Jersey Boys is Officially Obsessed with Dish

So I Tweeted about seeing Jersey Boys (from several accounts) on 2/13 and THIS miracle happened:

I almost fainted, for real. I mean, Jersey Boys answered my Tweet (TG has already rained on my parade, claiming their "marketing agent"--like he knows the official title--did the deed). And they used the hashtag of my favorite Four Seasons song, like we have ESP! This is not a marketing agent or personal assistant, this is the magic of the Four Seasons. If you think about it, they are practically begging me to go again. And I will. Tomorrow Next week month. 

Happy Valentine's Day to My Valentine

I can't go without expressing a heart-and-chocolate-felt HVD to my sweet Valentine (from 2009 to forever), the ever-gorgeous TG. He already did the best thing ever by acquiring an elephant (see below). I've named him/her Frankie Valentine. As you can see, Frankie is wearing an orange yarmulke. Yes, we're a little bananas.

I am the luckiest girl ever!

Junky TV Brings Us Together

In high school, there was a team of women who were like my sisters--still are. I also had on my roster about 20 girls that I worshiped from afar, the ones who looked like they were having a blast, always well put-together, dating and happy. Almost 30 years later, I bond weekly with many of these girls via Facebook over the latest sh*tty TV. It's life-affirming to find kinship in a really sad, sad addiction. My world keeps expanding. I'm not alone.

 If you watched O last night, you know that the state of the union is strong. Why can't O use another adjective? What about robust or as free-flowing as the waters of Lake Titicaca? The best part was Rubio's counter-talk and his swigging the Poland Spring, maybe to wash down the Xanax? Yesterday, I think I irritated someone by crackling an Altoid wrapper during a meeting--a little like The Biscuit pouring water during a trial on Ally McBeal. Dish might subconsciously do it on purpose, which is evil. Well, it's mostly nerves. But Rubio should have contained himself for TV since TV = Life. I didn't witness the swig. By then, Dish had turned off telephonic devices to devote evening to TG and See's chocolate.

And tonight...it's off to Jersey Boys again!

The State of My Pizza

It's lukewarm but delicious, meshing nicely with three See's chocolates--because 3 is not as bad as 4. Will hide wrappings from TG who won't have a clue what just happened. Or where I am in The Bachelor (he's on the menage a quatre, making these ladies carsick with his driving). I honestly don't know who Sean should pick: Adopted Ashley--She's a little heavy, as in so much baggage. If he marries her, she'll have these solemn realizations while he just want to do somersaults on the trampoline. She'd make a good wife. Sassy Catherine--Very adorable girl, though heavy also with 2 awful life events. Tiera--disaster, run. Katie Holmes--cute, real, who knows. Makeout Girl Who Sleeps Naked: Not serious enough. The Blonde--sure. No one is really standing out as his wife. So important.

Right now, the whole Chris Dorner standoff-nightmare might be ending. Is it my imagination or are people snapping more than they used to? Or maybe we're getting more on tape.

I push down the harshness of real life with some fake Real Housewife of Beverly Hills, standing firmly with Team Brandi/Lisa. I'm trying to believe that nothing is staged but when I saw Faye crash the tea party, I realized producers probably pushed her on stage...well, I doubt she needed pushing. I'd be there in a hot second as the city's top gatherer of black cat hair. If you use a damp sponge, the hair comes right up.

Alec Baldwin has impregnated his wife.

I Know You're All Worried...

...about my incessant watching of The West Wing. Fear not. Tonight I caught up on Shahs of Sunset with TG until he fell asleep during Resa and Adam's "seaglass" hunting and snacking on prepared exotic foods on the beach. Then I went back to Josiah Bartlett's announcing he was running for a second term even though he has MS. Stockard Channing is pisssed.

Now I regret missing the Grammys since I didn't see Justin Timberlake's stylish return to performing. Chris Brown remaining seated when Frank Ocean won his award. Taylor Shift (oh god, I know that's not her name but I can't think of it) singing that sourpuss song, dissing her British ex. J.Lo flashing her leg like Jolie, though I prefer my J.Lo in a sparkly flesh-toned body-stocking. I don't get why the leg flash or The Highline in NYC is such a big frigging deal. More impressive is Katy Perry defying the CBS body-censoring memo with the unleashing of her glorious tatas in that awesome seafoam dress from American Apparel. I should have watched....

Out of fear that TG will see how much sh*t I watch rage against the networks for scheduling my two must-sees at the same time, I'm not watching The Bachelor or RHoBH, which is why I'm writing this during the 8-10pm hour.

Oh wait: This just in--LeAnn got BANGS!!! I'm seeing Jersey Boys for the 8th time on Wednesday (an accident!). And the pope resigned.

Game Change...Because I'm Not Watching The Grammys

Last day of hibernation. I'm all about the politics and finally got to watch Mistress Julianne as Sarah Palin in Game Change. I'll say first that I was never pro-Palin, but I'm always interested in the minds of those who think the way she does.

You notice right away that J-Moore's transformation is frightening. She is Palin without going bananas. You kind of forget anyone else is in the movie because she's so perfect. The script is mediocre, Ed Harris doesn't even try to be McCain, cliche is everywhere--though it's all highly enjoyable, especially since you learn more about an exciting period.

This movie makes Palin a bit more sympathetic, less of a caricature. Like Dish, she had a fourth grade knowledge of foreign policy. That's really sad (and she's not alone in politics). After an initial show of strength, she had a downward spiral and I would have too. It was a ridiculous amount of pressure on someone so completely unqualified for higher office, sort like putting Dish on Wall Street (though I'm eerily close).

You Give Me Cabin Fever!

For the last four days, I've been indoors. No slacking here, I swear. Not only did I finish a 1k piece puzzle but I also oinked my way through 6 pints of ice cream and watched 40 episodes of The West Wing, sobbing every 43 minutes. Damn you, Martin Sheen, and your eloquent speeches. Awesomeness comes in a little package sometimes. There was a long period of time when Martin was more famous than his son. The sugar makes me forget the cruel reality of today's appetite for misbehaving celebrities. Slurp, slurp, toffee chip crunch with M&Ms, raspberry swirl and cookies & cream. So delicious!

Christina Applegate quit Up All Night, the show no one was watching anyway. TG has already called his agent at CAA to demand a co-starring role with his best friend, Will Arnett. TG would play the loveable sidekick who is filled with man-love (and the first beer-bong-man-love-baby?). I feel very strongly that Christina should give up sit-coms and do romantic comedies. She killed in The Sweetest Thing. What about The Sweetest Thing 2 with Christina hooking up with Jason Bateman who was hilarious?

Tomorrow, my review of Game Change...

Celebrities Have Problems, I Fix Them in 30 Seconds

Brandi and LeAnn: Keep the feud going forever, please. $$$$

Kim Kardashian: Kris should have his freaking annulment. 72 days is not a real crack at marriage.The fact that there's still no deal means they both want to keep it going. KK gets everything she wants already.

Chris Brown and Rihanna: This will play itself out, sadly. I scroll past 95% of their news because it bores me.

The fact that body parts will be covered up for the Grammys: There will be rule breaking, by Pink and those  who need eccentricity to hide lack of talent. And just because they are artists and hate being told to hide their creamy mounds creativity.

I give up! My pocketbook can't keep up with the Housewife products: the books, the songs, the shoe lines, the jean stores, the hooker couture dresses, the exercise videos, the booze and the jewelry.

Film critic Rex Reed slams the movie Identity Thief and insults Melissa McCarthy for being "tractor-sized." I dunno, the review is pretty heinous. The overweight comic relief is a crappy movie/TV husband trope (Chris Farley, I miss you), but this review seemed to repeatedly hit hard on McCarthy's weight rather than her talent. Some people didn't "get" Bridesmaids or watch Gilmore Girls and Mike & Molly. Did Chris Farley get that kind of abuse? Well, Chris Christie definitely does so maybe it's not a girl thing. The bottom line is I like Jenny Melissa McCarthy as she is. Yes, she's overweight. There might be health problems. She's kind of hot, too, adorable, smart, really funny and appealing. She's probably happier than the other lollipops because, if anything, her handlers probably want her to eat more. Eating makes you happy. And who cares anyway? There's a blizzard outside. Duane Reade is closed and I can't rush to get my Entemann's fix, which suxxxxxx. Here's the future for McCarthy: Jenny Craig might call her, she'll slim down, look all drawn and then get hired to perform on Smash. Yes, I want J-Hud to gain 20 pounds! There, I said it.

And now, I'm going to tune in and see my friend Langdon on Langdon Nation. The man who tried to be the bride at my wedding... He performs live on http://tradiov.com/la/ at 9pm ET.