Star Sighting--David Birney!!!

As I breathed through the panic of being squashed between two large people, I noticed DB was 2 rows ahead of me at Seminar. Remember him as the ex-husband of Meredith Baxter who is now a lesbian? I only saw him in profile. He wore a nice red scarf and now we know where my 80s perm went. I'd recognize those sparkling Love Boat eyes anywhere.

The performances were excellent. The play was just okay. I'm convinced Alan Rickman is made up of golden molecules. He fairly shimmers on stage.

Off to See God Himself AKA Alan Rickman in "Seminar"!

I cannot wait to see AR on stage again. Review to come. I hear Jerry O'Connell is fabulous too.

More happiness: Drew Barrymore is taking the plunge for the third time! What I love about Drew is that she has a type: dorky dudes and she tends to up their star points. Dishfriend once stood in line with her at Bed, Bath and Beyond and said she was darling.

Keri Russell (aka Felicity) gave birth to a girl! I can't be bothered to look up the name but I imagine it's something like Peach or Lorelei Buzzkill or Raine. Meanwhile, I'm trying to heal the indigestion from seeing the latest Twitterpic of Marc Anthony--all fuzzy-eyed--smooching on a J.Lo twin. Quick, J.Lo time to mount Casper on a bench!

Star Sighting--David Costabile!!!

5:05 at a store on 7th Avenue-ish. It's funny, Hersheykiss and I were JUST discussing Gale from Breaking Bad and how brilliant he is and how one scene just broke my heart in pieces. I walked by the store and then doubled back, my face against the glass. Twas he! My skin tingled which authenticated the sighting--though my failing eyesight could be off.

A fine actor indeed. Dish has three more episodes before catching up on Season 4.

Two Confirmed Bachelors Fall. So Does the Sky!!! Followed by Sinead O'Connor's Reconciliation!

Hallelujia! I'm full to busting with happy news! This report brings me to manic tears: After a night of lovemaking, Sinead O'Connor and her husband of 18 days decided to reconcile! Stay away from the weed, Sinead, though I've heard it can enhance sexual arousal. And please, at least have the decency to share which position/s sealed the deal???

Even more joyous (though Hersheykiss might be miffed), Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are finally trying the knot. A dream come true! But Dish wonders how this will affect her movie career. I mean, is New Year's Eve it? Please, Jessica, now that you have the man nailed down, don't give up your gift/dream (no WASP sarcasm, I promise. I saw The Illusionist). And, I've heard that Mario Lopez is also engaged to his babymama!

Let's all join hands and dance in a circle of love and light.

Though, with happy comes sad as Nick Cannon suffers from mild kidney failure. A little cranberry juice does a body good. Please get better, Nick. You're a delight in movies/TV and the only one who can tame the beast.

Oh, and sources are on bumpwatch for Rachel Zoe. Lastly, it seems the President went shirtless in Hawaii, playing football. I do NOT want to see Daddy without clothes. Please get that shirt back on, POTUS.

Where's Mariska Hargitay When I Need Her?

Spotted, Steven Tyler topless in Maui. He has a perky set of man-hooters.

After mostly taking an all-nighter due to the scary rantings of a lunatic (every one has a few of these, am I right?), I woke to the police knocking on my door. Two of New York's finest were cordial and asking if I knew about the sweet old lady next door and could I find the super to open her door for them. Dish to the rescue! They even used my facilities. Long story short, the sweet old lady had died a few days before. I'm not sure why this makes me happy. Maybe because she's in a better place, is probably happier now. She was quite ill and lived by herself. It puts the lunatics into perspective. TG is sad he missed all the fun, though I'm sure he would have gotten more involved in transporting the body and wondering about switching apartments.

When Dish hears about The Bachelor contestants threatening to rip a %*($*'s face off, the DVR must be set to record. Ben seems functional as this year's bachelor, a bit too Beta but most definitely the lovechild of Keanu and Nadal. I already know who should win (Kacie, the administrative assistant) and who's too batshit crazy (that blogger chick) to stay but will to keep the show interesting, which it's not.

Sandra Bernhard hates on Kathy Griffin which is beyond stupid. Jealous much of Kathy's success? I do enjoy them both but loathe when women bash each other like this, glorifying themselves by crucifying another which always backfires.

Why I Love Brandi Glanville

She drunkenly married her BFF over New Year's. Good for her even though they're probably getting annulled. Did they consummate the marriage before her head went down the toilet? That bitch knows how to party! I've always wanted to spontaneously get married then regret it the day after. My groom could have gotten drunk and I would have taken an Ambien, which makes me do crazy things like email inappropriate things to acquaintances from decades ago, eat butter/crackers and roast eggplant that's been sitting at the bottom of the fridge for days. Maybe when TG and I renew our vows, we can pretend to be strangers and then get smashed and remarried. I will carry his blood in a vial around my neck. Oh wait, he would worry someone might steal it. Never mind!

Le City De Love!

People, you know it's love if a guy meets you in Paris. Not only does he want to boink you silly (wear a condom) in the City of Lights, but you're soaked in culture. Derek and Minka went to the Musee D'Orsay and so many masterpieces are hanging there. The two must have strolled through the halls, Minka might have told him about this Courbet painting, he went "whoa" and the love just got deeper. In the Musee Rodin, he and Minka probably acted out some of the sculptures, especially the super phallic ones, they giggled, and then went to the rose garden outside wherein Minka gave Derek a super-sexy botany lesson. "Didn't Rodin go out with that scary bitch?" Derek probably asked, and so Minka updated him on super-great Camille Claudel.

I see great things for these two.

Happy New Year!

I'm with Kim Kardashian, who Tweeted, "i wanna be more simple in 2012." Well, mission accomplished, sweetie! It's time to break out the Derrida and get those chocolate peepers perusing challenging, like, material and, like, having an aMAAAAzing experience. It will, at the very least, prevent her from getting bangs again.

Dish merged with the couch and howled over Kathy Griffin's antics. The stripping down to a bra, well, it just makes a girl think of ways to shock the world. If Kathy can do it, why can't I? There is prison to consider.

Yet another engagement: LeBron James. What does Dish say about dating athletes? Despite this, I wish the happy couple great joy.

What really broke Katy and Russell up? Dish saw it the second they started dating. KP's at the beginningish of a great career. He's kinda doing well but has a string of bummer movies. And, well, he doesn't translate as well here. Plus, the age difference and he's done partying and she's having fun. Something's gotta give.

Pictures have surfaced of Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly canoodling in Paris. Dishfriendintheoffice must be SO pissed.