Happy Birthday, Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran!

And you thought I'd forget! He has the best nostrils in the business. I'm not talking drugs here, but actual flare-tastic dream-catchers. Plus, he can carry off adrogyny even into his...FIFTIES!

Cheers to the Duran Duran member I was in love with from 83-4 (I was all about the John-Simon sandwich). If you watch this, you'll experience his pleasant demeanor. It's like a bubbling bath for the tortured soul. If he ever gets stressed, all he has to do is listen to himself.

I might be relaxed enough for a nap.

Losing 10 Pounds Has Made Me Crazy (er)!

I stepped on the scale this morning and realized I'd lost 10 pounds since April -- when I upped my running regime to 20 miles per week. For some reason, my appetite has left the building, and while I'm ready for TV again, I feel like crap. Dish is not meant to be this thin. Will force myself to chow down. The body wants what it wants. My Pussycat Doll performance will have to wait.

Even though he dissed our segment, I can't help falling in love with Anderson Cooper as he shreds Amanda Bynes over her Tweet to the Prez. A Dish-source once dealt with her and said she was super-mean. Too bad because What a Girl Wants is one of my favorite movies. Love Kelly Preston too...

The big drama is the alleged confrontation between former lovers Taylor Swift and John Mayer. Years ago, she wrote a song dissing him. He was probably a douchey BF (and not even a BF) and, as Simon Le Bon sings in Arcadia's Meet El Presidente "Hell hath no fury like a young girl's ego...". Years later Mayer said her song was mean and bs. A day later they are at the same restaurant and it was like oh my god and in your face. Yeah, I don't believe a word.

Dish has written many vengeance pieces but only one will see the light of day. Maybe.

So, Hillary Clinton is a little tired and overweight?

This according to former NYT editor Edward Klein. Well, here are some male politicians who look like shit.

Miley Cyrus Getting Hitched!

Well, congratulations to the happy couple! I can't imagine getting married so young, but HEY, why not? The wedding will be beautiful (let's hope trashy too) and it's another way for Miley to reinvent herself. But...I always like my girls to keep working. It keeps you from the Bad Ds (depression, Dewars, drugs, disgusting dudes).

In far more important news: Ray Bradbury died. I take for granted all the great novelists are deceased so apologies if I'm not grief-stricken. I mourned Ray long ago, like in the 80s when I read Farenheit 451. That is what he wrote, right? Kill me.

In my solitary viewing of The Bachelorette, I noticed that all the guys were sweaty. Shiny noses and foreheads were rocking the glare and ruining the fantasy for Dish. By contrast, Emily always is a glamazon. My money is still on Arie. An outbreak of stomach flu would up the drama...

Remember how months ago when Dish considered attending the Queer As Folk reunion in Germany last month? Well, guess who was missing? I predicted this, though I would have parked myself by Sharon Gless anyway and beg her call me Sunshine. The Kinney absence seems douchey. Hard for Dish to keep the fan flame alive. Okay, one last try. Michael Fassbender would be an even better Kinney than you-know-who.

Seeing Stars?

Dish stumbled to feed the cat at 3:41am and hit the noggin' hard against the wall, which felt like the kitchen. The bruise on my forehead plagued me all day. Fear not, a little mugwort fixed that right up*.

So, after ditching Hugh Hefner at the altar last year, Crystal Harris moved back into the Playboy Mansion, resuming scrotal excavations. I can only think of their love in filthy terms, but then what is dirtier than love of money? Is this true love or I-couldn't-make-it-on-my-own-itis?

To erase all complex musings, I continued my Ally McBeal journey Take 2 and am now at the point (season 3) where Calista and Portia are scary, scary skinny. This didn't phase me in 2000 since I had the same upper body. THINGS CHANGE ONCE YOU TURN 40...and that's okay no it's not.

I won't mention anything about Scout Willis being arrested in NYC for underage drinking. This is one of the problems of being a starchild. Suri Cruise is SOOOO going to jail at some point. Though I hope not.

I'm a little nervous as we near the end of The Shield (two seasons left) but tonight we might get our television-crack, The Glee Project. I'm not into it, but TG is. He hates Glee, though. Go fig!

*bonus points if you know which movie this comes from.

Damn You, SJP and Obama!

Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. President, how dare you lure me with a star-tastic fundraiser dinner at SJP's apartment (which I think is close to mine so I won't need car service--FYI). That's hitting below the belt. I loves my Sex and the City. I loves my Hillary Clinton Obama. The idea of a free dinner at the home of Sarah, Matthew, John Wilkes Booth McConaughey Broderick and the girl-twins--well, I am a whore for such sumptuous personal-chef-cooked celebrity goodness. I clicked on the Sign Me Up button, which took me to Obama's donor page. Yes, I donated for the tiny chance I might win. It's tax deductible, right? Oh wait...maybe not. And you know I probably won't get picked because I never win anything*. Screwed by the celebs AGAIN! No new J-Crew dress for me this week...

And if I couldn't get any whorier, I got a Duran Duran Fan VIP email signing me up for the chance to win super-secret tickets to a spontaneous NYC concert during the week they're on GMA (6/18, everybody watch). Imagine, I'll soon be breathing the same polluted oxygen as my brave heroes. This devoted fan is dreaming big!!!

Nothing else going on but the stars in their bikinis. And Mad Men. Trying not to read spoiler alerts...I heard something really bad happened involving Lane. Ugh...he represents our collective vulnerabilities. We can't all be the steel that is Don Draper.

*except for the Jackpot of Life with a wonderful family, including a gorgeous and sweet husband.

Death and Marriage: June Is Busting Out All Over

I keep forgetting that June is wedding month, which was why I married in January. I can't compete with all those lovely young brides and Dish sweats in the summer. You know who was probably a gorgeous bride? Drew Barrymore. She got hitched yesterday to Will Something and she's knocked up. Cameron Diaz was in attendance. I need wedding photos now.

My personal favorite couple from Bachelor Pad 2, Holly Durst and Blake Julian also married. I watched this show with great relish and adored the effortlessly fun-loving Holly. Though cast in a dark light at first, Blake let down his spiky, slightly receding hair and fell in love with her.

The more literary my leanings, the crappier my TV. I read Anthony Burgess's New Yorker article then went straight to Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I accept the presence of evil just as I feel for Kim's voluminous ass running for cover when Bruce Jenner puts a wee spider on her.

Nothing will save me from this weekend's heartbreak, the loss of two legends: Kathryn Joosten, of Desperate Housewives and The West Wing, passed away. She proves you can become famous and beloved later in life. And--this one really hurts since he was a large part of my childhood--Richard Dawson of Hogan's Heroes and The Family Feud also died. He would never get away with all that kissing of female contestants today.

T.G.I...Oh, whatever.

I have nothing to say.

Maybe Sunday.