I'm Gonna Make This Quick...

...because I am Ryan Seacrest this week, as in the hardest working man in show business. We'll tawk when Friday clears and I'm getting used to knitting mohair with toddler sized needles.

Very sad: Joe Frazier died. May he rest in peace and I hope his family is hanging in there. Liver cancer sucks!

Vienna and Kasey from Bachelor Pad might have broken up. I didn't see that coming. I mean, two unappealing reality stars deciding to part ways--it hurts right here.

I wouldn't be a good Duran Duran fanatic if I didn't show their recent movie/music video for "Girl Panic" where they do what they do best: worship models. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSMbOuNBV0s&feature=feedu. It's very glitzy and suggestive, but I've grown weary of the models in leather panties. Expected more and, please don't hate me. We've been getting the babes with the long legs and champagne since 1983. The good: Naomi Campbell excels as Simon Le Bon. Cindy Crawford reeks of iconic beauty and sex. Yasmin and Eva, awesome! When it comes to DD, I can't be a Yes Man. On second look realized: It's beautifully shot, but the editing makes it hard to watch. Doesn't make good enough use of the glamorous forty-something people. Before you have time to register an image, it cuts away, which did cause me to panic (same as with the second Jason Bourne movie). I could re-edit it on my iPad2. I know exactly how to fix this stinker. Did I mention that I say this with the deepest love?

Conrad Murray Is Guilty

This verdict wasn't rocket science. Dishfamilymember says propofol is awesome. Not to be used at home. Not to administer and then you leave the room. My melancholy over the verdict exists because this case had so many layers. Michael Jackson was abused/abused himself for decades and now only one person is going to jail. There are many other guilty parties. As in Thackeray's Vanity Fair, there are no heroes here.

Allegedy: Matthew Fox is suing the Cleveland woman who said he punched her in the vadge when she wouldn't let him get on her party bus. That's a country song! Justin Bieber will submit to DNA test to prove he's not the babydaddy and then he's gonna sue the nonbabymama. Herman Cain has a fourth woman, beckybeckybeckystan (I don't know the name, do you?), coming forward to say he did some sexual harassing. Is his campaign over?

Taking the high road: The Kardashians loved the SNL spoof on Kim's marriage. I love that.

Lindsay Lohan served 4.5 hours in jail. Lame! Back to the clubs.

Dumper's Remorse?

So, The Curvy Divorcee flew to Minnesota to meet with her soon-to-be ex. It reminds me of stinktastic New in Town, when high-wheeling Renee Zellwagon flies to the same place, meets Harry Connick, Jr. and learns to love country folk. Do you think Kim could learn to love Minnesota? I think America's fascination with the family is based solely on the fact that it's fun to say: Kardashian. Here's SNL's take on the next phase: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/Kardashian-Divorce-Special/1366614.

In sad news: Heavyweight legend Joe Frazier, who fought Ali oh so many years ago when Dish was barely a toddler, seems to be in the last stages of liver cancer. How heartbreaking. Puts a lot of merde into proper perspective.

Marathon day! Dish ran on the treadmill and gloried in seeing exhausted runners such as Apolo Anton Ohno and Christie Turlington Burns huffing and puffing to the finish line. And this week, will try my hand at barefoot running: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/06/magazine/running-christopher-mcdougall.html?pagewanted=5&_r=1. I can already hear J.J. and HersheyKiss saying, "What the F do you wanna do that for?"

Tomorrow is the premiere of Duran Duran's supermodel-icious video for "Girl Panic," which will star all the greats from the 80s and 90s: Cindy, Naomi, Helena, Yasmin, Eva. Can't wait.

Andy--not Mickey--Rooney Dies...

TG made a fatal reporting error this morning and killed off Mickey instead of Andy. He was America's favorite old fart. Most of all, I will remember Andy Rooney as the man DishGramma loved to watch every week on 60 Minutes. He made her giggle.

Tomorrow is the NYC marathon and I'm so glad not to live on the Upper East Side anymore. Now, I get to just nestle in the coziness of Chelsea knowing supermodel Christie Turlington is running her brains out. Oooh, which means other celebs must be around. Last time I watched, I saw the villain from One Life to Live heaving and wheezing to the end. Oh, the joys of seeing P. Diddy get a leg cramp. Maybe I'll hit the treadmill while it's happening.

For your entertainment, here is Triumph the insult comedy dog on the Occupy Protests. Highly offensive but loved every second: http://teamcoco.com/video/triumph-occupy-wall-st.

Star Sighting--Hugh Dancy!!!

Texted by DishfriendMel at 3:18pm to say she saw this gem on 41st and 8th Avenue. And Dish was just mentioning Billy Crudup, who is sperm brothers with Hugh who is married to Claire Danes. I first saw Hugh in Evening, one of the crappiest on record with an all-star cast of Claire, Meryl, Vanessa Redgrave and others. It couldn't have sucked more. He was a delight in The Big C. He and Billy C. resemble each other so I can see how Claire Danes got confused in the dark and bonked Hugh by accident while she was with Billy, though I'm just making that up, I don't think it's true.

No Peanuts = Preggo? You learn something new every day! Dish knows nothing about pregnancy other than you can get knocked up sitting on the toilet, you yakk every morning and go through excruciating pain unless you get a scheduled C-section like the stars do. So, Kate Middleton refused something peanut related which the paps took to mean she's got a royal bun in the oven. Really? I thought it was just blue cheese and tunafish you couldn't have. My woman's intuition says Kate isn't pregs yet. Maybe next year.

Courtney Stodden got tit-tested, going on national television to prove her gigantic melons are real. People are starving, celebs are divorcing, the economy is in a tail spin. We worry about this?

Even more important is the trouble Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are having. Their love must survive. Someone wants to kill adorable Selena and another person claims pre-pubescent Bieber fathered her child. Has the world gone crazy?

Just saw amazingly talented Dishniece in Sweeney Todd, a darling production put on by some crazy college kids. Moved to tears during a couple songs. Dishniece will be famous someday. But will she introduce me to Julia?

You are NOT Joyce DeWitt!

As I write this, KK must be flying back to the US to face her subjects. Dish watched the interviews and she did look a little shell-shocked--but fabulous skin and gloss! What's making bigger news is Kris Jenner's utterly awful "Indian Giver" comment on The Today Show. Along with the Native Americans, we Little People are offended that she would scoff at someone wanting a 2 million dollar ring back. Does she have any idea how wretched her comment was on many levels? The best managerial advice Dish could give is to go away for a while and then come back. Britney did it. Lindsay's gotta do it too.

Rumor has it Billy Crudup and Grace Gummer, both in Tom Stoppard's Acadia, are an item. A powerful coupling that brings him ever so close to Claire Danes, who's acted in a few films with Grace's moms Meryl. For me, it's a fairly worthy alliance as Billy C. stole Eat Pray Love.

Porky's actor Wyatt Knight was found dead of an apparent suicide. Blessings on his coming and going.

What are YOU looking at?

Signora Brunetta Largia Buttica gave an interview in Australia about her newly ended marriage and I couldn't tell if she was really upset, in shock or just playing--the face is that frozen. She did say "you know" repeatedly which demonstrates to me a high level of brainlessness. Dish says "you know" a lot too. I think it started with Gen X. More reading needed.

Today's Star: Ethan Zohn who found out a couple months ago that his Hodgin's Lymphoma had returned. But he is in treatment and we can pray that he sails right through this! He is one of the first celebs I spotted in the city (Grammercy area) so I have a soft spot even though I've never watched Survivor.

The big news is Justin Bieber and his paternity suit. I'm sorry. I didn't realize he'd even gotten his pubes. It seems so verbotten that he's having sex at his age.

This just in: Lindsay Lohan sentenced to 30 days in jail. Which means three hours. Toxicology reports that Bubba Smith died from an overdose of diet pills. Wrong on so many levels. Dish used to take "diet chocolates" at age 12. My grandmother, with whom I was staying, had no idea. The chocolates were so delicious--I kept eating them! Jittery pre-pubescent Dish = scary. I wound up fatter than ever. Diets don't work too well for me. I find if you move your tukkus a little each day, you don't need to diet.

Boycott the Kardashians While You Occupy Wall Street

It's the only way to get these boring people off your screens. As Al Pacino might say, they are "a waste of my mother-f*cking time." I sort of feel that when you start your career on your back, you die there. During intense discussions, Dishmama alleges that Kris Humphries was used. Kim has fled to Australia. Maybe she'll meet someone there.

So many juicy tidbits, the mind is a-whirl! Hugh Grant is a new dad. Never thought he'd reproduce though it was an accident. Denise Richards and Richie Sambora dating again. Makes me feel better about him and Heather breaking up. Zooey Deschanel and her hubs split.

The saddest news for our dear Hillary. Her mother Dorothy Rodham dies at 92. A great lady birthed a great lady.

Amy Winehouse has a new album coming out on December 5. Janis Joplin has brand new material coming around Christmas.

This is enough news for me. I'm sentencing myself to one more chapter of Dangerous Liaisons. I'm furious at TG (and writing this will infuriate him) because he's mean to me when he's sick. For some reason, my being mad makes him giddy. Maybe this will boost his immune system.