I Saw Jodie's "Beaver"

And it was terrible, though Dish enjoys Jodie to the hilt. Now we get to enjoy the behind-the-scenes dirt!

As reported, Kayte Walsh is carrying Grammer seeds. She had the audacity to go red, no doubt taking a page from Dish. She seems highly perky and delightful in pictures and I hope she is happy in this marriage and that it lasts for a long time. One must enter the Hollywood marriage machine with eyes wide open. I am on Team Camille and Team Kayte--just not Team Kelsey anymore. An elephant never forgets.

Elton's hubby David Furnish went off on Madonna for winning best song. I love a good fight between icons! Granted, I give major props to any diva directing and writing a big-ass movie, especially a period piece where you have to read a history book. But I love Elton's bitter cranky grudges!

Kate Major was arrested again for smacking a cop. Did I already report that? I just did it again. Bachelor Pad's Kasey Kahl arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct. Rob Lowe as Drew Peterson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRRcL0vkPsQ.

How the mighty have fallen.

Did You Get Your 11-11-11 On?

It was okay, this day, wasn't it? I mean Kim Zolciak from Atlanta Housewives got hitched. Everyone and their mother had the same 11-11-11 status update. Demi Moore turned 49 and is better than ever (though too skinny!). Kris Humphries has lawyered up to face the truth and dodge a massive bullet. Charmed witch Holly Marie Combs filed for divorce herself.

Dish tried to watch Boss but it looked bad. I'm not sure Kelsey Grammer can really act. Only got through two minutes. Did catch up on my Glees and see what Hershey was so a-twitter about. Agree now that Darren Criss is a god. My favorite moment was seeing the Warblers singing "Uptown Girl": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSDqzbN2-zo. Reminds me to get a ticket to "Jersey Boys." Here's another one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pB1cx16TEfk&feature=related.

Beyond exhausted. As we were watching Law & Order, TG informed me that he met Jerry Orbach and Benjamin Bratt--that Bratt was especially nice. The two stars were so enthralled with TG that they invited him back "to the trailer for coffee." Probably a huge lie but you gotta give TG props for trying.

In 69 Hours, I Will Turn 14 Again...

...as long as I pack the Duran Duran tickets to DAR Constitution Hall for Sunday. TG is screaming his anxiety that I might leave them at home. Seriously, though, we're bargaining. I have to go to Duran Duran, therefore you must do dishes for a week. I am Dish, so why should I wash them? Isn't that what husbands are for? I'll take some juicy pics while I'm there and post.

Whitney Houston wouldn't buckle her seatbelt for some reason and was almost kicked off the plane. The girl was exhausted, leave her along. BobbBAY!!! The flight attendant had to buckle her in. Vile. I swear, if I meet a mean celeb, they are dead to me. In other a-hole behavior, Lindsay Lohan got booted from her community service at a women's center because she was a big old pain in the ass. Of course, she blames the center, saying they were mean. Landfill?

TG and I watch reruns of Frasier. It's the best thing Kelsey Grammer has ever done. I can't imagine how crappy Boss must be. In the previews, I keep expected him to deliver a quippy line and ask Niles to go to Le Cigale Volant. These days, Kelsey seems gross after dumping his wife so strategically and getting married five minutes later. But you have to admit, he does some things very well--like Frasier. After all his personal stuff--the yuck of which has followed him for decades, i.e. he was never a saint--sours me on continuing to follow his career. Boo. I forgave Woody Allen eventually for effing his daughter. He did marry her, as TG points out.

Celebrity vegetarians: Alec Baldwin, Carrie Underwood, Ellen DeGeneres, Bill Clinton, Anne Hathaway, Brad Pitt

I Wish I Could Quit You!

I lasted 24 hours without a blog. The second I determined to end, the news just kept pouring into my brain. I tried to read. I took a walk. I read a couple pages of a Latin textbook to refresh my talent. Crocheted a row of a baby blanket. Watched two episodes of Snapped and flashed my husband a gleaming smile. It's too late for me to shut off the noise.

Yesterday, I might have seen Rupert Everett circa 1pm on 18th and 7th. The Rupert I saw had super-Gingie hair, like Dish's. He might have gotten into a strange fight with a bottle of bleach/henna. If it wasn't Rupert, it was the product of a night of passion between Rupert and Prince Harry. That's twisted, even for me.

TMZ reports that Camille Grammer hints that Kelsey's wiener is small. Very tacky and even tackier that I would repeat this news. Camille was one of the housewives I liked, after all. Millions of dollars must have helped make the medicine go down for thirteen years of marriage with Kelsey. It's funny these things come out after the fact.

A fun entity to follow on Twitter: @condeelevator. The anonymous person in charge would so get fired if caught. Which makes the stakes higher. I see a movie deal.

Former teen idol (I have no idea why, David Cassidy way cuter) Leif Garrett was in a serious motorcycle accident. He has whizzed his life away. Uck, the news is so depressing: Rick Perry is running for President, though this helps Obama's chances, doesn't it? My sister-in-law, who lives in Texas, says not to predict any campaign. Still want Hillary....

Still feeling unclean after watching Bachelor Pad.