, means I've a heart of stone to watch Rachael vs. Guy Celebrity Cookoff. It's down to Dean and Carnie Wilson. TG and I love Carnie, because she's a mess. Don't give her too many crayons at once otherwise she'll have a hissy. I adore Dean since Tori Spelling and I have been imaginary friends these last 20 years. Dean's the better chef, I think.

Oh God...I forgot...Smash Trash is BACK! And I forgot to watch this sh*tty sh*tty show that I'm totally obsessed with. Give me more weird Anjelica face/bob, bad Messing clothes because she's so artsy and NYC, soapy story-lines, McPhee dead-behind-the-eyes, wimpy hubby, pretentious Brit director who married Debra's cheating sister Amy Adams in The Wedding Date knows everything, unamazing music and well, I can't get enough.

My Team Won...

...until I found out there's a killer on the Ravens team. Do I choose killer spiders don't count or homophobe? It doesn't take a lot to turn Dish.

Superbowl: I'll admit Beyonce did well I saw Matthew Modine wear this exact costume once in Tribeca. Her gyrating and singing were above and beyond last year. And I gasped when Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams appeared (though they were on for maybe two minutes--Beyonce was like don't even). My brain rolodexed to the drama that broke up their group--though I don't remember it. I started Googling madly. And then on Facebook, the great Ray Bokhour's great wife said that Ray had been married to Michelle Williams for a few months. I gasped again. He played "Rio" during my wedding ceremony and he's a famous actor now in Chicago on Broadway. How did I *not* know he was once married to Michelle of Destiny's Child? I IMDBed them both but found no evidence of their marriage. Then I Googled them and realized they played husband and wife in Chicago. It's so easy to get me going on wild celebrity goose chases!

This is my Donna Reed It's a Wonderful Life moment--all is well in Dishland, but please, if you have a spare moment, send out especially good vibes for TG this week. He has to deal with the agony of a 1000-piece puzzle spread across our apartment.

Superblow 2013!

Ha! Dishbrother came up with that title. Tough times for Dish figuring out which team to support. A 49er made a gay slur, so it's all Ravens. Then again, I adore San Fran the city more than Balti, so 49ers. But then I saw the 49ers' ugly tan leggings and my choice became clear. Beyonce's on right now. I can't imagine she's singing live, but she's bringing it. How does she move in those heels? I'm going to wear her outfit to work and see how fast I'm told to leave immediately. Holy bananas, Destiny's Child. Okay gotta go.

Here's a touching Ellen/Portia moment. The best part is the last two minutes. So Dish has 10 minutes left of Downton Abbey season 3 and the really bad thing hasn't happened yet. My world hasn't been rocked yet. It's apparently so awful and I won't believe it.

Dishbrother just told me that...

...The rest of Downton Abbey season 3 is available on iTunes. I'll return in 24 hours.

RIP, Ed Koch!

I never lived in NYC during the reign of Mayor Koch, but I certainly visited often and he's an icon of this city. He had some ups and downs in politics. Still so sad to hear the news of his passing. Giuliani spent most of his time in drag on SNL, but Koch did better with his stint on Sex and the City. He made his mark.

Ignoring my advice to stick with writing and avoid the video commentary, Perez Hilton goes off Rihanna and her reunion with Chris Brown and overall bad-role-modeling. I totally agree with him. He's really, really smart. His book was awesome. Though I wish he were chubby again...

I have some sad news for a few Dishreaders who hate that Javier Bardem is married to a woman. Well, as it turns out, he may even have intercourse with his wife since Penelope Cruz is pregnant AGAIN with his child. Sorry, guys. It's real, it's happening, it's A-List with an accent.

Beyonce is no longer on my list since she copped to lip-synching at the inauguration, then sang live for some Superbowl thing. Is she REALLY the Superbowl halftime show? I dunno. Am not really wowed by their choices since after Prince. It's time for my girl crush Pink--who sings live.