Director Madonna for a Day

I did a lot of filming today, only this time I was behind the camera. I have new respect for anyone involved in movie production. It is grueling work that kills your feet and saps all energy. Then there's editing, which I will have to learn licketty split. Prayers that the outcome is a good one. I went beyond my limit just a bit and did not do half-assed work. All while nursing a cold.

Regarding celebrities, I know nothing today, other than Desperate Housewives fallout. Something about a recession, plunging stock market, financial disaster, shows canceled right and left, and Ashton holds up the rear. It's good that TV is being ruthless about programming, though it hasn't stopped hasbeen reality shows from spreading like baby spiders.

Sigh...There is a rift between me and TG over Cowboys & Aliens, which he loved. I'm pretty sure it's not a guy movie since I have some sh$teous action movies in my collection. Maybe he's upset I made him watch Notting Hill. And now I shall retire. Tomorrow I'll be back with dirt.

Cowboys & Indians & Aliens

The Native Americans always get the shaft even though they played an integral part in Cowboys & Aliens, Dish's mild disappointment of the summer. It was a little slow and in love with itself. The clichés were beyond predictable (boy, dead chick, dog, knife, who's an alien, key deaths), though I realize cowboys and alien movies are all about the clichés, plot contrivances and sllllooooowwww pacing. So how did I amuse myself? By wondering about Daniel Craig's diet: turkey, egg whites, water, lettuce, cigarettes. In this movie, he is pure hat-wearing lollipop--big head, little body. I wanted to give him a sandwich while also vowing to go on the same diet immediately. How Dish would love to have twig legs and no ass in chaps just for one day. Olivia Wilde, also a skinny bitch who eats nothing, is luminous on screen with those wide set eyes, flowing hair and Terminator-fashioned square jaw. Harrison Ford kvetched and scowled throughout, getting in one half smile toward the end. The most entertaining parts were whenever Daniel Craig landed a punch. He is a master of action.

What's new this Sunday? By now you must have heard how Charlie Sheen dies on Two and a Half Men. If Pam Ewing could dream an entire season of Dallas, they could always bring him back. Some telling photos of Jessica Simpson's alleged baby bump. She does look preggo though this is just another pebble in the Land of Who Cares. Forgive Dish's negativity--sinus issues.

Post-Wedding Lounging

Congratulations to Dishbrother who married his love Dishbrotherpartner! It was very moving. How else to recover from a great wedding than to watch the catty Part 2 of The Real Housewives of New York City? Even TG had a hard time breaking away. Speaking of housewives, Desperate Housewives's last season is ending a year shorter than planned. Maybe because it's been blowing lately? Maybe the fast-forward five years wasn't brilliant, though it did give Gale Harold more work.

Why I love Kathy Griffin:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZFlHALukD4 My favorite incorrigible whore.

I'm reading things about The Normal Heart, to be directed by Ryan Murphy and possibly starring Julia and Mark Ruffalo. Cut to Dish running toward Julia yelling, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The play has had a huge resurgence but I just don't see it as a movie and after Eat Pray Love, well, I can't say it because Julia is Love itself. What about Notting Hill 2 instead?

A tidbit that seems like bs: Ryan Reynolds ended things with Charlize Theron b/c she was getting too serious. Women are such wily creatures. All we do is get too serious. One look at a man and we *have* to nail him down. After 10 years with a steady beau (whom she never married), I can't really see this as true.

So, Janet Jackson was vindicated when Nicki Minaj slipped her nip GMA. And it was a huge slip with a bulging boob popping out of her spandex. WHY DIDN'T SHE WEAR A BRA??? When you have large gozongas, you keep them from popping out.

Allegedly, Daniel Craig's ex charged a million $ on his credit card when he dismissed her for Rachel Weisz and wouldn't return her phone calls. That's hard core but I get it.

Dishbrother Is Getting Married Today!

It's so exciting. I wish I could care about celebrities, but it's impossible right now. I'm getting a new brother-in-law and he's adorable. And thank the Cosmic Goddess for legalizing gay marriage in New York!

But if I have to report about celebrities, here goes. Please enjoy this fun video where Anderson Cooper goes off on Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/04/anderson-cooper-montag-demon-spawn_n_918192.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009
I love it when Andy gets pissy.

TG's hero, Sacha Baron Cohen, has moved to Battery Park City. Watch out, Sacha. If you see a gorgeous, affable man in khakis quietly admiring you from afar, it's my husband. He's harmless and super-brilliant himself.

Rest in peace Annette Charles aka Cha Cha from Grease and NFL great Bubba Smith.

My last item: Don't do it, Kat Von D. Don't go back.

Star Sighting--Mickey Rourke!!!

7:55 pm, while walking along the water on the west side, Dish caught sight of a hulk in spandex and a rubber face. He looked as if he'd finished a workout on a patch of grass with a trainer. Big and built like a brick sh*thouse, Mickey ambled away, so enigmatic that Mr. Rourke. It took all my strength to keep TG from running after him. Mickey is one of those cool actors you run after, especially if you're a guy and you just saw The Wrestler. Gotta respect Mickey's workout, I said.

And now, to sleep because tomorrow Dishbrother is getting married to adorable, lovable, and fun Dishsidekick. It's party-time!!!

Remember The Main Event?

It was one of my favorite movies growing up. Ah, remember when Barbra Streisand leans over in bed to get a glass of water, pushing her bosoms up again Ryan O'Neal? I got goosebumps! I watched it recently and...it's goddawful. Why didn't anyone tell me?

The O'Neals are having a terrible time. First Redmond gets caught with drugs. Then Griffin drives into another car and police find drugs and a weapon in his vehicle. Losing Farrah, Tatum going bananas but re-emerging triumphantly, then Ryan's fight with illness. It's all just too much. They all need to go to Canyon Ranch.

The Bachelor pick Vienna Girardi had a gorgeous honker but just got it trimmed down. My husband threatens to fly overseas to get himself a nice, new Irish nose. I would die.

Casey Anthony was spotted in Ohio and she's being ordered back to Orlando. Frankly, this doesn't surprise me. She has relatives there. Anthony's lawyers maintain she won't be safe in Orlando. If I had half a brain and were the most sought-after person of the day, I would disappear. CA obviously wants people to see her.

Grant Show's wife filed for divorce. Now maybe he'll have time to mount a campaign to bring back that excellent show Swingtown. I'm waiting for season 2!

Watching Live Aid 4-Disc set. I remember exactly where I was on July 13, 1985. Chill-inducing to see Phil Collins singing with Sting, Bryan Ferry, Sade, Adam Ant, Alison Moyet. Though most of them seem baked. It was beyond eerie to see Princess Diana, smiling and hiding in her hell. Saving Duran Duran for last.

Busted, Booked, and Back to Normal!

What is up with the ne'er-do-wells? Samantha Ronson arrested for DUI (Doesn't she look happy?). Redmond O'Neal arrested for heroin and pot possession. I should be arrested for the number of nail polishes I own and never use. I wonder what Lindsay Lohan thinks about all this...

The most important news yet is that 80s supermodel Linda Evangelista--known mostly to Dish for dating Kyle MacLaughlin who looks exactly like her--wants 46G a month in child support from Salma Hayek's Gingie Husband Babydaddy. What would I do with that kind of money? I'D GO SEE DURAN DURAN ON TOUR THIS FALL! Trying to decide if I should go to multiple dates: Philly, Atlantic City, D.C. and NYC. Have never done that. Voice of reason: I have other responsibilities. But is it every day that my heroes tour? And how could I deprive TG of the joy of seeing them live? Will Simon's voice last?

Oh yeah, and Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (not Kathy Griffin, TG) cast her vote in the whole debt wall-to-wall glass houses ceiling bill. This, in fact, is the best feat of all. Bravo, Gabs!

The Bachelorette, Ashley Hebert (castoff dental student from The Bachelor) has waded through her issues and decided she wasn't too career focused and has chosen her man: http://abc.go.com/watch/the-bachelorette/SH5556990/VD55137383/week-10-part-1. See the episode because I sure won't. After The Bachelor heartbreak, I can invest in another couple.

Star Sighting --Emily Bergl!!!

I crashed into the Chelsea Le Pain Quotidien at 5:10pm. I instantly got a whiff of Celebrity. But where was he/she? As I stood in line, I noticed the man in front of me looked an awful lot like Billy Crudup. Then I saw the wedding ring and thought, No, Billy's a serial monogamist, he wouldn't dare marry, not even if she were pregs. My radar turned to the side where I saw a statuesque, smiling blonde doctoring her drink. Of course, it was the lovely pointy-nosed Emily Bergl, who did us all a disservice by donating her kidney to Teri Hatcher on Desperate Housewives!!! How could she? And yet, her pleasant demeanor no doubt fueled by her imminent joy at drinking an organic LPQ beverage--how could I be mad at that?

The vomit story has legs. Kings of Leon now canceled their entire U.S. tour. I guess Gatorade isn't working for Caleb Followill. The baby epidemic is growing as Fantasia reveals she is pregs! No, not the Disney movie that has all that classical music but the American Idol winner who had her own reality show. Cowboys and Smurfs tie for 1st place in the B.O. I'm sure this should be a porn flick. On the same Disney, looney toons vein, Casey Anthony has been ordered back to Orlando.

TG informed me about something related to a debt ceiling.