My HS Term Paper on Duran Duran--Cover Page

Be afraid.

I Want Your D.O.R., Mayo!

Louis Gossett, Jr. is one of my favorite actors. He chomps scenery like crazy, especially in An Officer and a Gentleman, earning him an Oscar. When I saw my beloved Louis on an episode of Little House on the Prairie, I couldn't believe my eyes. Black people on Little House? How fabulous of Michael Landon to promote this. During the ep, of course Pa Ingalls took a stand on racism, which was awesome. Since Pa, Mr. Edwards, a bigot and Louis were transporting dynamite, I figured Louis would get his ass blown to Kingdom Come--a sacrificial lamb to teach us about treating everyone with dignity. I was wrong. Louis survived, which made me think LHOTP was ahead of its time.

Ah, sweet respite. Elliot Spitzer's CNN show canceled, replaced by Anderson Cooper. There is a goddess.

Felicity is pregnant. Can't stop these celebs from reproducing. They're like rabbits. Emily Maynard is being courted as the new Bachelorette, which makes my head spin. This means I have to accept that she and Brad Womack are done. Tears just keep flowing. Of course, I will watch.

Click on an enjoyable rant against Nancy Grace made by Harvey Levin: http://www.tmz.com/2011/07/06/tmz-live-casey-anthony-not-guilty-verdict-nancy-grace-joan-rivers-susan-moss-phone-interview/. It's a little laughable that Nancy Grace would make such a wild statement about "knowing" someone is guilty. It stirs everyone up in a destructive way. Was she there? Harvey cracks me up even when he's dead serious. He has to be on something to keep up his momentum: cocaine, caffeine, or just scary healthy Type A person?

Do I dare state the obvious: There is no objectivity in the U.S. media.

Celebrity Break Up and Make Up!

I pray that this is only a rumor (to hype a movie/TV show), though I smelled this separation when Peter Facinelli's star rose in Twilight, then Nurse Jackie. He and Jennie Garth are beyond adorable but when there's celebrity inequality, marriage suffers. They are allegedly on a break. I know, pass the Kleenex. Cute-central, both of them. I wish them well and pray for a miracle--or that it's total BS!

Okay, Hershey Kiss, be prepared to cry that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel might be back together. This doesn't excite me, but I'm all for making love work. See above.

If you can believe, Nic Cage's freaky, mentally-disturbed-and-I-wonder-if-it-runs-in-the-family son Weston Cage has flooded TMZ with his craziness about marriage and getting divorced after two minutes from his hot, pregnant and equally crazy wife. I'm a little fascinated but more evidence of celebrity spawn going off the deep end.

My schadenfreude is at an all-time high as Jay Leno is not funny with a Casey Anthony joke that also disses Obama. My couch is way funnier.

In happy news: James Spader has joined the cast of The Office. I loathed JS as an actor starting in the 80s but he's grown on me. Think he gets better and better and he rocked The Office this past season. Triumphant casting.

Highlight of the month: Shark Week on the Discovery Channel starts 7/31.

So, I've been eating a hot fudge sundae every day since I'm like 5. Then there's the tin of Altoids. The afternoon brownie and mashed potato baths. I'm thin and exercise, but the doctor put a damper on my perfection by saying I need to cut my sugar intake. Kumquat did he say? Dish cannot be on the high end of the "normal" curve! Eat (tree bark and celery) Pray Suffer!

WTF about Casey Anthony Verdict!?

By now, you must be sick of the outrage. What can one do? I'm so jaded after O.J. Simpson's acquittal, this was almost to be expected. Even Kim Kardashian predicted this shocking outcome. If Kim says it, must be true: Anything can happen. For those who feel injustice has been done, remember that Casey Anthony's life is over...until she joins the cast of Celebrity Rehab, followed by Dancing with the Stars. Not that this is related but Dina Lohan is allegedly in talks for DWTS. American pop culture since Titanic is mostly a joke! (Or maybe Dish is just getting old).

Onward: While treadmilling, I caught up on my Celebrity Rehab, in which Amy Fisher cried about being a porn star who'd been ruthlessly stalked as a teen because she shot a wife in the head. Some people have REAL problems. Now, close to my heart is the sad prospect of RHofNYC Sonja Morgan losing her 6M home on the Upper East Side. That wasn't sarcastic. I do love my Sonja as she's always cheerful, consults psychics and boffs artists. Seems she got royally screwed by her ex-husband, who could afford to keep her afloat. Stay strong, Sonja! I'll do your cards for free!,

What's a Cougar Starlet to Do?

First of all, rent All About Eve and savor Celeste Holm, who is now 94. Then, read this article in the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/03/nyregion/love-and-inheritance-celeste-holms-family-feud.html. In a nutshell, Celeste married a stud half her age, her sons put her gazillions in a trust that they managed--so far, I understand, only protecting Mama's money. Celeste gets a little dementia, her husband cares for her, sons are bitter they never had a real mommy, yadayadayada, her millions are now gone. Who's to blame?

How could I miss my fair Julia on Letterman the other night? Well, now you can see her, too: http://www.cbs.com/late_night/late_show/video/?vs=Big%20Show%20Highlights. Wish she wouldn't hide behind her hair so much! Verdict: She and Tom Hanks are too adorable. Though I doubt this'll save the movie, which I'll see next weekend...

Quick Reviews:

Fair Game: Must watch if you know nothing of the Valerie Plame, Joseph Wilson incident where Scooter Libby spilled the beans. Great performances by Sean Penn and Naomi Watts.

Client-9: The Rise and Fall of Elliot Spitzer. Basically makes a douchebag into a tragic hero of mythology. He's not mythical; he's just another douche who loves himself. This documentary seems to diminish the very dark decisions he's made. Could only get through ten minutes. Stopped at the point where he's playing vigorous, sweaty tennis.

My Goodness! A Dream About Simon Le Bon!

I sifted through boxes of items in a scary basement. I was on a mission. The area had some flooding and some of my things have merged with the ground. But lo, there was my fifty-page term paper on Duran Duran: "From New Romantic Fame to Worldwide Acclaim." I wrote it when I was fifteen and scrounging for inspiration aside from where my next cigarette was coming from. No worries, Dishreaders, I will be posting some gems from this academic feat. It is ripe with embarrassing soundbites. Should I also mention that I found the brilliant romance novel that my BFF and matron of honor wrote involving me, her and members of the band?

As a foreshadowing to finding the term paper, I dreamed about Simon. I sat in a club, bereft over a broken engagement (metaphorical). The lights dimmed and the band came out to set up. But they couldn't play since Simon has been having trouble with his voice. So he was silent. He motioned for me to come over, some nice music started and we danced. It was a nice little boost and I led.

Happy Long Weekend!

So, Dish is reading more into the Linda Evangelista revelation that Francois Henri-Pinault is her babydaddy. It seems her baby and Salma's are the same age. Can you imagine what Francois was thinking--that two women were carrying his child. Maybe it made him feel powerful and masculine. Is he so gorgeous/wonderful that two beauties would want his seed? Dish is learning more and more from The Tao of TG that "It's all about the monnnnnneeeeeeeyyyyy." And big jugs.

Some sad news for me--Simon Le Bon continues to have vocal problems and more Duran Duran dates canceled. I'm devastated as this means less likely that they'll come to New York in a timely manner. Let's pray for a miracle.

And now, Dish is off to DM's place in the country. My mission for the weekend: To find my 50-page term paper on Duran Duran, which I wrote when I was 15. I'll post a page at a time. Small recompense for my not being able to see the new Julia Roberts movie immediately. Has anyone seen it?

ANOTHER SHORT ONE!!!

No time to waste but will take this moment to share that randy Prince Albert has tied the knot, as has Kate Moss!! Then it seems that DSK might be innocent in the sex crime. Oooh and Linda Evangelista fessed up that her babydaddy is Salma Hayek's Gingie husband!! but looking to see if timeline coincides with the marriage... no time right now but even as Dish works her tail off, she keeps the affairs of the stars in mind. Have not even checked who won Wimbledon which is akin to blasphemy!!