Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Gorgeous Bun in the Oven

The world gasped today as news broke that Eva Mendes will soon be pushing out via scheduled C-section her baybay with Ryan Gosling. No one is thinking about Eva, how lucky Ryan is to have impregnated her. I'm a little worried because sometimes two beautiful people does not a pretty baby make. (though Dish thinks Ryan looks like a psychotic banana and The Notebook bleeeeewwwwww)

This news only proves my celebrity ESP since just the other day I was contemplating Eva while Swiffering the bedroom. And before you think I'm playing into a sad, offensive stereotype, the truth is that I'd been purging my apartment and had agonized over whether or not to discard my Hitch DVD. Did I love her enough to keep it? I can see always admire Eva is print ads, where I feel she shines most as an artist. She is an amazing model. And now I adore her for keeping her fetus a secret.

Michelle Rodriguez and Zac Efron a couple? Dish doesn't believe it. And now I'm more skeptical that Joe Mangianello (?) and Sofia are making whoopie behind closed doors.

New speculation: Will Rosie rejoin The View? I hope so. I stopped watching when she left. She and Whoopi can rule as far as I'm concerned. Dish wants more smart, cranky women on TV--and I'm available starting now.

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

What Brings Me Back

I could give excuses for my silence:

1. Middle age
2. Dish-relative's frightening injury and my downward spiral into contemplating mortality (not mine, of course)
3. Overall decay of the mind
4. I hate summer
5.  The World Cup: the German coach has me frozen with fear.
6. Lindsay Lohan's father might be procreating yet again with same babymama he keeps brawling with and who keeps winding up in jail. This world is going to hell.

So what do I have to say? Here it is: I read that Sofia Vergara and Brian Mangianello (that's probably not his name), the tall guy from True Blood (the dark-haired one) are an item. I almost can't picture it because both are far too attractive to be in the same room. Do you believe these two make out and do other things?

I'd have to see pictures.

I'll leave you with an embarrassing confession. This is not the first time I've been an airhead:

I've bought three tickets to Rocky The Musical. I've only seen it once.

The first ticket I'd accidentally purchased for a night when I had fixed plans. I didn't realize it till the last minute. The second time I went. As a reward for surviving a challenging week, I bought a third ticket and then all hell broke loose. Won't buy another ticket until I have a clear calendar and everyone is safe, i.e. never.